my posts
Question:
Do my posts seem schizophrenic? do they seem obsessive-compulsive, but not to the extreme degree of Daniel Urtiz?[1] do i analyze my navel too often? Just curious how schizo i am or am not. I’m fixing[2] to go to the state for meds, so i got appear to nutty for a few days. i need those meds bad. am i sick enough for inpatient? i honestly want to go to the funny farm for some R&R for a few days. i’m afraid they’ll pump me full of old school thorazine and do electroshock. can u believe they still do the shock treatments? scary stuff. never act depressed, they’ll hit you with those crazy treatments. just act like a good schizo and chomp down on the delicious meds. sometimes i catch myself saying some bizzare ****. Regards, M. [1] Daniel Urtiz aka the Sexiest Man in Florida [2] for you non-rednecks, fixing to means going to
Response:
> sometimes i catch myself saying some bizzare ****.
i was not referring to my post, which is fairly sane and plain. but i’ve caught myself having bad thought derailment in conversations. i don’t get the cool visuals that some sz do, instead i’m left with this boring paranoia, monotone voices, and general sense of impending doom. sagan asked something interesting in the _Dragons of Eden_. Why are the majority of sz depressed and down on life? I think it’s partially the social stigma and the potential for not meeting life goals. i think sagan overlooked the dream factor and took a purely scientific approach. i have to take LSD to get cool visuals. even then a couple of hits of acid hardly does much. i get more whacked off MDMA (ecstasy). X is good stuff, i could eat that all day. i feel like i’m on top of the world. but i get a little whack. i’ve never been the same since eating 8 pills in one night. now i have to gobble down an equal amount of zyprexa to be halfway-normal. so bring on the cool visuals, i’m ready for the next stage of my demise. M.
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>I still have some > "violent thoughts", but I guess that’s normal for the world that we live > in, ‘ey?!!
So true. I know some supposedly sane people filled with rage. I grew up with minor fighting at school and at home. A lot of people are filled with rage it’s simply the "mass of men are filled with quiet desperation" except some folks aren’t quiet. angst and frustration leads to this, that’s why creative outlets, goals, and general relaxation are so important. for me, smoking the pipe keeps me from whacking out inner-city youths who cut in front of me in the movie line. i still yell at people when i feel like it’s my god given right to do so, and that they’ve infringed upon my liberty. lock up the crazy man, he’s actually sticking up for himself. I personally have some impulse control issues. something i need to work on. i’ve considered rage-a-holics if such a group really exists. i can certainly relate to your 7.62 FMJ comments. Regards, M. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> <chesucat twitches>
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you seem like a perfectly normal maddite to me. if you want to appear worse than you are, just act like you were when you were worse off i enjoy your post. i had to killfile daniel whatever that means i guess i mean you have a better grasp on things
Response:
"M." <n…@none.com> wrote in message
news:2YjGc.9249$yy1.308@newsread2.news.atl.earthlink.net… > Just curious how schizo i am or am not. I’m fixing[2] to go to the > state for meds, so i got appear to nutty for a few days. i need those > meds bad.
If your approaching the state (voluntarily) just be careful when they start asking you questions because they will be expecting to hear the "right anwsers" before you can rest "comfortably". > am i sick enough for inpatient? i honestly want to go for some R&R for
a few days. Everyone needs a vacation, just don’t let them try and keep you once they’ve got their claws into you. "IT’S MEDICATION TIME ! ~P
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My flats carpet gets ‘heatwaves’, and things disappear and appear in peripheral vision. It isn’t that cool, it makes you feel real fragile. When I’m in bad company, like with people surrounded by demon spirits, I acn ’see’ the demons in the heatwaves. (My left brain says it’s just a ventral/dorsal ‘malfunction’ in my jallopy brain, but my right brain says: Fuck, demons!). And sometimes I become a demon because I believe that sometimes, you just have to fight evil with evil! But I have learned that if you can understand evil, and how it works, ie/ it is basically lust for power over others in mind body and soul, then you can deconstuct it, demystify it, and defeat it. ( I think I read that somewhere?!?) Wierdly though, the demon I become will help friends out, like when me and two of my mates got mugged, one mate ran off, and the other was on the ground getting kicked, and I turned real BAD and ran at them punching and kicking. But they were five Maori’s, and I’m a skinny white guy, so naturally I got pounded. But I got a few good kicks and punches in when the cops arrived. B ut then the cops just thought I was part of a streetfight and wasn’t mugged, because of how bad I was behaving towards them (the cops, calling them emotionless and cold, and cunts) and the muggers who I was physically and verbally harassing, because of the demon. But it was all I could do to remain strong in mind.
