Caution!! Language Alert!! This is a *Vent*!!!!!
Question:
I totally agree with you Liz. Alan sounds like he has a lot going for him. He just has to believe in himself and be willing to try new things and to use his skills in new ways.
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – The last 24 hours have been absoulutely like shit!!!! I hate days like this. It is very frustrating. Be gentle with yourself today, then tomorrow you can begin digging through the pile and find solutions. You are doing plenty for your family, Alan. You are doing good work at your job, too. You might think of signing up to be a substitute teacher in the fall, since you are so good with kids. Here in Maine, a rather poor state, we tend to do several small jobs to make up our yearly income and it does seem to work. I think there are more people that live on this type of patchwork income in Maine, than people who have a regular job. I guess that what I am saying is that if you are just given lemons, make lemonade…lol. You can teach music lessons part time, grow a garden, hire out to help teach people how to use their computers, …the choices are unlimited while you are waiting for the right job to come along. Sending you lots and lots of peace! Take care, Liz
Response:
That sounds like a good idea. Exercise is always good when you’re feeling stressed out I hope the weather there is nice!
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – The last 24 hours have been absoulutely like shit!!!! SNIP I found the $100. WHEW!! It was in my pants pocket the whole time. I must have checked it at least 20 or more times. I just didn’t do a thorough enough search. <g The xanax has kicked in and I’m feeling not quite so PO’d about the whole thing. Tomorrow we’re all going to get on our bikes and ride somewhere, just to be nice to ourselves. Cheryl says she’s too old for a bike, but I’ve had her bike in the basement, all the bearings repacked and the wheels trued for the last 3 years. Tomorrow is her first time in that many years to ride. Ted’s bike is also in great condition, I just have to raise the seat a few cm’s. My bike? It works as good as ever. I can also take it all apart, clean it, fix and tweak it, and it’s race ready, which is more than I can say about the piece of cast iron on 4 wheels in my driveway. Boy, am I glad I kept my road bike all these years. It’ll give me transportation for a 20 to 30 Km radius while the weather’s good. Paint job looks like crap and 10 speeds are out of style today, so I can can lock it up and most would be bike-thiefs would pass it over for a mountain bike worth about a third of what mine is. Spring has finally arrived!!! Sunday is Mother’s Day and also our 22th wedding anniversary, so we’ll all go to someplace even if it’s just for some ice cream. Cycling’s good exercise for all of us. We don’t have a public bus system. City hall is looking into proposals and we all know what that means. With luck, within 2-3 years they will have a plan, just in time for their election campaigns. 
))) Alan B. If you want my real email, remove all the *’s.
Response:
SNIP Hi Alan. Sorry for not responding sooner. Sounds like you have been having hard times. Thank God that the fire wasn’t serious. I guess when using all appliances that we have to be careful.
Luckily I got to it before the fire started, just by a hair. Embers were glowing. Luckiy there’s a fire extinguisher in the kitchen. I didn’t have to use it. I just grabded the tray and threw it into the sink. It’s hard to be without a car but there must be bus and taxi transportation in PEI. Get copies of the schedules so that you are familiar with the pickups and drop off times.
Taxi’s YES, Buses NO 
(((((((((( There is a van that the CMHA runs as a bus for it’s members. $1.00 a ride, but it runs at odd times. Luckily the owner of the school picks me up and drives me home on rotten days. The rest I get 2 20 minute bike rides each day. That is what the government programs are for. Sign up for anything and everything. Don’t be shy about it. We had to go through that too. At some point your taxes put into the same system that is helping you. Those GST’s and provincial taxes are awfully hefty-aren’t the taxes for the citizens???
Don’t get me started on taxes. They’re high and we should be getting more services rather than less. I really don’t know what else to tell you except that we all have our share of hard times Alan. Only different circumstances but we all seem to get through them, and much stronger too.
I’ve come to accept that. I hope that you will have a better week ahead. Much better now. Take care, Julie
Thanks, Al Alan B. If you want my real email, remove all the *’s.
