Still Crazy
Question:
Hi Mac, You have this all blown out of proportion inside your head, Mac. You have convinced yourself you can never adapt to the new job, and that things at the old job were better. Perhaps it would be good for you to look at some of your old postings at Google and see just how uneasy you were in your old job….even before you were even looking fora new one. It is the anxiety that is getting to you, not the job situation. You are obsessed with this, and are putting every single thought on this, and cannot seem to let go of it. Down deep, you know you are not facing your anxieties, and making the whole job thing the pseudo issue. It might be the catalyst but almost any situation could have triggered the fear you are feeling. In reality, you are experiencing severe anxiety and obsession, Mac….and they need to be addressed. It is important to discover why this cycle is going on and on, with no relief. Talk to professionals about this spiral of anxiety and get treatment that will give you tools to break the spiral and heal. You have made the whole job decision at fault for your fears, and this rather lets you off the hook for solving your own anxiety problems. My heart goes out to you feelings of pain. I have struggled this same way, but finally had to face the anxiety instead of deluding myself into thinking it was the situation I was in. The job is not the issue, Mac. You have anxiety….anxiety that can be triggered by all sorts of stressors through your life. Get help for your anxiety…not help for the job. It is your interpretation of your fears that is beating you down. Thinking of you, Liz – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Still don’t know what I’m going to do. Three days until they process the paper work on the old job (curtains.) I know this is stupid redundancy but I wish things would just go back to where there were. May call the crisis line today just so I’ll have someone to talk to about this. Boy, I wish I had a significant other to talk to about this (a sympathetic one.) Still feeling like I’m in dreamworld and it could be the meds and the anxiety. Feeling a bit dull too (I’m only taking the benzo (Ativan) and not an antidepressant. Both my therapist and pdoc are out of town – this is bad timing. I thought I resolved this job issue but as you can see it is still up in the air and I know you guys think I’m being really wishy-washy. What I want to do is tell my new boss that I have anxiety issues. I’ve received mixed reviews about doing this (yes – from my therapist) and (no – from my pdoc.) My own insecurities are huge – tragically, they are driving me away from my options (i.e., new opportunities.) I don’t know quite where to turn – can’t believe I’m even thinking about calling the crisis line…..Wow MAC I need a large dose of something!
Response:
Can we have an AMEN!! – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hi Mac, Well it seems like Tuesday is your big day. What’s is going to be ? Stick with the present job or take the new job ? No matter what decision you make, and you will make one, you do need to work with a "good" psychiatrist and therapist on your anxiety disorder. Isn’t it funny how we subconsciously choose a path for our lives and we don’t realize why we chose that path until the road comes to an end and we must choose a new path. I can look at my own career choices and see how my personality (including my anxiety disorder) had a major impact on the path I have chosen. There’s nothing to be ashamed about. I am living who I am. I don’t have the urge to be anybody else. I am who I am. There’s a calming effect when I accept who I am. Be who you are Mac. Be nice to yourself this weekend. Tony
Response:
That is really screwed up. What a hell of a thing to say to someone — especially someone who called a crisis hotline. That’s rough Jennifer, it kinda makes my problems seem insignificant and pointless by comparison… feeling. The woman who answered the phone said to me, "You were raped two years ago? We have people who are in crisis *now*." And she didn’t help; it was pretty bad.
-Doug
Response:
email me if you want to talk – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Still don’t know what I’m going to do. Three days until they process the paper work on the old job (curtains.) I know this is stupid redundancy but I wish things would just go back to where there were. May call the crisis line today just so I’ll have someone to talk to about this. Boy, I wish I had a significant other to talk to about this (a sympathetic one.) Still feeling like I’m in dreamworld and it could be the meds and the anxiety. Feeling a bit dull too (I’m only taking the benzo (Ativan) and not an antidepressant. Both my therapist and pdoc are out of town – this is bad timing. I thought I resolved this job issue but as you can see it is still up in the air and I know you guys think I’m being really wishy-washy. What I want to do is tell my new boss that I have anxiety issues. I’ve received mixed reviews about doing this (yes – from my therapist) and (no – from my pdoc.) My own insecurities are huge – tragically, they are driving me away from my options (i.e., new opportunities.) I don’t know quite where to turn – can’t believe I’m even thinking about calling the crisis line…..Wow MAC I need a large dose of something!
Response:
Hi Mac, Well it seems like Tuesday is your big day. What’s is going to be ? Stick with the present job or take the new job ? No matter what decision you make, and you will make one, you do need to work with a "good" psychiatrist and therapist on your anxiety disorder. Isn’t it funny how we subconsciously choose a path for our lives and we don’t realize why we chose that path until the road comes to an end and we must choose a new path. I can look at my own career choices and see how my personality (including my anxiety disorder) had a major impact on the path I have chosen. There’s nothing to be ashamed about. I am living who I am. I don’t have the urge to be anybody else. I am who I am. There’s a calming effect when I accept who I am. Be who you are Mac. Be nice to yourself this weekend. Tony
Response:
What I want to do is tell my new boss that I have anxiety issues. I’ve received mixed reviews about doing this (yes – from my therapist) and (no – from my pdoc.)
Not surprised that it’s the therapist who says yes and the doctor who says no. Your doctor is thinking about the longer-term ramifications of having this on your record and the negative impact public knowledge of this matter, which can legally be kept private, may have. Your therapist is probably more familiar with the players because you talk more to him or her, so her opinions are based on the situation as well as emotional content – be open, honest, etc. You used the word "want." You want to tell your boss. If you want to, I say go for it. They can’t fire you because of a disability and you may feel relieved. FWIW, my pdoc also tends to tell me not to mention my psychiatric problems. I typically mention them more often than he advises. - can’t believe I’m even thinking about calling the crisis line…..Wow MAC
Just to share one negative experience. I *once* called a crisis hotlie. It was the two year anniversary after I was raped and I was losing my mind, coming out of my skin, unbearable like I was dying feeling. The woman who answered the phone said to me, "You were raped two years ago? We have people who are in crisis *now*." And she didn’t help; it was pretty bad. I need a large dose of something!
Do you think the Ativan works for you? I found that Ativan didn’t work for me but Valium does. Just me, though. Jen
Response:
Still don’t know what I’m going to do. Three days until they process the paper work on the old job (curtains.) I know this is stupid redundancy but I wish things would just go back to where there were. May call the crisis line today just so I’ll have someone to talk to about this. Boy, I wish I had a significant other to talk to about this (a sympathetic one.) Still feeling like I’m in dreamworld and it could be the meds and the anxiety. Feeling a bit dull too (I’m only taking the benzo (Ativan) and not an antidepressant. Both my therapist and pdoc are out of town – this is bad timing. I thought I resolved this job issue but as you can see it is still up in the air and I know you guys think I’m being really wishy-washy. What I want to do is tell my new boss that I have anxiety issues. I’ve received mixed reviews about doing this (yes – from my therapist) and (no – from my pdoc.) My own insecurities are huge – tragically, they are driving me away from my options (i.e., new opportunities.) I don’t know quite where to turn – can’t believe I’m even thinking about calling the crisis line…..Wow MAC I need a large dose of something!
