how do I deal with my anger? HELP me!

Question:

Hi – I ‘ve posted a lot in here since August. It has helped me a great deal. My problem now is my anger. I am begining to feel like my family thinks it’s ok to joke about how I talk about what is happening to my body with this stuff. They tell me I talk or complain about it too much. It is hurting me and making me very angry! I was fine one day and the next day - my life changed! No one understands how scary it’s been. I get so mad – I can’t even believe it. I was a strong person. I NEVER missed work. So – I got sick. And I got freaked out. I need to talk about it. I wish it on them. It makes me feel evil, but I do. I am so sick of being a joke to my family. Any advice? Thanks. I think I’d be punching a hole in the wall right now if I wasn’t posting. – Spoon. ( a joke to my family ). HELP!

I have also been the butt of jokes, about my illness. I have asked them to stop. Their reply, "But it’s just teasing, that’s our way". I have told them it is NOT acceptable to me. I just spent 8 days with MIL, she not only made fun of me, she made fun of a woman who was possibly OCD, at a restaurant. If I could push a button, and give insensitive people like that Panic/Anxiety Disorders – I would not think twice. I would want it to be long enough to get through their thick skulls, but then I would want to stop. Perhaps accompanied by a booming celestial voice reminding them to remember the lesson. LOL IMO, no one deserves this beast. You are angry and need to talk and to vent. Vent here, at ASAP. Vent via e-mail to people you know and trust, from here. Go to #anx/pan on Dalnet. Write things down that you need to process. I talk to my kitty about things that piss me off. She always nods, and agrees 100% with everything I say. These are just a few ideas. Hope one of them works for you. :-) I still have trouble with anger. But I am working on it. Remember, "WE" understand what you are going through. :P to them. — Kiesha The marvelous richness of human experience would lose something of rewarding joy, if there were not limitations to overcome. The hilltop hour would not be half so wonderful, if there were no dark valleys to traverse. Helen Keller

Response:

THANKS KIESHA!!!! You hit it right on the head! I want them to have this for 2 days and 2 nights – AT IT’S WORST! Then let them be OK. Then I would walk up to them and say – " SEE? It isn’t a joke , now, is it? " Then MAYBE they’d understand how frightening this thing can be. Thanks again. -SPOON!

Response:

THANKS KIESHA!!!! You hit it right on the head! I want them to have this for 2 days and 2 nights – AT IT’S WORST! Then let them be OK. Then I would walk up to them and say – " SEE? It isn’t a joke , now, is it? " Then MAYBE they’d understand how frightening this thing can be. Thanks again. -SPOON!

My relatives must be denser than yours, I was thinking of 2-3 weeks. LOL — Kiesha The marvelous richness of human experience would lose something of rewarding joy, if there were not limitations to overcome. The hilltop hour would not be half so wonderful, if there were no dark valleys to traverse. Helen Keller

Response:

Thank you one and all for LISTENING to me and understanding. I can’t even tell you the way I felt this morning reading your words of support. I am so glad you are all here, words can’t even express my thanks. This Newsgroup has helped me in so many ways. I just really don’t know where else to turn, my co workers ( some of them ) have been VERY cruel. I try to laugh it off because I can’t keep on telling them to please stop. They just don’t know how painful this has been. I see myself just going bonkers and hitting them – but of course I won’t. I just need to deal with my anger better. You guys are the greatest! – Spoon.

Response:

Sounds like you need to tell your family how you feel about them making jokes. It does not help to hold all that anger in. You must also understand that this is a very hard thing for people to understand. It seems like people would be more sympathatic if you had something that they could see. Good luck! Melissa – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hi – I ‘ve posted a lot in here since August. It has helped me a great deal. My problem now is my anger. I am begining to feel like my family thinks it’s ok to joke about how I talk about what is happening to my body with this stuff. They tell me I talk or complain about it too much. It is hurting me and making me very angry! I was fine one day and the next day - my life changed! No one understands how scary it’s been. I get so mad – I can’t even believe it. I was a strong person. I NEVER missed work. So – I got sick. And I got freaked out. I need to talk about it. I wish it on them. It makes me feel evil, but I do. I am so sick of being a joke to my family. Any advice? Thanks. I think I’d be punching a hole in the wall right now if I wasn’t posting. – Spoon. ( a joke to my family ). HELP!

Response:

I wish it on them. It makes me feel evil, but I do. I am so sick of being a joke to my family. Any advice? Thanks. I think I’d be punching a hole in the wall right now if I wasn’t posting. – Spoon. ( a joke to my family ). HELP!