Response:
Thanks everyone for your wishes on our Anniversary. Due to a busted brake cable we’re putting off the long ride untill next Sunday. Since it’s a bike repair, I’ll just get the cable tomorrow and have it up and running 15 minutes after coming home from work. It will also allow Cheryl and Ted to develop some endurance during the next week with daily rides near home. The jury is still out on what to do next. Should I, (we), move and start over again somewhere else? Starting over again in your mid fourties is a hard thing to do. But if it has to be done to save our, (my), sanity, and I’m offered something, I don’t think it would take much convincing for me. Cheryl is starting to come around and Ted is really very stressed out by the situation we’re in here. How do you tell your 14 year old that we might have to move 3000 miles away and for him to not worry about it? We’ll just have to keep him in the loop the whole time and just accept the cards we’ve been dealt. I just have this nagging thought that nothing’s going to work and the marriage may breakup because of bad decisions made in the past. It’s just not a good weekend for us. Alan B. If you want my real email, remove all the *’s.
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – The last 24 hours have been absoulutely like shit!!!! I almost started a fire in the house last night because I had our toaster oven on for too gawd damn long!! Caught it in time. No flames. Just a lot of smoke and a toaster oven to clean and check out the electronics. It’s suffered no damage, except for smoke. Works fine now. Electronics OK too. I think I lost a hundred dollar bill this morning. I also had to have my car towed to a service station to get it’s annual inspection, where I was told that my car was not worth the money it would take to bring it up to spec! New floor, brakes, etc. from them and a few hundred more for other stuff. Cost?! More than what the fucking thing is damn well worth!!! My bike in the trunk to ride back home on is worth more than the bloody car!!! We’re on financial assistance for meds, and then what I bring home from my temp job!!! It just seems everything is caving in on me at once. Job ends at the end of June. Back on full financial assistance then, I guess!!! I’ve finally had to accept the point that we’re poor and will continue to be so for the rest of our lives. University education in music, not worth a damn. College education in computers, worth something, but there’s no IT jobs available in PEI. Period. Why is my life so shitty!? I’ve sent out resumes like crazy, and can offer employers 100% government funding for my salary for up to a year. Still no bites. So, I’m here back at home, regreting all the wrong mistakes I’ve made in my so called career and feel like shit. My wife and son both have mental disorders like myself. But there are no full time jobs available in this little piss hole excuse for a province. There are positions listed in the Sat paper for working up north in the Alberta oil fields. Maybe it’s time to just wave bye-bye to PEI and hello to Alberta oil fields!! My whole life is shit right now!! Damn it. I WANT A JOB AND A LIFE WITHOUT HAVING TO GO TO HEROIC MEASURES JUST TO SURVIVE!!! I’ve taken my xanax on time and at the right dosage, except I put the 1/2 a tablet under my tongue 30+ minutes ago. I still feel like shit. I am not feeling suicidal, I just want to get a life that isn’t so damn hard. I don’t see others strungling so damn hard and are able to afford a car that works and have a decent house to live in. Here I struggle to keep up our half of a duplex that we own. The other half is owned by someone who appears to have OCD. Vacuums at least 2 times a day and has no visitors. But thats another story!! And a damn long too!!! I want out, yet I don’t. I want to move to where jobs are, but PEI is a safe place to raise a child. I don’t know what I want!! I do want to go and curl up into a ball, cry and tell the world to take a hike. Leave me alone. There’s nothing I can do to help my family let alone myself, so just leave me alone!! Yesterday morning started so good and turned to shit in a period of 24+ hours. This afternoon we must walk to the Co-op Grocery store, get our groceries and then taxi home. I’ll force every foot step. If you want to respond, fine. If you don’t want to respond, fine. I probably wouldn’t respond to a letter like this right now either. Please let me live a life where every inch isn’t a struggle to take!!! I had over a thousand posts in Agent to read today, but I’ve just deleted them all. I just can’t help others, if I can’t help myself. Today I want to be a *Weasel* to just be able to go and find somewhere to hide, but my signature still reads Alan. Alan B. If you want my real email, remove all the *’s.
