Fish…a little OT
Question:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – this will seem like the dumbest reason to be anxious but for some reason i am losing sleep oer this. Wed my inlaws invited us over for a fish fry. Which is fine. But my father in law wants me to help prepare the fish. Which means he wants me to clean out the bones and get the meat out. Thing is they still have there heads on ad there tiny little eyeballs will be looking at me. the thought of doing this is making me sick . I want to say NO forget it i aint doing it but they would be offended. (they are weird outdoorsy people. I have come along way from being a city girl to going up to the moutains and pitching a tent in the middle of nowhere …peeing in the woods…..and actually caught a fish. I even bated a hook last year/ But this is now crossing the line. To pick up a knife and pull out meat on something that still has eyeballs is just insane. I asked if the heads could be removed and they said no because it helps to take the bones out. So i am stuck ..this isnt a moral animal rights issue with me ….its just seems really gross. Ok i am done ranting over this….sorry had to get it out someone lol (husband doesnt seem to understand what the big deal is) Byeeee God Bless
Dera julie, As hard as it is SAY NO ! You don’t have to do something you absolutely feel ackward about ! Kiss from Anna
Response:
Hi Julie, I wouldn’t do it. If saying no bothers you, then put a bandaid on your finger and say [whatever]. – Kinder – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -this will seem like the dumbest reason to be anxious but for some reason i am losing sleep oer this. Wed my inlaws invited us over for a fish fry. Which is fine. But my father in law wants me to help prepare the fish. Which means he wants me to clean out the bones and get the meat out. Thing is they still have there heads on ad there tiny little eyeballs will be looking at me. the thought of doing this is making me sick . I want to say NO forget it i aint doing it but they would be offended. (they are weird outdoorsy people. I have come along way from being a city girl to going up to the moutains and pitching a tent in the middle of nowhere …peeing in the woods…..and actually caught a fish. I even bated a hook last year/ But this is now crossing the line. To pick up a knife and pull out meat on something that still has eyeballs is just insane. I asked if the heads could be removed and they said no because it helps to take the bones out. So i am stuck ..this isnt a moral animal rights issue with me ….its just seems really gross. Ok i am done ranting over this….sorry had to get it out someone lol (husband doesnt seem to understand what the big deal is) Byeeee God Bless
Response:
It really seems like they are playing games. Everybody involved seems to have no trouble with this work, except you. They want you to do it. Tell them you won’t do it, that you are not comfortable doing it, and don’t know how. Tell them you will watch, at least some, so you can see how to do it some other time. If they really insisted, they should have "fishburger" made with whole fish, all over the landscape! I would make sure nobody even suggested I ever do it again! incidentally, helping you deal with this is your husband’s job, whatever you want to do, he should support it. Boyd — "The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity." (Ellen Parr- author)
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – this will seem like the dumbest reason to be anxious but for some reason i am losing sleep oer this. Wed my inlaws invited us over for a fish fry. Which is fine. But my father in law wants me to help prepare the fish. Which means he wants me to clean out the bones and get the meat out. Thing is they still have there heads on ad there tiny little eyeballs will be looking at me. the thought of doing this is making me sick . I want to say NO forget it i aint doing it but they would be offended. (they are weird outdoorsy people. I have come along way from being a city girl to going up to the moutains and pitching a tent in the middle of nowhere …peeing in the woods…..and actually caught a fish. I even bated a hook last year/ But this is now crossing the line. To pick up a knife and pull out meat on something that still has eyeballs is just insane. I asked if the heads could be removed and they said no because it helps to take the bones out. So i am stuck ..this isnt a moral animal rights issue with me ….its just seems really gross. Ok i am done ranting over this….sorry had to get it out someone lol (husband doesnt seem to understand what the big deal is) Byeeee God Bless
Response:
