advice about a 3 year old
Question:
I am concerned about my niece (who has just turned three). Some of her behaviour seems somewhat obsessive. For example: * She can’t stand having anything that doesn’t belong in her room in her room (eg her brother’s toys). She throws them out the door. * My sister-in-law said that when she had a bath yesterday she arranged all the toys and objects around the bath so that they were all facing the right way and ordered. * Her doona is her security blanket. (Since she was a baby). It has a multi-coloured frill but she always holds the yellow part of the frill in her fist and sucks her thumb. It is always the yellow part. * She has to have about half a dozen of her toys and belongings in her bed at night. * I noticed when she was younger (i haven’t noticed it recently) that she couldn’t stand having a mess on her hands. Does this indicate that she could have some sort of obsessive disorder? How young can it start? I am feeling worried about her. I don’t think her parents can see that there is anything wrong but I am feeling worried about her. Thankyou for any advice you can give. I would greatly appreciate it. A very concerned auntie………….
Response:
On Wed, 3 Mar 1999 22:18:37 -0000, "pearlygates" <fires…@ix.net.au> wrote: >Does this indicate that she could have some sort of obsessive disorder? How >young can it start? I am feeling worried about her. >I don’t think her parents can see that there is anything wrong but I am >feeling worried about her.
Sounds like an intelligent cutie to me.
Response:
Hey there concerned auntie, I don’t know much about kids but that behavior doesn’t like OCD to me really – it sounds like normal things kids go through. When my nephews where young they all did similar stuff – kids are weird! And they are all ‘normal’ young men in their 20’s now. It is good to be concerned but being overly concerned can create problems where they might not exist. If your niece is generally happy and ‘normal’ I wouldn’t be too concerned about OCD. Talk with her parents about your concerns. Others will probably have better advice. Though are just my thoughts. pearlygates wrote: > Does this indicate that she could have some sort of obsessive disorder? How > young can it start? I am feeling worried about her. > I don’t think her parents can see that there is anything wrong but I am > feeling worried about her. > Thankyou for any advice you can give. I would greatly appreciate it.
– Monkey http://pages.hotbot.com/health/sillychickens/ mon…@gilligansisland.net (to email me axe ‘gilligans’) —
Response:
Hi Pearly, pearlygates wrote: > I am concerned about my niece (who has just turned three). Some of her > behaviour seems somewhat obsessive. For example: > * She can’t stand having anything that doesn’t belong in her room in her > room (eg her brother’s toys). She throws them out the door.
Only her brothers toys? My 3 year old throws her 8 year old brother out. (sook that he is) > * My sister-in-law said that when she had a bath yesterday she arranged all > the toys and objects around the bath so that they were all facing the right > way and ordered.
Perfectly normal. It shows awareness of her surroundings and a healthy urge to create order and harmony. My kids do this and I would spend hours lining up my toys in the living room as a kid. I’m a slob now and couldn’t care less. I still have toys though, only more expensive. > * Her doona is her security blanket. (Since she was a baby). It has a > multi-coloured frill but she always holds the yellow part of the frill in > her fist and sucks her thumb. It is always the yellow part.
This is definitely not a problem and is a pet subject of mine. It’s called a transitional object. A major part of her psyche and should not be taken away. My son has a toy panda as his. I suspected him of being ADD until I let him take Panda to school and he settled down quick as a wink. Now he has carte-blanche to take it any where he likes. As we grow we discard such obvious objects for more subtle ones but we all use them at some times in our lives. They function as a source of security while we change or grow. Growth goes in spurts, as a result of a build up of psychic energy that gives rise to changes in behaviour and thinking. Psychologists call this a ‘transition’. I lost a transitional object at age 9 and it caused all sorts of traumas that impeded my emotional development. I suspect I lost another at 17 which caused further screw ups. Make sure she gets to keep her blanket until she voluntarily lets it go, which might be years. I bet she looks cute with it. If you are worried that she still has it when she goes to school she will probably be ok leaving it in her locker, just knowing it is nearby and safe should be enough reassurance for her, especially if her parents and teachers are supportive of it. > * She has to have about half a dozen of her toys and belongings in her bed > at night.
Yep, quite normal. I used to have a game where I rescued all my toys from the cupboard because my bedroom was flooding. I wouldn’t sleep until they were all safely aboard. My kids have their beds stuffed with toys too. They have there own little world, their toys are real people as far as they are concerned. My son and daughter act out all sorts of relationships using their toys. I did too, each of my toys had a personality and role in my fantasy land. Better to let them experiment now than to use real people later on. > * I noticed when she was younger (i haven’t noticed it recently) that she > couldn’t stand having a mess on her hands.
Now she won’t stay clean? Normal. > Does this indicate that she could have some sort of obsessive disorder? How
I doubt it. > young can it start? I am feeling worried about her. > I don’t think her parents can see that there is anything wrong but I am > feeling worried about her. > Thankyou for any advice you can give. I would greatly appreciate it. > A very concerned auntie………….
Don’t be, she seems like a perfectly normal kid to me. Have fun with her and don’t forget the blanket. Regards, Trevor