Hi Alan. Sorry for not responding sooner. Sounds like you have been having hard times. Thank God that the fire wasn’t serious. I guess when using all appliances that we have to be careful. It’s hard to be without a car but there must be bus and taxi transportation in PEI. Get copies of the schedules so that you are familiar with the pickups and drop off times. My kids wouldn’t know how to take a taxi…They never had. Neither a bus either. They are even afraid to "walk"…. That is what the government programs are for. Sign up for anything and everything. Don’t be shy about it. We had to go through that too. At some point your taxes put into the same system that is helping you. Those GST’s and provincial taxes are awfully hefty-aren’t the taxes for the citizens??? I really don’t know what else to tell you except that we all have our share of hard times Alan. Only different circumstances but we all seem to get through them, and much stronger too. I hope that you will have a better week ahead. Take care, Julie
Response:
Happy Anniversary to you and Cheryl. Have a happy bike ride tomorrow! Take care, Liz – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – The last 24 hours have been absoulutely like shit!!!! SNIP I found the $100. WHEW!! It was in my pants pocket the whole time. I must have checked it at least 20 or more times. I just didn’t do a thorough enough search. <g The xanax has kicked in and I’m feeling not quite so PO’d about the whole thing. Tomorrow we’re all going to get on our bikes and ride somewhere, just to be nice to ourselves. Cheryl says she’s too old for a bike, but I’ve had her bike in the basement, all the bearings repacked and the wheels trued for the last 3 years. Tomorrow is her first time in that many years to ride. Ted’s bike is also in great condition, I just have to raise the seat a few cm’s. My bike? It works as good as ever. I can also take it all apart, clean it, fix and tweak it, and it’s race ready, which is more than I can say about the piece of cast iron on 4 wheels in my driveway. Boy, am I glad I kept my road bike all these years. It’ll give me transportation for a 20 to 30 Km radius while the weather’s good. Paint job looks like crap and 10 speeds are out of style today, so I can can lock it up and most would be bike-thiefs would pass it over for a mountain bike worth about a third of what mine is. Spring has finally arrived!!! Sunday is Mother’s Day and also our 22th wedding anniversary, so we’ll all go to someplace even if it’s just for some ice cream. Cycling’s good exercise for all of us. We don’t have a public bus system. City hall is looking into proposals and we all know what that means. With luck, within 2-3 years they will have a plan, just in time for their election campaigns. ))) Alan B. If you want my real email, remove all the *’s.
Response:
Hi Alan, I knew you’d find the $100. I found my sunglasses recently, in their case. Happy Cycling, Meryl
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – The last 24 hours have been absoulutely like shit!!!! SNIP I found the $100. WHEW!! It was in my pants pocket the whole time. I must have checked it at least 20 or more times. I just didn’t do a thorough enough search. <g The xanax has kicked in and I’m feeling not quite so PO’d about the whole thing. Tomorrow we’re all going to get on our bikes and ride somewhere, just to be nice to ourselves. Cheryl says she’s too old for a bike, but I’ve had her bike in the basement, all the bearings repacked and the wheels trued for the last 3 years. Tomorrow is her first time in that many years to ride. Ted’s bike is also in great condition, I just have to raise the seat a few cm’s. My bike? It works as good as ever. I can also take it all apart, clean it, fix and tweak it, and it’s race ready, which is more than I can say about the piece of cast iron on 4 wheels in my driveway. Boy, am I glad I kept my road bike all these years. It’ll give me transportation for a 20 to 30 Km radius while the weather’s good. Paint job looks like crap and 10 speeds are out of style today, so I can can lock it up and most would be bike-thiefs would pass it over for a mountain bike worth about a third of what mine is. Spring has finally arrived!!! Sunday is Mother’s Day and also our 22th wedding anniversary, so we’ll all go to someplace even if it’s just for some ice cream. Cycling’s good exercise for all of us. We don’t have a public bus system. City hall is looking into proposals and we all know what that means. With luck, within 2-3 years they will have a plan, just in time for their election campaigns. ))) Alan B. If you want my real email, remove all the *’s.
Response:
It sounds to me like your biggest gripe is work related. Sure, it sucks having your car break down and it being very expensive to either fix or repair, but I get the impression you are mainly pissed off because you know you are smart enough to have a much more successful career. You say your life is "shitty" yet I’ll bet if you move elsewhere you won’t have any problems finding suitable work. There are lots of IT jobs out there. If there aren’t where you live, then move to wherever there are. Or set up your own consultancy or something. You have a qualification in something that is sought after in many parts of the world. There’s lots of things you can do. I’m guessing you live in Canada and I don’t know what your social security system is like, but why don’t you enquire about whether or not you qualify for some sort of financial scheme that helps you relocate to a different area where you would have better employment prospects?
