Cuddling, Sex, Intimacy, Emotional/Affairs, Advice Please!

Question:

Well please think about how your life will be with this person if you get married. He probably will not change, nor should he have to it is just that you each require different things to be happy. I used to crave sex before I met DH. But other boyfriends were never cuddlyor affectionate. With Dh sex is very seldom maybe oncea month (but I have also had major health problems) BUT he is very cuddly and affectionate and we communicate well. we will celebrate our second Anniversary in April. Been together since Oct. 96. We sleep in different rooms for various reasons and are both content with this most of the time. We can’t afford a bigger bed and we both sleep sprawled out and he snores to shake the walls. He also goes to bed many hours later than I do and he kept waking me up. So each morning we snuggle, usually goto him. and crawl into bed. and go back to sleep for a while. I at first had a hard time with this as I thought no other newlywed couple sleeps in different rooms, unless they are unhappy. But I am finding out that there are many folks who sleep in different beds and are quite happy. I feel very lucky to have a DH who like to cuddle and snuggle and always be touching, it means more than s** any day to me. But sometimes I would like to to be more. either you are going to have to accept him the way he is and be happy with the way things are or get out of the relationship now before it goes any further. good luck in your choice Kim W

Response:

Whoops — he popped in to discuss carpentry project. Gotta go — will be back to read any advice / comments in a.m.. Thanks any and all ASMers.

Response:

On Thu, 20 Jan 2000 03:22:17 GMT, susan…@cyber-dyne.com wrote: > Do you know if I can wait a day or two (and get all you ASM’er’s >wonderful advice) and then cancel it?

If the post concerns you, why do you think it would be safe to leave it for any length of time? Actually, many ISPs do NOT honor cancels any longer because of all the abuse. Besides, once the thing is archived at deja, you cannot get rid of it with a simple cancel request. Instead you want to nuke the post … note you can only nuke posts you made (which means you cannot nuke the posts of others who quoted your article) and you must still have access to the e-mail account shown in the headers … and note that nuking does not always work. You could search deja’s web site until you turn purple and never find how to nuke articles… it is a well-kept secret. Go here: http://www.deja.com/forms/nuke.shtml Now, about posting without "fear" … get a web-based e-mail account (yahoo, excite, hotmail, whatever) with a user name that does not trace to you … use that in FreeAgent when you post (but you may not want to leave it in FA if you both use the same software) Only one comment on your situation … if you cannot discuss your thoughts and feelings with your bf, marriage is a mistake unless the thought of living like roommates appeals to you. Perhaps the two of you should try couples counseling? Floridanewbie

Response:

Callai <cal…@yahoo.com>, far, far away from here, appears to have written: [snips] > > Hmmm… I’m using Free Agent, and yes, it does. But what exactly does > > that do? > It will remove the message from the newsgroup and prevent it from appearing in > Deja or other archives. Sometimes the message header will appear in deja but > the message contents will be missing.

Unfortunately, it won’t remove the follow-ups that have already occurred… — Cheers, Mic [Return address works] The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.

Response:

Thanks, floridanewbie, for the info . >Only one comment on your situation … if you cannot discuss your >thoughts and feelings with your bf, marriage is a mistake unless the >thought of living like roommates appeals to you. Perhaps the two of >you should try couples counseling?

I guess I said that because I used word ‘affair’, more to express my feeling of frustration than actual intention, and I was afraid he’d see it and freak out. He was married when he was young and his wife had an affair.