Someone please help me!!! this is TERRIBLE
Question:
Hey Auditor, I am not sure this would be considered mature and healthy, but… When I work with an asshole, peer or superior, one way to release a bit tension is when you ride the elevator alone, flip them the bird. Also, if you’re walking down an otherwise empty hallway and pass said bitch, mouth to yourself what a mean ass she is and that you hope what goes round bites her on the butt soon. Its nutty but it is a safe vent. Lisa * Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet’s Discussion Network * The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet – Free!
Response:
Hi Auditor, I sincerely hope your boss decides to quit her job. I was in your position two years ago and she made my life miserable. Like your boss, she could be up or down, and she often got mean towards me. A couple of times she yelled at me, telling me that she had to look over her shoulder to see if my shoes were tied. She said the artwork I did for the web site was "butt ugly." Like you, I am very slow to pick up new information. When I’m in an office meeting, I’m often out of sync, trying to assimilate what was just talked about while the rest of the people are moving on. I think your boss is picking you out from the rest of the workers and that’s unfair. It’s very inconsiderate of her to treat you as she does. My supervisor could say nice things to me, too, but that eventually stopped. It doesn’t matter if your boss can treat you nicely sometimes, there’s no call for her to treat you shabbily! The way you feel about yourself and your work is very important. To tell you to "just ignore her" isn’t enough because it doesn’t resolve your hurt feelings. It makes me angry that there are bosses that do that to nice, gentle people like you. I’m not sure what the right advice is but all I can do is to tell you that I know what you’re talking about and I’ve been down that street. John
Response:
I used to have a boss very much as you describe. My only consolation was that I wasn’t the only one whose head she had screwed up. As time went by, others began grouping together ‘cuz she had ‘kissed’ their face & then left a ‘knife’ sticking out of their backs. Like you, it took me a while for it to sink in & to avoid her at all cost. I got to where I wouldn’t even give her the slightest smile if she said ‘hello’ in the hallway. Nope! I went through many months of bad ‘tornado’ dreams because all she’d been into at work. Now that I’m thinking about it, I think that is also about the time my OCD came back & really began to set in with me. Stress to the max. I never understood how she ended up getting promoted 2 levels before she bit the dust as did many others (myself included) that year?! Are you able to get out of her group & go elsewhere within the same company? I certainly tried that route the couple of times I’d run across an opening I thought I’d fit into. But this ‘lady’ had her fingers in high places & I didn’t get any relief until she got high enough up that I didn’t have to be directly under her. And if you can’t go elsewhere in the company, have you considered looking elsewhere — if it is so bad you truly can’t handle it? ~~~Octavia =============== auditor7…@aol.com (Auditor7273) wrote: – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Hi… > I’ve posted here before. (However, I don’t want my boss to read this.) I’m in > my twenties with a moderate/severe case of OCD. I’m sorry this post is so > long… if you find ANY of it readable and able to comment at all, I’d really > appreciate it. > I feel very frustrated. This post rots as far as posts go … it reads like > sandpaper; there is nothing concrete to break up the monotony. > Anyway, here goes: > My problem right now is I am having trouble with one of my bosses where I work. > I have 4 bosses in all. But, one is very moody. I don’t know how to deal with > her or my feelings around her. She ranges from being semi-friendly to cold and > distant … and my behavior seems to have no affect on her. Sometimes I > approach her in a nice way but she gives me the cold shoulder, and it ruins my > whole day! > Whenever she’s being "nice", she’s nice towards everyone, when she’s "down", it > seems it’s only around me. She can be bossy and curt …. I’m extremely slow > at picking up new information …. I can tell she gets exasperated sometimes. > However, another week will go by and she’ll act like a different person. This > is very disturbing. She is so unpredictable. > The only problem with my job is her. I can’t even pass her in the halls > without cringing. I take every slight (from her) in the hallway like it’s the > first time, and the slights are often very slight. I seem to forget > (momentarily) how friendly she can be. She operates in cycles, but every time > she’s "down" I get so depressed because it seems she’s this way only around me. > She has a camaraderie with the other workers but with me she can be very > stiff. When I greet her in the hallways she mumbles "hi" like she wishes she > didn’t have to answer. > It is very depressing. Maybe it’s because I’m slow and she doesn’t know how to > react to that. I have a hard time working when she’s around now. Why does she > bother me? I just fear people think I’m stupid and are "telling" me by their > aloofness that I’m not worth their time. I don’t know. I seem to have similar > trouble with others. > I’ve worked with this supervisor for 4 years. I do remember that she’s also > been very decent to me. Why can’t I remember THAT when she’s being unfriendly? > I can’t seem to shake the depression. She has so much impact on my moods…it > shouldn’t bother me because she has no impact on my job…the other 3 say I’m > doing fine. But, when SHE’S around, their positive feedback doesn’t matter > anymore! > I’m not a lesbian and I’m not attracted to her in any way, nor do I desire any > friendship with her. I just wish she could treat me the same as my co-workers > (when she’s in "the mood", that is). > I talked to my Dr. about it, and she said to just ignore her and concentrate on > my job. That I should tell myself (whenever she bothers me), that I’m doing a > good job. > This seems like good advice. The trouble is I don’t know if I’m strong enough > to follow it. I try to think positively when I’m around her, but my feelings > never change. I get so depressed. Is this OCD or could it be something else? > How should I handle these feelings? I feel terrible!!! > Any comments (on any portion of this post) would be greatly appreciated. > auditor > Auditor7…@aol.com
– ~~~Octavia Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/ Before you buy.