Hi Julie….I find it strange that your father-in-law is handing our jobs…sounds like a control freak to me, but you have every right to say "No, Nada, Can’t do it," back to him without feeling dumb or stuck. Say it with a smile, and go about your business. Trust me, someone else will do it. And if they make a big deal out of it, just make a joke out of the fact that your dainty little hands do not touch anything that still has eyes attached to it and say your husband will do it instead. You are an unique adult and have the right to say No to something you really don’t want to do, and if they don’t like it, oh well, ….. I mean, come on, we’re just talking about cleaning some fish here, not performing life saving surgery! ~Rita 
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – this will seem like the dumbest reason to be anxious but for some reason i am losing sleep oer this. Wed my inlaws invited us over for a fish fry. Which is fine. But my father in law wants me to help prepare the fish. Which means he wants me to clean out the bones and get the meat out. Thing is they still have there heads on ad there tiny little eyeballs will be looking at me. the thought of doing this is making me sick . I want to say NO forget it i aint doing it but they would be offended. (they are weird outdoorsy people. I have come along way from being a city girl to going up to the moutains and pitching a tent in the middle of nowhere …peeing in the woods…..and actually caught a fish. I even bated a hook last year/ But this is now crossing the line. To pick up a knife and pull out meat on something that still has eyeballs is just insane. I asked if the heads could be removed and they said no because it helps to take the bones out. So i am stuck ..this isnt a moral animal rights issue with me ….its just seems really gross. Ok i am done ranting over this….sorry had to get it out someone lol (husband doesnt seem to understand what the big deal is) Byeeee God Bless
Response:
says… this will seem like the dumbest reason to be anxious but for some reason i am losing sleep oer this. Wed my inlaws invited us over for a fish fry. Which is fine. But my father in law wants me to help prepare the fish. Which means he wants me to clean out the bones and get the meat out.
Thing is they still have there heads on ad there tiny little eyeballs will be
looking at me. the thought of doing this is making me sick . I want to say NO
forget it i aint doing it but they would be offended. (they are weird outdoorsy
people. I have come along way from being a city girl to going up to the
moutains and pitching a tent in the middle of nowhere …peeing in the
woods…..and actually caught a fish. I even bated a hook last year/ But this
is now crossing the line. To pick up a knife and pull out meat on something
that still has eyeballs is just insane. I asked if the heads could be removed and they said no because it helps to take the bones out. So i am stuck ..this isnt a moral animal rights issue with me ….its just seems really gross. Ok i am done ranting over this….sorry had to get it out someone lol (husband
doesnt seem to understand what the big deal is) Byeeee God Bless
I have never cleaned a fish in my life, and I’m not going to start. Tell them the same. Your anxiety level will go way down and you will feel a lot better about yourself when you stop letting people tell you what you are going to do. It’s worked for me! Love, Dot
Response:
Say no and offer to do something else you can be comfortable handling. This is your life and your feelings, Julie. It is okay to respect your feelings. Take care, Liz – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – this will seem like the dumbest reason to be anxious but for some reason i am losing sleep oer this. Wed my inlaws invited us over for a fish fry. Which is fine. But my father in law wants me to help prepare the fish. Which means he wants me to clean out the bones and get the meat out. Thing is they still have there heads on ad there tiny little eyeballs will be looking at me. the thought of doing this is making me sick . I want to say NO forget it i aint doing it but they would be offended. (they are weird outdoorsy people. I have come along way from being a city girl to going up to the moutains and pitching a tent in the middle of nowhere …peeing in the woods…..and actually caught a fish. I even bated a hook last year/ But this is now crossing the line. To pick up a knife and pull out meat on something that still has eyeballs is just insane. I asked if the heads could be removed and they said no because it helps to take the bones out. So i am stuck ..this isnt a moral animal rights issue with me ….its just seems really gross. Ok i am done ranting over this….sorry had to get it out someone lol (husband doesnt seem to understand what the big deal is) Byeeee God Bless
– Problems are only opportunities in work clothes. –Henry Kaiser