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -M. wrote: > Do my posts seem schizophrenic? do they seem obsessive-compulsive, but > not to the extreme degree of Daniel Urtiz?[1] do i analyze my navel too > often? > Just curious how schizo i am or am not. I’m fixing[2] to go to the > state for meds, so i got appear to nutty for a few days. i need those > meds bad. > am i sick enough for inpatient? i honestly want to go to the funny farm > for some R&R for a few days. i’m afraid they’ll pump me full of old > school thorazine and do electroshock. can u believe they still do the > shock treatments? scary stuff. never act depressed, they’ll hit you > with those crazy treatments. just act like a good schizo and chomp down > on the delicious meds. > sometimes i catch myself saying some bizzare ****. > Regards, > M. > [1] Daniel Urtiz aka the Sexiest Man in Florida > [2] for you non-rednecks, fixing to means going to
Your posts sound sensible, and you seem almost like a normo. If I read your messages on another newsgroup I wouldn’t say you were sz. Hope that helps. Given my insane tax debt, which is almost a year’s wages now, coworkers have been encouraging me to declare bankruptcy, and one coworker has even said I could get out of working altogether if I just told my psychiatrist that work is too stressful. My jurisdiction has rather generous benefits for someone who is disabled from all work, either for physical or mental reasons–about $1,800 a month in non-taxable cash plus free medication and some free dental. But I don’t feel like ripping off the system. dM
Response:
Hi M, "M." <n…@none.com> wrote in message <news:2YjGc.9249$yy1.308@newsread2.news.atl.earthlink.net>… > Do my posts seem schizophrenic? do they seem obsessive-compulsive, but > not to the extreme degree of Daniel Urtiz?[1] do i analyze my navel too > often?
What is normal? What is schizo? Understimulation and overstimulation is bad for a schizo, makes them fall apart, does that ring a bell? > Just curious how schizo i am or am not. I’m fixing[2] to go to the > state for meds, so i got appear to nutty for a few days. i need those > meds bad. > am i sick enough for inpatient? i honestly want to go to the funny farm > for some R&R for a few days. i’m afraid they’ll pump me full of old > school thorazine and do electroshock. can u believe they still do the > shock treatments? scary stuff. never act depressed, they’ll hit you > with those crazy treatments. just act like a good schizo and chomp down > on the delicious meds.
Maybe better check www.schizophrenia.com for self-diagnozis. If you say you hear voices in your head and that television programs are made especially for you and you can talk to the television and they answer you…. you have a good chance they will give you the stigma sz. Once you have the stigma it never goes away, whatever you do. And once you start with the meds there is no way back too. Even normal people who have taken sz meds for a couple of years can’t do without them anymore… if they stop …. well they end up in an institution with psychotic symptoms. > sometimes i catch myself saying some bizzare ****.
It is rather bizar to want to be diagnozed sz i think – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Regards, > M. > [1] Daniel Urtiz aka the Sexiest Man in Florida > [2] for you non-rednecks, fixing to means going to
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(Debaser) My flats carpet gets ‘heatwaves’, and things disappear and appear in peripheral vision. It isn’t that cool, it makes you feel real fragile. When I’m in bad company, like with people surrounded by demon spirits, I acn ’see’ the (Damo) I call it waves. I see waves on rugs and curtains. Rooms can be mishappened. Sometimes the floors slant downwards towards wherever I am sitting or standing. I have a few non-corporeals myself but I’m not inclined to discus that for the moment. You get flimsy little clouds drifting around, often within your perifeal vision? Maybe three or four feet tall? http://community.webtv.net/damodara/MystoryasIseeit
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> Your posts sound sensible, and you seem almost like a normo. If I read > your messages on another newsgroup I wouldn’t say you were sz. Hope > that helps.