Response:
I CANT SAY IF IT IS OCD OR NOT. THE ONLY ADVISE I CAN GIVA YOU IS TO CONFRONT HER. ASK HER WHY SHE TREATS YOU LIKE THAT. THE ONLY WAY TO SOLVE A PROBLEM IS TO CONFRONT IT,REMEMBER SHE IS NO BETTER THAN YOU ,EVERYONE IS EQUAL IN THE EYES OF GOD! I KNOW THIS IS EASIER SAID THAN DONE,BUT IF YOU BUILD UP YOUR STRENGTH AND GIVE IT A TRY YOU WILL FEEL BETTER ABOUT YOURSELF AND SHE MAY RESPECT YOU MORE RESULTING IN HER LEAVING YOU ALONE. HOPE I HAVE BEEN OF SOME HELP. DAKO…@CS.COM
Response:
Hi… I’ve posted here before. (However, I don’t want my boss to read this.) I’m in my twenties with a moderate/severe case of OCD. I’m sorry this post is so long… if you find ANY of it readable and able to comment at all, I’d really appreciate it. I feel very frustrated. This post rots as far as posts go … it reads like sandpaper; there is nothing concrete to break up the monotony. Anyway, here goes: My problem right now is I am having trouble with one of my bosses where I work. I have 4 bosses in all. But, one is very moody. I don’t know how to deal with her or my feelings around her. She ranges from being semi-friendly to cold and distant … and my behavior seems to have no affect on her. Sometimes I approach her in a nice way but she gives me the cold shoulder, and it ruins my whole day! Whenever she’s being "nice", she’s nice towards everyone, when she’s "down", it seems it’s only around me. She can be bossy and curt …. I’m extremely slow at picking up new information …. I can tell she gets exasperated sometimes. However, another week will go by and she’ll act like a different person. This is very disturbing. She is so unpredictable. The only problem with my job is her. I can’t even pass her in the halls without cringing. I take every slight (from her) in the hallway like it’s the first time, and the slights are often very slight. I seem to forget (momentarily) how friendly she can be. She operates in cycles, but every time she’s "down" I get so depressed because it seems she’s this way only around me. She has a camaraderie with the other workers but with me she can be very stiff. When I greet her in the hallways she mumbles "hi" like she wishes she didn’t have to answer. It is very depressing. Maybe it’s because I’m slow and she doesn’t know how to react to that. I have a hard time working when she’s around now. Why does she bother me? I just fear people think I’m stupid and are "telling" me by their aloofness that I’m not worth their time. I don’t know. I seem to have similar trouble with others. I’ve worked with this supervisor for 4 years. I do remember that she’s also been very decent to me. Why can’t I remember THAT when she’s being unfriendly? I can’t seem to shake the depression. She has so much impact on my moods…it shouldn’t bother me because she has no impact on my job…the other 3 say I’m doing fine. But, when SHE’S around, their positive feedback doesn’t matter anymore! I’m not a lesbian and I’m not attracted to her in any way, nor do I desire any friendship with her. I just wish she could treat me the same as my co-workers (when she’s in "the mood", that is). I talked to my Dr. about it, and she said to just ignore her and concentrate on my job. That I should tell myself (whenever she bothers me), that I’m doing a good job. This seems like good advice. The trouble is I don’t know if I’m strong enough to follow it. I try to think positively when I’m around her, but my feelings never change. I get so depressed. Is this OCD or could it be something else? How should I handle these feelings? I feel terrible!!! Any comments (on any portion of this post) would be greatly appreciated. auditor Auditor7…@aol.com
Response:
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