my daughterl
Question:
Hi Kay, First of all, I am glad your daughter was lucky enough to get diagnosed so early. I have been suffering from OCD since age 9 and was not diagnosed until 12 years later. That says a lot for you, and your attentiveness and caring for her. I wish all of us had been lucky enough to have parents who cared enough to get us help. As far as her OCD behaviours go, don’t yell at her or punish her for doing them. She is doing them out of extreme anxiety and probably feels quite annoyed at herself already for having to do these things. But also, do not help her with her rituals. (For example, if she asks you to check the door for her or to check to see if something is clean, don’t do it.) Try to encourage her to act as "normally" as possible- for example, by encouraging her to set a time limit on doing her rituals, and that she will stop when the time is up, and gradually reduce the time. The important thing is that she not feel like these things are being forced on her, but that SHE is choosing to reduce her ritualistic behaviour because SHE realizes it is not necessary. It’s also good to focus on her anxiety as the problem, rather than the behaviours, and that you both understand that the behaviours are a result of extreme anxiety and are done to reduce that anxiety. Is your daughter seeing a psychiatrist or a counsellor? These types of people might be very helpful to her in explaining to her WHY she does these things. It is quite possible that she, at age 13, doesn’t understand why she has to check a lock so many times, just that it doesn’t "feel right." A professional may be able to explain to her that she is doing these things to relieve anxiety, and that the anxiety is the problem rather than the behaviours. I don’t know if they put 13 year olds on medication or not, but there are other parents of OCD sufferers here who might be able to inform you more about that. Good luck to you and your daughter. naomi On Wed, 15 Mar 2000 09:25:34 -0000, "kay heywood" – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -<k…@heywood2828.freeserve.co.uk> wrote: >kay heywood wrote in message … >>could anyone tell me the best way to deal with my 13 yr old daughter who >has >>been diagnosed OCD at 8yrs old. She has recently started hand washing and >>door checking. It is becoming more and more repetetive and disturbing. Do I >>shout at her and be strict or is being calm and understanding the best way?
Response:
Hey Kay! 
Your daughter is probably already frustrated with herself as is and getting upset with her would only add fuel to the fire. I am sure she already feels punished as is…with all these persistent repetitive thoughts/rituals interfering with her life. OCD makes one feel odd and bizarre so I can imagine her self esteem/confidence is pretty poor. In my opiniation…I would just let her deal with it herself and work it out with her therapy. Maybe you can be more diplomatic in your approach and ask her how her day is going and if anything is bothering her at the moment, etc.. It really is a stubborn disorder and can be totally miserable & exhausting. I wish your daughter the best in controlling her OCD behaviors, believe me it ain’t easy!!! You sound like a real caring mom! 
Aimee kay heywood <k…@heywood2828.freeserve.co.uk> wrote in message
news:8aovhi$6sq$1@newsg2.svr.pol.co.uk… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> kay heywood wrote in message … > >could anyone tell me the best way to deal with my 13 yr old daughter who > has > >been diagnosed OCD at 8yrs old. She has recently started hand washing and > >door checking. It is becoming more and more repetetive and disturbing. Do I > >shout at her and be strict or is being calm and understanding the best way?
Response:
Hi Kay! My son has OCD (he’s 18). I’d just like to add that the more I learned about this illness, the more patient I became with his compulsions and rituals. It is so very difficult to see your child struggle with this. No matter how hard it is for us, it is 100 times harder for our kids. There is a website: www.ocdhope.com that I have found helpful They have guidelines for families dealing with OCD. It addressed some of my immediate concerns when we first learned of my son’s OCD. Take care, Cindy * Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet’s Discussion Network * The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet – Free!
Response:
Hi Kay, I posted this in the OCD related to the Birth Control section, but I thought I would post it here as well. Some kids go through "compulsions" before adolescence as a normal way of coping with changes of life. This is not always a sign that the child has OCD or that the compulsions will continue for long. Read Dr. Spock’s book, there is a section on compulsions in children that explains it. Carolyn
Response:
Please don’t yell at her. My parents yelled at me and it make OCD worse. Talk to a therapist on how to help your daughter. Annmarie The brown eyed lady
Response:
Hi Kay, your littlw sweet heart can’t help it, she has a neurochemical imbalance. As a health care professional (nurse) I strongly reccomend going to your primary care physician right away for referral to a pediatric psychiatrist for meds and therapy. Early treatment should be very good for her to spare her the worst of this as she gets older. Let us know how it goes. Be compassionate, loving, and let her talk it out with you. You will not be able to alter her behavior and the shouting and strictness will most likely exacerbate her beginning OCD. Keep us informed, we’re here for you. God bless you both, Kristi
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -kay heywood wrote in message … >could anyone tell me the best way to deal with my 13 yr old daughter who has >been diagnosed OCD at 8yrs old. She has recently started hand washing and >door checking. It is becoming more and more repetetive and disturbing. Do I >shout at her and be strict or is being calm and understanding the best way?
Response:
Kay, I’m assuming that your daughter is getting professional help?? My two cent worth would be to tell you not to ‘enable’ her complusions, the therapist (if there is one) should be discussing ways for you to help her build up resistance to performing her rituals..step by step. I would strongly advice you not to yell or shout at her, it will only make her more anxious and may increase the OCD behaviors. Taking a firm position without showing anger and remaining calm is a difficult thing to do but would in my opinion be the most beneficial to her. Your post didn’t have too much information in it so I tried to respond in general terms. Hope this helps some. Good luck, LN – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -. >kay heywood wrote in message … >>could anyone tell me the best way to deal with my 13 yr old daughter who >has >>been diagnosed OCD at 8yrs old. She has recently started hand washing and >>door checking. It is becoming more and more repetetive and disturbing. Do I >>shout at her and be strict or is being calm and understanding the best way? ></PRE></HTML>