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – The last 24 hours have been absoulutely like shit!!!! I almost started a fire in the house last night because I had our toaster oven on for too gawd damn long!! Caught it in time. No flames. Just a lot of smoke and a toaster oven to clean and check out the electronics. It’s suffered no damage, except for smoke. Works fine now. Electronics OK too. I think I lost a hundred dollar bill this morning. I also had to have my car towed to a service station to get it’s annual inspection, where I was told that my car was not worth the money it would take to bring it up to spec! New floor, brakes, etc. from them and a few hundred more for other stuff. Cost?! More than what the fucking thing is damn well worth!!! My bike in the trunk to ride back home on is worth more than the bloody car!!! We’re on financial assistance for meds, and then what I bring home from my temp job!!! It just seems everything is caving in on me at once. Job ends at the end of June. Back on full financial assistance then, I guess!!! I’ve finally had to accept the point that we’re poor and will continue to be so for the rest of our lives. University education in music, not worth a damn. College education in computers, worth something, but there’s no IT jobs available in PEI. Period. Why is my life so shitty!? I’ve sent out resumes like crazy, and can offer employers 100% government funding for my salary for up to a year. Still no bites. So, I’m here back at home, regreting all the wrong mistakes I’ve made in my so called career and feel like shit. My wife and son both have mental disorders like myself. But there are no full time jobs available in this little piss hole excuse for a province. There are positions listed in the Sat paper for working up north in the Alberta oil fields. Maybe it’s time to just wave bye-bye to PEI and hello to Alberta oil fields!! My whole life is shit right now!! Damn it. I WANT A JOB AND A LIFE WITHOUT HAVING TO GO TO HEROIC MEASURES JUST TO SURVIVE!!! I’ve taken my xanax on time and at the right dosage, except I put the 1/2 a tablet under my tongue 30+ minutes ago. I still feel like shit. I am not feeling suicidal, I just want to get a life that isn’t so damn hard. I don’t see others strungling so damn hard and are able to afford a car that works and have a decent house to live in. Here I struggle to keep up our half of a duplex that we own. The other half is owned by someone who appears to have OCD. Vacuums at least 2 times a day and has no visitors. But thats another story!! And a damn long too!!! I want out, yet I don’t. I want to move to where jobs are, but PEI is a safe place to raise a child. I don’t know what I want!! I do want to go and curl up into a ball, cry and tell the world to take a hike. Leave me alone. There’s nothing I can do to help my family let alone myself, so just leave me alone!! Yesterday morning started so good and turned to shit in a period of 24+ hours. This afternoon we must walk to the Co-op Grocery store, get our groceries and then taxi home. I’ll force every foot step. If you want to respond, fine. If you don’t want to respond, fine. I probably wouldn’t respond to a letter like this right now either. Please let me live a life where every inch isn’t a struggle to take!!! I had over a thousand posts in Agent to read today, but I’ve just deleted them all. I just can’t help others, if I can’t help myself. Today I want to be a *Weasel* to just be able to go and find somewhere to hide, but my signature still reads Alan. Alan B. If you want my real email, remove all the *’s.