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Julie wrote…… this will seem like the dumbest reason to be anxious but for some reason i am losing sleep oer this. Wed my inlaws invited us over for a fish fry. Which is fine. But my father in law wants me to help prepare the fish. Which means he wants me to clean out the bones and get the meat out. Thing is they still have there heads on ad there tiny little eyeballs will be looking at me. the thought of doing this is making me sick . I want to say NO forget it i aint doing it but they would be offended. (they are weird outdoorsy people. I have come along way from being a city girl to going up to the moutains and pitching a tent in the middle of nowhere …peeing in the woods…..and actually caught a fish. I even bated a hook last year/ But this is now crossing the line. To pick up a knife and pull out meat on something that still has eyeballs is just insane. I asked if the heads could be removed and they said no because it helps to take the bones out. So i am stuck ..this isnt a moral animal rights issue with me ….its just seems really gross. Ok i am done ranting over this….sorry had to get it out someone lol (husband doesnt seem to understand what the big deal is) Byeeee God Bless
Dear Julie, Stick to your guns and don`t clean the fish, no one has the right to pressure you to do something you are obviously very uncomfortable doing. So they will be annoyed or even mad, that is "their" problem and they will ge over it soon enough. You are entitled to say "NO", you are an adult and can choose what you will or will not do. When I do something only because I am being pressured to do it, I end up feeling very angry at myself that I just couldn`t say no. Try to compromise by offering to bring anything, do anything……. but gut fish. Jackie
Response:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – this will seem like the dumbest reason to be anxious but for some reason i am losing sleep oer this. Wed my inlaws invited us over for a fish fry. Which is fine. But my father in law wants me to help prepare the fish. Which means he wants me to clean out the bones and get the meat out. Thing is they still have there heads on ad there tiny little eyeballs will be looking at me. the thought of doing this is making me sick . I want to say NO forget it i aint doing it but they would be offended. (they are weird outdoorsy people. I have come along way from being a city girl to going up to the moutains and pitching a tent in the middle of nowhere …peeing in the woods…..and actually caught a fish. I even bated a hook last year/ But this is now crossing the line. To pick up a knife and pull out meat on something that still has eyeballs is just insane. I asked if the heads could be removed and they said no because it helps to take the bones out. So i am stuck ..this isnt a moral animal rights issue with me ….its just seems really gross. Ok i am done ranting over this….sorry had to get it out someone lol (husband doesnt seem to understand what the big deal is) Byeeee God Bless
Hi Julie.. I’m a bit late in replying but I can understand how you get talked into doing things that you are not happy with. That is so me. I hope everything went well for you and I really hope that you stuck to your guns on this one and said that very difficult word "NO" It sounds to me as if your husbands family are trying to test you a bit much here. I could not gut anything let alone if it was looking at me! YUK!!! Take care Julie.. Love Carol. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text –
Response:
One of the things I am learning about myself and my anxiety is that the less I stand up for myself, the more prone to anxiety I am. I truly believe that we should be of service and help others in our lives, but I have carried that to a point where I hold so much inside and give in so much that I make myself sick (literally). So, Julie, we need to practice ways of being assertive about our needs and wants. This does not mean being aggressive and totally self centered, it means taking as good care of ourselves as we would anyone else. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – (husband doesnt seem to understand what the big deal is) Byeeee As one who’s cleaned "more" than my share of fish, mostly out by a river on fishing trips – I understand what you’re talking about. As much as it’s not a problem for me – if it’s a problem for you, SAY SO! I find nothing worse, especially for anxiety disorder sufferers, to just give in and and be passive. It’s time to be assertive – and you don’t need an excuse or a reason. All you need to do is stand up and say it’s not something you prefer to do, and hold to your guns. You’ll feel "far" better for it, and learn that you needn’t be a patsy, just to "please" others. A great awakening for many, IMO. — Sloopy:) Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Jeannie
Response:
