Counseling after the fact?

Question:

Good answer, Janie. Thanks. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – We are about to file. She the joy is gone and she doesn’t love me. She says this is mostly because of her history of codependency and her inability to express herself. She plans to get some professional help but says she will seek it AFTER everything is settled. After the house is sold and everything is safely beyond repair, that is. Why then. Why not now? Know what, "dumpee"? The answer to your "why" question will never satisfy you. There is no answer GOOD ENOUGH to satisfy you, where you could say, "Oh! I see! That makes perfect sense, now I understand why she must leave me and break apart my world!". What answer could she possibly give that would make you understand and support her decision to leave you? So why keep looking for such an answer that won’t help you anyway? She’s leaving you BECAUSE she’s leaving you. A better question to me would seem to be, "What do I do now to put my world back together?". Good luck, and keep posting here. We have a lot of answers to that question. Janie

Response:

We are about to file. She the joy is gone and she doesn’t love me. She says this is mostly because of her history of codependency and her inability to express herself. She plans to get some professional help but says she will seek it AFTER everything is settled. After the house is sold and everything is safely beyond repair, that is. Why then. Why not now?

Response:

We are about to file. She the joy is gone and she doesn’t love me. She says this is mostly because of her history of codependency and her inability to express herself. She plans to get some professional help but says she will seek it AFTER everything is settled. After the house is sold and everything is safely beyond repair, that is. Why then. Why not now?

Cause she doesn’t want to work it out. Maybe she has someone else she wants to be with? Robert

Response:

We are about to file. She the joy is gone and she doesn’t love me. She says this is mostly because of her history of codependency and her inability to express herself. She plans to get some professional help but says she will seek it AFTER everything is settled. After the house is sold and everything is safely beyond repair, that is. Why then. Why not now?

No money in it for her then, CHUMP. Your own fault for thinking that LOOKING good and BEING good are one and the same. You had pussy blindness and it cost you. Idiot. Ray Gordon, GENIUS http://www.cybersheet.com/library.html

Response:

repair, that is. Why then. Why not now? Cause she doesn’t want to work it out. Maybe she has someone else she wants to be with?

Would you warn the guy that he’s getting a shitty woman? Or do you think she’s still a good woman after what she did to him? That somehow he deserved it maybe? Pathetic. Ray Gordon, GENIUS http://www.cybersheet.com/library.html

Response:

Say bugger off. She just wants to use you some more. Bitch comes to mind.

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – We are about to file. She the joy is gone and she doesn’t love me. She says this is mostly because of her history of codependency and her inability to express herself. She plans to get some professional help but says she will seek it AFTER everything is settled. After the house is sold and everything is safely beyond repair, that is. Why then. Why not now?

Response:

Have you asked HER this question? Sounds to me like she has her mind made up that (for some reason) she can’t personally move forward unless she is alone. Not knowing the full circumstances it is easy for me to say she is probably making a big mistake. Again… IF this is the "only" reason for her wanting a divorce. JA

Response:

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – repair, that is. Why then. Why not now? Cause she doesn’t want to work it out. Maybe she has someone else she wants to be with? Would you warn the guy that he’s getting a shitty woman? Or do you think she’s still a good woman after what she did to him? That somehow he deserved it maybe? Pathetic. Ray Gordon, GENIUS

(To avoid seeing this message please filter it via the name "ADVISORY") The previous post was made by "Ray Gordon", real name Gordon Roy Parker. Be aware this individual is known to be extremely disruptive in the newsgroups he visits. He makes high volumes of posts sometimes in excess of 60 posts in 24 hours. His actions include: - being deliberately offensive, inflamatory, provocative and antagonistic - spamming Usenet with advertisements for his website and products - making accusations and claims of conspiracies, insisting he has proof, but not providing any - threatening people with lawsuits and litigation on an almost DAILY BASIS. He has threatened people with legal action literally hundreds, perhaps thousands, of times. (In eight years he only actually sued one person from Usenet. While seeking thousands of dollars in judgement, he eventually accepted a $250 settlement offer) - claiming he is in contact with numerous law enforcement agencies and that action against his detractors is imminent and will be "beyond their imagination". (Nothing has materialized after 8 years) - contradicting himself and lying - claiming he was Jesus in a past life Some individuals have also reported being harassed by him offline, with complaints being sent to the abuse department of their ISP’s or having their employers contacted by phone. Mr Parker is known to be 35 years old and living with his mother. * * * Ray shows symptoms of the following illnesses: - Narcissistic Personality Disorder see diagnostic criteria : http://www.psychologynet.org/npd.html - Bi-polar Disorder (also called manic-depression) see diagnostic criteria: http://www.psychologynet.org/bipolar1.html NOTE: Ray has stated he is indeed Bi-polar. - Obsessive-Compulsive personality disorder see diagnostic criteria: http://www.psychologynet.org/ocdp.html * * * New readers are encouraged to familiarize themselves with Ray’s posting history, opinions and mental illness. Be sure to check out www.Ray-Gordon.com and click the "RayFaq" button on the top left. The site contains many of his archived posts. The site is NOT affiliated with "Ray", who’s real name is Gordon Roy Parker, and he has made numerous threats of legal action against it. * * * Some other quotes from "Ray Gordon": "There was no significant loss of life in those towers… NOT A ONE" Ray Gordon, real name: Gordon Roy Parker, September 11 2001 "A bunch of *ASSHOLE* New Yorkers died… don’t grieve" Ray Gordon, real name: Gordon Roy Parker, September 11 2001 And of course: " … I’ve warned people not to link to that site! " Ray Gordon in reference to www.Ray-Gordon.com * * * Has "Ray" given you the impression that he runs a successful, profitable business? Or that he commands expensive fees for his work? Then you may be interested to know that he can’t even afford to pay his taxes. The IRS filed a tax lien of OVER TWELVE THOUSAND DOLLARS against him and his Mom (whom he lives with) which they STILL haven’t been able to pay off AFTER SIX YEARS. You can view the official document HERE: (cut and paste the ENTIRE link onto a single line in your browser – will require two separate pastes to get both lines onto single browser line) http://dns2.phila.gov:8080/fjd/owa/zk_fjd_public_qry_03.zp_dktrp t_frames?case_id=970620114