Response:
Alan, relax today. Tomorrow will be a new day and you will work to make your life better. And eventually it will be alot better. That’s a fact. Chip
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – The last 24 hours have been absoulutely like shit!!!! I almost started a fire in the house last night because I had our toaster oven on for too gawd damn long!! Caught it in time. No flames. Just a lot of smoke and a toaster oven to clean and check out the electronics. It’s suffered no damage, except for smoke. Works fine now. Electronics OK too. I think I lost a hundred dollar bill this morning. I also had to have my car towed to a service station to get it’s annual inspection, where I was told that my car was not worth the money it would take to bring it up to spec! New floor, brakes, etc. from them and a few hundred more for other stuff. Cost?! More than what the fucking thing is damn well worth!!! My bike in the trunk to ride back home on is worth more than the bloody car!!! We’re on financial assistance for meds, and then what I bring home from my temp job!!! It just seems everything is caving in on me at once. Job ends at the end of June. Back on full financial assistance then, I guess!!! I’ve finally had to accept the point that we’re poor and will continue to be so for the rest of our lives. University education in music, not worth a damn. College education in computers, worth something, but there’s no IT jobs available in PEI. Period. Why is my life so shitty!? I’ve sent out resumes like crazy, and can offer employers 100% government funding for my salary for up to a year. Still no bites. So, I’m here back at home, regreting all the wrong mistakes I’ve made in my so called career and feel like shit. My wife and son both have mental disorders like myself. But there are no full time jobs available in this little piss hole excuse for a province. There are positions listed in the Sat paper for working up north in the Alberta oil fields. Maybe it’s time to just wave bye-bye to PEI and hello to Alberta oil fields!! My whole life is shit right now!! Damn it. I WANT A JOB AND A LIFE WITHOUT HAVING TO GO TO HEROIC MEASURES JUST TO SURVIVE!!! I’ve taken my xanax on time and at the right dosage, except I put the 1/2 a tablet under my tongue 30+ minutes ago. I still feel like shit. I am not feeling suicidal, I just want to get a life that isn’t so damn hard. I don’t see others strungling so damn hard and are able to afford a car that works and have a decent house to live in. Here I struggle to keep up our half of a duplex that we own. The other half is owned by someone who appears to have OCD. Vacuums at least 2 times a day and has no visitors. But thats another story!! And a damn long too!!! I want out, yet I don’t. I want to move to where jobs are, but PEI is a safe place to raise a child. I don’t know what I want!! I do want to go and curl up into a ball, cry and tell the world to take a hike. Leave me alone. There’s nothing I can do to help my family let alone myself, so just leave me alone!! Yesterday morning started so good and turned to shit in a period of 24+ hours. This afternoon we must walk to the Co-op Grocery store, get our groceries and then taxi home. I’ll force every foot step. If you want to respond, fine. If you don’t want to respond, fine. I probably wouldn’t respond to a letter like this right now either. Please let me live a life where every inch isn’t a struggle to take!!! I had over a thousand posts in Agent to read today, but I’ve just deleted them all. I just can’t help others, if I can’t help myself. Today I want to be a *Weasel* to just be able to go and find somewhere to hide, but my signature still reads Alan. Alan B. If you want my real email, remove all the *’s.
Response:
The last 24 hours have been absoulutely like shit!!!!
I hate days like this. It is very frustrating. Be gentle with yourself today, then tomorrow you can begin digging through the pile and find solutions. You are doing plenty for your family, Alan. You are doing good work at your job, too. You might think of signing up to be a substitute teacher in the fall, since you are so good with kids. Here in Maine, a rather poor state, we tend to do several small jobs to make up our yearly income and it does seem to work. I think there are more people that live on this type of patchwork income in Maine, than people who have a regular job. I guess that what I am saying is that if you are just given lemons, make lemonade…lol. You can teach music lessons part time, grow a garden, hire out to help teach people how to use their computers, …the choices are unlimited while you are waiting for the right job to come along. Sending you lots and lots of peace! Take care, Liz
Response:
:Yesterday morning started so good and turned to shit in a period of :24+ hours. Dear Alan, much as you believe that this bad time is going to last forever, it won`t. Good times don`t last forever and thank god neither do the bad times. It`s okay to have a day where you feel sorry for yourself and lick your wounds. But remember that tomorrow is a new day to start anew and sometimes the freshness of a new day can change our whole perspective on everything. Here`s hoping that tomorrow is a good one for you 