Julie, A lot of people are grossed out by the idea of cleaning fish. However, I think the big anxiety results from feeling like you are being pushed into doing something you really don’t want to do. So you have a decision to make. One choice would be to decide that you will go ahead and clean the fish; if you go this route, try to make it *your* decision and do it without resenting other people. Doing something you find gross can be a growth experience. The other choice is to say "no" as graciously as you can and recognize that if other people are offended, that is *their* decision. This also can be a growth experience. I know this is all easier said than done. With all the growth experiences, you could end up being a Giant. But that’s better than being a Dodger (apologies for the stupid joke). Techie
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – this will seem like the dumbest reason to be anxious but for some reason i am losing sleep oer this. Wed my inlaws invited us over for a fish fry. Which is fine. But my father in law wants me to help prepare the fish. Which means he wants me to clean out the bones and get the meat out. Thing is they still have there heads on ad there tiny little eyeballs will be looking at me. the thought of doing this is making me sick . I want to say NO forget it i aint doing it but they would be offended. (they are weird outdoorsy people. I have come along way from being a city girl to going up to the moutains and pitching a tent in the middle of nowhere …peeing in the woods…..and actually caught a fish. I even bated a hook last year/ But this is now crossing the line. To pick up a knife and pull out meat on something that still has eyeballs is just insane. I asked if the heads could be removed and they said no because it helps to take the bones out. So i am stuck ..this isnt a moral animal rights issue with me ….its just seems really gross. Ok i am done ranting over this….sorry had to get it out someone lol (husband doesnt seem to understand what the big deal is) Byeeee God Bless
Response:
this will seem like the dumbest reason to be anxious but for some reason i am losing sleep oer this. Wed my inlaws invited us over for a fish fry. Which is fine. But my father in law wants me to help prepare the fish. Which means he wants me to clean out the bones and get the meat out. Thing is they still have there heads on ad there tiny little eyeballs will be looking at me. the thought of doing this is making me sick . I want to say NO forget it i aint doing it but they would be offended. (they are weird outdoorsy people. I have come along way from being a city girl to going up to the moutains and pitching a tent in the middle of nowhere …peeing in the woods…..and actually caught a fish. I even bated a hook last year/ But this is now crossing the line. To pick up a knife and pull out meat on something that still has eyeballs is just insane. I asked if the heads could be removed and they said no because it helps to take the bones out. So i am stuck ..this isnt a moral animal rights issue with me ….its just seems really gross. Ok i am done ranting over this….sorry had to get it out someone lol (husband doesnt seem to understand what the big deal is) Byeeee God Bless
Response:
Hi Julie, Despite the lack of understanding from others, the important thing is its important to you. Keep that in mind. The only suggestion I have is if you could put a towel or something to cover the face (not your race…the fishs’ face) while you are filleting the fish. Other than that, you do have the option to say no…but I think you can do it and learn from the experience. Good luck, John – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – this will seem like the dumbest reason to be anxious but for some reason i am losing sleep oer this. Wed my inlaws invited us over for a fish fry. Which is fine. But my father in law wants me to help prepare the fish. Which means he wants me to clean out the bones and get the meat out. Thing is they still have there heads on ad there tiny little eyeballs will be looking at me. the thought of doing this is making me sick . I want to say NO forget it i aint doing it but they would be offended. (they are weird outdoorsy people. I have come along way from being a city girl to going up to the moutains and pitching a tent in the middle of nowhere …peeing in the woods…..and actually caught a fish. I even bated a hook last year/ But this is now crossing the line. To pick up a knife and pull out meat on something that still has eyeballs is just insane. I asked if the heads could be removed and they said no because it helps to take the bones out. So i am stuck ..this isnt a moral animal rights issue with me ….its just seems really gross. Ok i am done ranting over this….sorry had to get it out someone lol (husband doesnt seem to understand what the big deal is) Byeeee God Bless
