Do You Know What She Said When She Was Pulling My Hair?!?
Question:
kbeth, It is very clear you have lived in an intolerable situation for some time. Your mother is seriously mentally ill. You can do nothing to change her illness and apparently neither can she. I know you feel like you computer is an important lifeline. It may or may not be possible to get out and take it with you. Think of a plan. If she hurts you frequently enough perhaps you can construct a ‘plan’ to enact while she is under arrest. If you can’t take it with you, you’ll still have access through a library. It is right for you to tell the police anthing she has done to harm you. There is a reason that abusers will be arrested if the police are aware of an assault, they have to make that decision for the victim. The victim is usually under so much psychological control of the abuser, the victim cannot be responsible to make the best judgement. Is it possible that you tell your mother too much? People with OCD have that ‘need to tell’ gene. There is nothing useful with her knowing your every thought. Be strong and make a plan. Lisa * Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet’s Discussion Network * The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet – Free!
Response:
On Mon, 24 Apr 2000 00:57:44 -0700, LKL <ichydogNOicS…@aol.com.invalid> wrote: >Is it possible that you tell your mother too much? People with >OCD have that ‘need to tell’ gene. There is nothing useful with >her knowing your every thought.
It was a mistake to ever tell her the truth about my medicine. When I realized that I had a problem taking extra, I volutarilty gave her my pills to hold for me and give to me each day. Now when I need extra, I search through the house and find them. Sometimes she counts the pills, and I get my worthless head handed to me along with a barage of panic inducing threats about rehabs and hospitals. I should have just never confessed or trusted her with this problem and sought help privately. Now she has a weapon to terrorize me with… the fear of losing my meds and the fear of ending up in a rehab, which isn’t fair because I know damn well, that if I didn’t have to take her constant abuse and domination and I had activities that I enjoyed I wouldn’t need to rely so heavily on my meds. But, I’m screwed now. And she has my meds as leverage to control me and frighten me as she has done tonight. -kbeth
Response:
Kbeth, Go ahead and plot how to regain control of your meds. This is just another way that the abuser controls the victim. A plan of getting out will not come to you in a few minutes, take time to think through the most painless route out of the house. Do not get frustrated if you can’t figure it our right away. I really think it will benefit you to contrast your situation to that of an abused spouse. This issue has been so much in the media the last 15-20 years that you probably are familiar with those dynamics. Your mom may be acting the way she does because she can’t help it, but that does not need to be your concern. And you know, if she gets arrested, you can find your meds once she is gone. Thinking about you a lot, Lisa * Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet’s Discussion Network * The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet – Free!
Response:
Gritting her teeth after she punched my arm hard and grabbed me with her sharp nails she said with glaring eyes, "Is this what the rapist did?", pulling my hair hard. Oh, I tried to keep this private in emails only, but what the fuck, I don’t care anymore. A few weeks ago she wiped my keyboard, nintendo and playstation with HER OWN urine to rid the "evil energies" because she heard about it in the Kabballah. AND I’M INCOMPETANT FOR TAKING EXTRA MEDS TO COPE WITH A WOMAN THAT VIOLATES ME, MY PROPERTY AND WHILE SUFFERING FROM MY OWN DEPRESSION AND ANXIETY DISORDER, THE FINANCIAL PROBLEMS AND ABSCENCE OF FRIENDS AND REAL LIFE SUPPORT SYSTEMS??????????? DO YOU THINK I COULD HAVE SURVIVED THE PAST FOUR YEARS UNLESS I HAD CHEMICAL ASSISTANCE????? THE PRESCRIBED DOSE, EVEN RAISED IS NOT ENOUGH!! SHOULD I "ADMIT" TO BEING AN "ADDICT" OR JUST KNOW I’M DOING WHATEVER I CAN TO SURVIVE THIS NIGHTMARE?!!!!!???? -kbeth
Response:
On Mon, 24 Apr 2000 02:54:01 -0400, kbeth <k…@dolphin1.net> wrote:
Dear Kbeth.. Im so sorry for all you are going throug right now. Get the hell away from that woman as fast as you can. She has problems of her own. Let her deal with them alone. Its not your problem and you should not let her abuse you mother or no mother. In my eyes she belong to the latter since no caring mom would act like that. Go to a shelter, call the cops on her again or whatever it takes for you to get out of there. I dont know how old you are but im sure anything but her home would be better for you right now. I know its a scary option but you will feel a hell of a lot better getting out of her house. If you feel like talking privately my email is whigfie…@hotmail.com. Ill be happy to try to help you.. Hugs.. Sussan