{{{{{Alan}}}}} Jackie ~~Life isn`t measured by the breathes you take, but what takes your breath away~~
Response:
Oh Alan, What a shitty day you have had! At least you know that there is absolutely no way that tomorrow can be worse. As for the work situation your wife might not appreciate me telling you this but in ‘97 my husband had the time of his life in Northern Alberta. He was working with a surveying company on the gas pipe line. Most of his workmates were from Nova Scotia or Newfies. The guy he worked with daily was from Sydney, NS. I still refer to Ian’s time at a place I affectionately called Camp Wabasca. His own room, own telly, much better food than he ever saw at home, helicopter rides every day. We didn’t see him at weeks at a time. In the meantime I was forcing myself to learn to drive again, and on the wrong side of the road. I won’t even talk about dealing with 3 kids and working full-time. When we returned to Oz he even suggested that he could stay on for a bit. He didn’t! Hope the $100 shows up. Isn’t it lucky you had your bike? Take care, Meryl
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – The last 24 hours have been absoulutely like shit!!!! I almost started a fire in the house last night because I had our toaster oven on for too gawd damn long!! Caught it in time. No flames. Just a lot of smoke and a toaster oven to clean and check out the electronics. It’s suffered no damage, except for smoke. Works fine now. Electronics OK too. I think I lost a hundred dollar bill this morning. I also had to have my car towed to a service station to get it’s annual inspection, where I was told that my car was not worth the money it would take to bring it up to spec! New floor, brakes, etc. from them and a few hundred more for other stuff. Cost?! More than what the fucking thing is damn well worth!!! My bike in the trunk to ride back home on is worth more than the bloody car!!! We’re on financial assistance for meds, and then what I bring home from my temp job!!! It just seems everything is caving in on me at once. Job ends at the end of June. Back on full financial assistance then, I guess!!! I’ve finally had to accept the point that we’re poor and will continue to be so for the rest of our lives. University education in music, not worth a damn. College education in computers, worth something, but there’s no IT jobs available in PEI. Period. Why is my life so shitty!? I’ve sent out resumes like crazy, and can offer employers 100% government funding for my salary for up to a year. Still no bites. So, I’m here back at home, regreting all the wrong mistakes I’ve made in my so called career and feel like shit. My wife and son both have mental disorders like myself. But there are no full time jobs available in this little piss hole excuse for a province. There are positions listed in the Sat paper for working up north in the Alberta oil fields. Maybe it’s time to just wave bye-bye to PEI and hello to Alberta oil fields!! My whole life is shit right now!! Damn it. I WANT A JOB AND A LIFE WITHOUT HAVING TO GO TO HEROIC MEASURES JUST TO SURVIVE!!! I’ve taken my xanax on time and at the right dosage, except I put the 1/2 a tablet under my tongue 30+ minutes ago. I still feel like shit. I am not feeling suicidal, I just want to get a life that isn’t so damn hard. I don’t see others strungling so damn hard and are able to afford a car that works and have a decent house to live in. Here I struggle to keep up our half of a duplex that we own. The other half is owned by someone who appears to have OCD. Vacuums at least 2 times a day and has no visitors. But thats another story!! And a damn long too!!! I want out, yet I don’t. I want to move to where jobs are, but PEI is a safe place to raise a child. I don’t know what I want!! I do want to go and curl up into a ball, cry and tell the world to take a hike. Leave me alone. There’s nothing I can do to help my family let alone myself, so just leave me alone!! Yesterday morning started so good and turned to shit in a period of 24+ hours. This afternoon we must walk to the Co-op Grocery store, get our groceries and then taxi home. I’ll force every foot step. If you want to respond, fine. If you don’t want to respond, fine. I probably wouldn’t respond to a letter like this right now either. Please let me live a life where every inch isn’t a struggle to take!!! I had over a thousand posts in Agent to read today, but I’ve just deleted them all. I just can’t help others, if I can’t help myself. Today I want to be a *Weasel* to just be able to go and find somewhere to hide, but my signature still reads Alan. Alan B. If you want my real email, remove all the *’s.
Response:
And people should pray harder! Amen! – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Alan, relax today. Tomorrow will be a new day and you will work to make your life better. And eventually it will be alot better. That’s a fact. Chip
Response:
The last 24 hours have been absoulutely like shit!!!!