My family makes fun of me too. They call my group members "the loons". I year at Christmas my 2 stupid S-I-L’s were talking about someone they knew who were afraid to drive over a bridge and how the anxious person was being a baby and should just get over their anxiety. They proceeded to discuss how this persons should treat this anxiety (and they were wrong) IN FRONT OF ME, LIKE I WAS NOT IN THE ROOM. I interrupted them and said " You don’t know what the hell you are talking about". Well, they just looked at me with stupid looks on thier faces. When I get really mad about shit like this the only thing that helps me is talking (venting) to people who understand. I usually chew their ear off for a while and then the anger seems to lessen. Cathy Panic/anxiety Support Group, New Jersey http://geoworld.com/Hotsprings/Villa/9093/ http://community.nj.com/cc/phobia http://members.tripod.com/~PhobiaGroup/index.html http://members.bellatlantic.net/~cathyr/

Response:

Hang in there, I know how you feel, I was going great and we were on holidays with my family and I freaked out big time, I couldn’t stop crying, I was afraid to leave the apartment we were holidaying at. They all turned on me and said stop being a cry baby and get over it. They kept throwing back at me how long they had waited for this holiday and they didn’t want me ruining it. The only time I got support was when my sisters husband got it and then they realised I just wasn’t a whinger that maybe there is something to this ANXIETY thing. I wished it on all my family as well, I just got them to read some of my books on Anxiety and then they started to understand. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hi – I ‘ve posted a lot in here since August. It has helped me a great deal. My problem now is my anger. I am begining to feel like my family thinks it’s ok to joke about how I talk about what is happening to my body with this stuff. They tell me I talk or complain about it too much. It is hurting me and making me very angry! I was fine one day and the next day - my life changed! No one understands how scary it’s been. I get so mad – I can’t even believe it. I was a strong person. I NEVER missed work. So – I got sick. And I got freaked out. I need to talk about it. I wish it on them. It makes me feel evil, but I do. I am so sick of being a joke to my family. Any advice? Thanks. I think I’d be punching a hole in the wall right now if I wasn’t posting. – Spoon. ( a joke to my family ). HELP!

Response:

Hi – I ‘ve posted a lot in here since August. It has helped me a great deal. My problem now is my anger. I am begining to feel like my family thinks it’s ok to joke about how I talk about what is happening to my body with this stuff. They tell me I talk or complain about it too much. It is hurting me and making me very angry! I was fine one day and the next day - my life changed! No one understands how scary it’s been. I get so mad – I can’t even believe it. I was a strong person. I NEVER missed work. So – I got sick. And I got freaked out. I need to talk about it. I wish it on them. It makes me feel evil, but I do. I am so sick of being a joke to my family. Any advice? Thanks. I think I’d be punching a hole in the wall right now if I wasn’t posting. – Spoon. ( a joke to my family ). HELP!

Response:

It’s not so much for your family or friends to understand you must be the one to understand why and where it comes from. Once you understand and except it and get through it, and if you must do it on your own, it will make you stronger. Some of us have no choice but to do it alone, i have my family and friends but my boyfriend of 10years that is suppose to be my lifeline, doesn’t understand or believe or want to understand it, he under estimates what pa can do to a person. I have been there and done that, i have wished it on him and then taken it back, because i can’t imagine a person going through this that i know, i couldn’t wish this on my worse enemy or someone i truly hated. I am more of a person than that, and i am not going to let this disorder change who i am deep inside, i am a nice person, not evil or vendictive. But i will be stronger and more independent when i get through this and times get a lot better, and so will you. Hang in there spoon. Hope this helped!

Response:

Sorry to hear about your problem Spoon. My first suggestion is to whack’em in the head with something hard. A baseball bat would be good enough. This may be helpful in relieving some of your anxiety Well, guess what? Of all the people in the world, my wife makes fun of me too. This really pisses me off. I got in a few arguments with her and yes, I wish it upon her so that she would understand what it is to live in constant fear of death. We have to realize that standard people will not fully understand our situation unless they live it. What you need to do IMHO, is to have a serious talk with your family and let them know that they are not helping. In my case, I took my wife to my visit with the therapist. My therapist explained to her that anxiety disorder is a real disease and it was no different than living with a diabetic for example. I think she is beginning to get the message now. I have posted several times about this issue. For some reason standard people do not believe in anxiety until you have to go to the emergency room. Regards, JP BTW, I had my second MRI today. More on this later. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hi – I ‘ve posted a lot in here since August. It has helped me a great deal. My problem now is my anger. I am begining to feel like my family thinks it’s ok to joke about how I talk about what is happening to my body with this stuff. They tell me I talk or complain about it too much. It is hurting me and making me very angry! I was fine one day and the next day - my life changed! No one understands how scary it’s been. I get so mad – I can’t even believe it. I was a strong person. I NEVER missed work. So – I got sick. And I got freaked out. I need to talk about it. I wish it on them. It makes me feel evil, but I do. I am so sick of being a joke to my family. Any advice? Thanks. I think I’d be punching a hole in the wall right now if I wasn’t posting. – Spoon. ( a joke to my family ). HELP!

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