They say it’s called reality testing. If you socialize a lot, then your comments are judged for sanity by others. I think I got a little isolated when I got depressed, which may have led to shizophrenia. Perhaps I have a mild version of it. > Given my insane tax debt, which is almost a year’s wages now, coworkers > have been encouraging me to declare bankruptcy, and one coworker has > even said I could get out of working altogether if I just told my > psychiatrist that work is too stressful. My jurisdiction has rather > generous benefits for someone who is disabled from all work, either for > physical or mental reasons–about $1,800 a month in non-taxable cash > plus free medication and some free dental. But I don’t feel like > ripping off the system. > dM
I think the top SSI benefit in the U.S. is $600 to $800. But I don’t know much about it. Perhaps if you work 20 years at $100 k or something, maybe the benefit is higher. To get the benefit, I’d have to not work a year and then prove I can’t work. I suspect I am a borderline case and they’d prefer that I work. I am approaching the state about meds, that will save me $300 per month but unfortunately miss a few hours of work for visits. I have debt (non income tax debt) which is equivalent to one year’s salary after taxes, and I too have pondered bankruptcy. I think I’m going to hang in there and try to pay it off. M.
Response:
hi all if i become ‘disabled’ i would get about $1300 a month, because i have worked 26 years and decent pay. i think it depends on how much you work and what you make. i had to declare bankruptcy. it was a good thing. i do not feel like i was ripping anyone off. i became more incapacitated with my anxiety and could no longer work anywhere near the 40 hour weeks i was working. it helped a great deal , and it also relieved me of some excess anxiety about money take care all
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Charon926 wrote: > hi all > if i become ‘disabled’ i would get about $1300 a month, because i have worked > 26 years and decent pay. i think it depends on how much you work and what you > make.
I have only worked about 7 years cause I was in school for a while. I think my SS statement said something like $800 a month if i get disabled. Perhaps I’m mistaken. > i had to declare bankruptcy. it was a good thing. i do not feel like i was > ripping anyone off. i became more incapacitated with my anxiety and could no > longer work anywhere near the 40 hour weeks i was working. > it helped a great deal , and it also relieved me of some excess anxiety about > money
I’m sorry about the bankruptcy. I’m about one year, 2 months of salary in debt. I could work 2 jobs and probably clean it up. Right now I’m living cheap and just trying to pay it off. I just lost my most recent job. Sometimes things seem hopeless. I think the money may have affected your sz, cause money issues have certainly affected my emotions. Oh well, at worst I figure I declare bankruptcy. But then I’m concerned about being rejected on apartment applications. I did it to myself though, I was not in debt in mid 2002 and I piled on debt continuously until mid 2003. In one year, I really trashed things. Such is life. Sometimes I think being homeless and eating in soup kitchens would be a simpler life. M. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> take care all
Response:
M. wrote: > They say it’s called reality testing. If you socialize a lot, then your > comments are judged for sanity by others. I think I got a little > isolated when I got depressed, which may have led to shizophrenia. > Perhaps I have a mild version of it.
There are more flavours of sz than there are of Haagen Dasz, but I’ve never heard of sz arising from depression. I had a theory once that masturbation causes schizophrenia because it’s practice at detachment from reality. > I think the top SSI benefit in the U.S. is $600 to $800. But I don’t > know much about it. Perhaps if you work 20 years at $100 k or > something, maybe the benefit is higher. To get the benefit, I’d have to > not work a year and then prove I can’t work. I suspect I am a > borderline case and they’d prefer that I work. I am approaching the > state about meds, that will save me $300 per month but unfortunately > miss a few hours of work for visits.
In Canada, the federal disability pension is extremely difficult to get and depends on your contribution history. It’s quite small, much like your SSI. There are provincial ("state") benefits regimes that depend on the recipient’s situation. General welfare (social assistance) for able-bodied single people is about $600 a month–enough for a room in a rooming house and some cheap food, but that’s about it. Parents with small kids or disabled people get "family benefits", which is well over $1,000 a month. I think, on family benefits, it’s possible to rent a small apartment and enjoy a few minor pleasures. But I’ve never been comfortable in the camel-sales environment of seeking money from the state. It’s much easier for me to hold down a job. > I have debt (non income tax debt) which is equivalent to one year’s > salary after taxes, and I too have pondered bankruptcy. I think I’m > going to hang in there and try to pay it off.
There seem to be three kinds of debt a person can get into. One is periodic debt, such as credit cards, where you make a relatively small payment each month and everybody is happy–and in fact, the lender is happier than if you paid the whole thing off, because he gets to continue collecting interest. The second is immediate debt, such as back taxes, when they want all of their money right now, but will use lawful recourse to get it. The third is borrowing money from Luigi the Loanshark, who will smash your kneecaps if you don’t pay him in full. I have none of the third type of debt and manageably small amounts of the first, but the second is what’s killing me. Flato