Response:

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – We are about to file. She the joy is gone and she doesn’t love me. She says this is mostly because of her history of codependency and her inability to express herself. She plans to get some professional help but says she will seek it AFTER everything is settled. After the house is sold and everything is safely beyond repair, that is. Why then. Why not now? No money in it for her then, CHUMP. Your own fault for thinking that LOOKING good and BEING good are one and the same. You had pussy blindness and it cost you. Idiot. Ray Gordon, GENIUS

(To avoid seeing this message please filter it via the name "ADVISORY") The previous post was made by "Ray Gordon", real name Gordon Roy Parker. Be aware this individual is known to be extremely disruptive in the newsgroups he visits. He makes high volumes of posts sometimes in excess of 60 posts in 24 hours. His actions include: - being deliberately offensive, inflamatory, provocative and antagonistic - spamming Usenet with advertisements for his website and products - making accusations and claims of conspiracies, insisting he has proof, but not providing any - threatening people with lawsuits and litigation on an almost DAILY BASIS. He has threatened people with legal action literally hundreds, perhaps thousands, of times. (In eight years he only actually sued one person from Usenet. While seeking thousands of dollars in judgement, he eventually accepted a $250 settlement offer) - claiming he is in contact with numerous law enforcement agencies and that action against his detractors is imminent and will be "beyond their imagination". (Nothing has materialized after 8 years) - contradicting himself and lying - claiming he was Jesus in a past life Some individuals have also reported being harassed by him offline, with complaints being sent to the abuse department of their ISP’s or having their employers contacted by phone. Mr Parker is known to be 35 years old and living with his mother. * * * Ray shows symptoms of the following illnesses: - Narcissistic Personality Disorder see diagnostic criteria : http://www.psychologynet.org/npd.html - Bi-polar Disorder (also called manic-depression) see diagnostic criteria: http://www.psychologynet.org/bipolar1.html NOTE: Ray has stated he is indeed Bi-polar. - Obsessive-Compulsive personality disorder see diagnostic criteria: http://www.psychologynet.org/ocdp.html * * * New readers are encouraged to familiarize themselves with Ray’s posting history, opinions and mental illness. Be sure to check out www.Ray-Gordon.com and click the "RayFaq" button on the top left. The site contains many of his archived posts. The site is NOT affiliated with "Ray", who’s real name is Gordon Roy Parker, and he has made numerous threats of legal action against it. * * * Some other quotes from "Ray Gordon": "There was no significant loss of life in those towers… NOT A ONE" Ray Gordon, real name: Gordon Roy Parker, September 11 2001 "A bunch of *ASSHOLE* New Yorkers died… don’t grieve" Ray Gordon, real name: Gordon Roy Parker, September 11 2001 And of course: " … I’ve warned people not to link to that site! " Ray Gordon in reference to www.Ray-Gordon.com * * * Has "Ray" given you the impression that he runs a successful, profitable business? Or that he commands expensive fees for his work? Then you may be interested to know that he can’t even afford to pay his taxes. The IRS filed a tax lien of OVER TWELVE THOUSAND DOLLARS against him and his Mom (whom he lives with) which they STILL haven’t been able to pay off AFTER SIX YEARS. You can view the official document HERE: (cut and paste the ENTIRE link onto a single line in your browser – will require two separate pastes to get both lines onto single browser line) http://dns2.phila.gov:8080/fjd/owa/zk_fjd_public_qry_03.zp_dktrp t_frames?case_id=970620114

Response:

Sounds like she understands SHE has problems and she wants to end this chapter of her life with you, and then work on her personal issues. Doing it now, would mean she had some hope for the both of you. It’s hard to hear "I don’t love you", and sometimes it’s harder to accept that it is true. We so don’t want to believe it when we still love. Once you get to acceptance you can begin to build a life for yourself. Been there. It hurts terribly, but honestly, you will endure and survive. Much luck to you. Pamela

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – We are about to file. She the joy is gone and she doesn’t love me. She says this is mostly because of her history of codependency and her inability to express herself. She plans to get some professional help but says she will seek it AFTER everything is settled. After the house is sold and everything is safely beyond repair, that is. Why then. Why not now?

Response:

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