SNIP I found the $100. WHEW!! It was in my pants pocket the whole time. I must have checked it at least 20 or more times. I just didn’t do a thorough enough search. <g The xanax has kicked in and I’m feeling not quite so PO’d about the whole thing. Tomorrow we’re all going to get on our bikes and ride somewhere, just to be nice to ourselves. Cheryl says she’s too old for a bike, but I’ve had her bike in the basement, all the bearings repacked and the wheels trued for the last 3 years. Tomorrow is her first time in that many years to ride. Ted’s bike is also in great condition, I just have to raise the seat a few cm’s. My bike? It works as good as ever. I can also take it all apart, clean it, fix and tweak it, and it’s race ready, which is more than I can say about the piece of cast iron on 4 wheels in my driveway. Boy, am I glad I kept my road bike all these years. It’ll give me transportation for a 20 to 30 Km radius while the weather’s good. Paint job looks like crap and 10 speeds are out of style today, so I can can lock it up and most would be bike-thiefs would pass it over for a mountain bike worth about a third of what mine is. Spring has finally arrived!!! Sunday is Mother’s Day and also our 22th wedding anniversary, so we’ll all go to someplace even if it’s just for some ice cream. Cycling’s good exercise for all of us. We don’t have a public bus system. City hall is looking into proposals and we all know what that means. With luck, within 2-3 years they will have a plan, just in time for their election campaigns. ))) Alan B. If you want my real email, remove all the *’s.
Response:
The last 24 hours have been absoulutely like shit!!!! I almost started a fire in the house last night because I had our toaster oven on for too gawd damn long!! Caught it in time. No flames. Just a lot of smoke and a toaster oven to clean and check out the electronics. It’s suffered no damage, except for smoke. Works fine now. Electronics OK too. I think I lost a hundred dollar bill this morning. I also had to have my car towed to a service station to get it’s annual inspection, where I was told that my car was not worth the money it would take to bring it up to spec! New floor, brakes, etc. from them and a few hundred more for other stuff. Cost?! More than what the fucking thing is damn well worth!!! My bike in the trunk to ride back home on is worth more than the bloody car!!! We’re on financial assistance for meds, and then what I bring home from my temp job!!! It just seems everything is caving in on me at once. Job ends at the end of June. Back on full financial assistance then, I guess!!! I’ve finally had to accept the point that we’re poor and will continue to be so for the rest of our lives. University education in music, not worth a damn. College education in computers, worth something, but there’s no IT jobs available in PEI. Period. Why is my life so shitty!? I’ve sent out resumes like crazy, and can offer employers 100% government funding for my salary for up to a year. Still no bites. So, I’m here back at home, regreting all the wrong mistakes I’ve made in my so called career and feel like shit. My wife and son both have mental disorders like myself. But there are no full time jobs available in this little piss hole excuse for a province. There are positions listed in the Sat paper for working up north in the Alberta oil fields. Maybe it’s time to just wave bye-bye to PEI and hello to Alberta oil fields!! My whole life is shit right now!! Damn it. I WANT A JOB AND A LIFE WITHOUT HAVING TO GO TO HEROIC MEASURES JUST TO SURVIVE!!! I’ve taken my xanax on time and at the right dosage, except I put the 1/2 a tablet under my tongue 30+ minutes ago. I still feel like shit. I am not feeling suicidal, I just want to get a life that isn’t so damn hard. I don’t see others strungling so damn hard and are able to afford a car that works and have a decent house to live in. Here I struggle to keep up our half of a duplex that we own. The other half is owned by someone who appears to have OCD. Vacuums at least 2 times a day and has no visitors. But thats another story!! And a damn long too!!! I want out, yet I don’t. I want to move to where jobs are, but PEI is a safe place to raise a child. I don’t know what I want!! I do want to go and curl up into a ball, cry and tell the world to take a hike. Leave me alone. There’s nothing I can do to help my family let alone myself, so just leave me alone!! Yesterday morning started so good and turned to shit in a period of 24+ hours. This afternoon we must walk to the Co-op Grocery store, get our groceries and then taxi home. I’ll force every foot step. If you want to respond, fine. If you don’t want to respond, fine. I probably wouldn’t respond to a letter like this right now either. Please let me live a life where every inch isn’t a struggle to take!!! I had over a thousand posts in Agent to read today, but I’ve just deleted them all. I just can’t help others, if I can’t help myself. Today I want to be a *Weasel* to just be able to go and find somewhere to hide, but my signature still reads Alan. Alan B. If you want my real email, remove all the *’s.
