OCD, OCD
Question:
I understand that but what I think you misunderstood is that I don’t have any homosexual "desires". It causes me fear and anxiety and I obsess about it constantly because of my OCD but I have no desires to be with men. I’m sorry about the whole you not having OCD thing by the way. L.Ros. <ro1.be…@get2net.dk> wrote in message
news:fjVs3.228$Ts2.203@news.get2net.dk… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> x-no-archive: yes > ro1.be…@get2net.dk > .beans is not part of my e-mail-address > ——– > And btw way I’m sorry if I have triggered your fears. Needles to say that > was not my intention. > And no, I don’t think your mind can turn you into a mass > murderer unless you have a disease that is far more sinister than ocd. > And let me say once again that of course I can not look into > your brain and I don’t know how much it has to say over your identity. I can > only speak about my own personal experiences. > And another thing which I should probably have made more clear: > What I meant to stress was of course not that your brain would turn you into > a homosexual if you worried about it. > It was quite the oppsite I was aiming for; namely that if you > stop fearing homosexuality, all your homosexual desires might go away. > And yes, I’m afraid I do have OCD. I wish I hadn’t. > Lars
Response:
x-no-archives: yes <~ getting thoughts that maybe you are excepting your compulsions and you really are homosexual or whatever.~> I had that type of obsession when i was about 15. The thought of KDLang made me wretch. I would obsess and think that my boyfriend looked like her and that i needed to break up etc. I got over that. But over time, i came to realize people can do what they will, and humans can interact in many different ways. My best friend is actually a lesbian. She’s the coolest. I pretty much came to the conclusion that if i have an open mind about things, it won’t be such a phobia. I’m not bisexual, but i am openminded enough to not freak out like i did when the OCD started. Good luck. Attack it, not vice versa! 
Response:
Right. perfect advice. So, according to your theory, your mind will try to turn you into whatever you obsess about eventually. So if someone obssesses and fears about becaoming a mass murderer are you saying that their mind will eventually turn them into that? Can anyone say TRIGGER! I’m wondering if you have OCD because it really doesn’t seem like you have any grasp on the disease. Just my opinion. L.Ros. <ro1.be…@get2net.dk> wrote in message
news:sKHs3.956$e92.666@news.get2net.dk… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> x-no-archive: yes > ro1.be…@get2net.dk > .beans is not part of my e-mail-address > ——– > This is just of the top of my head and you may want to disregard it totally. > But I’ve dealt with some things which reminds me about your > homosexuality-problem a little bit, and here’s my personal sollution. > And let me stress that this is just *my* personal theory and it is probably > just nonsense. Well here it is. > I think that if you obsess a lot about becoming something your mind will try > to turn you into that. I think that the more you worry about being a > homosexual, looking for symptoms etc. the higher are the chances that your > mind will try to turn you into one. > If your goal is to be a heterosexual, i think you should do this (and I know > it’s a paradox.): You should try to accept the possibility that you might be > a homo-sexual. Try to relax about it. If you relax anbout it and dont really > care about it your mind will stop trying to turn you into a homosexual. And > then the obsession will disappear. > I think this is what the shrinks call non-avoidance. > And I do think there is good reason to relax about it! > I don’t really know what it is you find so horrible about homosexuality. Are > you very religous and therefore disgusted by it or are you afraid what your > parents might say or something? > I can’t really argue with that of course, but just say that in my oppinion > there is nothing wrong or imoral about being homosexual. And I’m glad that > homosexuality is becoming more and more accepted in the western world. (In > my country homosexuals can even get married and attend balls at the queen’s > court as a couple.) > Well, thats about it. I hope you can use some of it and it doesn’t make you > jump of a cliff or something. : ) > And remember it’s probably just nonsense. > Lars
Response:
Well, sure. I guess that’s part of it. L.Ros. <ro1.be…@get2net.dk> wrote in message
news:xNWs3.284$Ts2.384@news.get2net.dk… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> x-no-archive: yes > ro1.be…@get2net.dk > .beans is not part of my e-mail-address > ——– > someone skrev i meddelelsen … > >It really wasn’t a big worry for me until I got engaged about a month ago. > >that’s when the obsession started. i don’t know exactly why but I began > >having these obsessions. I have a great relationship with my fiancee in > all > >ways and I guess OCD took this opportunity to throw me for a loop since my > >relationship with her is so important. > Okay… > So do you think your fear is basically about losing your fiancee? > Sorry if it’s a stupid question, but have you talked to her about all this?
Response:
someone wrote in message … >It really wasn’t a big worry for me until I got engaged about a month ago. >that’s when the obsession started. i don’t know exactly why but I began >having these obsessions. I have a great relationship with my fiancee in all >ways and I guess OCD took this opportunity to throw me for a loop since my >relationship with her is so important.
Your last sentence states why you began obsessing. This relationship is very important to you and you will do all that you know how and what to do in order to maintain it. OCD is focused attention, a compulsive preoccupation with an idea or thought. You speak of OCD as if it were something foreign to you, something that invades or takes control. You speak of it as if "IT" (OCD) was an entity that is in control. Try looking at OCD as behavior that happens when "YOU" are out of control. OCD is not in control, you are out of control. When you learn to control yourself, there is no need for OCD behavior. Ironically, for those who develop ocd, getting control most often means letting go, accepting that you can’t control everything. When you can do this, you gain control of yourself. A lot of things can happen that would jeopardize your relationship but most things can be worked through when both of you are equipped with reasonable relationship skills.It seems the fear is not a fear of being a homosexual as much as it is a fear of losing this relationship and one thing that just might cause it to be lost is if you were a homosexual. Try sticking with the real fear and working on that. I think you will find that your fear of being a homosexual will simply disappear. OCD doesn’t just pop up to sabotage us. OCD is often a distraction, a way of avoiding the real fear when we don’t know what to do about it. Take care of your "self". whatatrip rbol…@premier1.net
Response:
It really wasn’t a big worry for me until I got engaged about a month ago. that’s when the obsession started. i don’t know exactly why but I began having these obsessions. I have a great relationship with my fiancee in all ways and I guess OCD took this opportunity to throw me for a loop since my relationship with her is so important. L.Ros. <ro1.be…@get2net.dk> wrote in message
news:DPVs3.243$Ts2.300@news.get2net.dk… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> x-no-archive: yes > ro1.be…@get2net.dk > .beans is not part of my e-mail-address > ——– > someone skrev i meddelelsen … > >I understand that but what I think you misunderstood is that I don’t have > >any homosexual "desires". It causes me fear and anxiety and I obsess about > >it constantly because of my OCD but I have no desires to be with men. > Then let me rephrase that: If you get a more relaxed and positive outlook on > homosexuality, your obsession and fear might go away. > I’m > >sorry about the whole you not having OCD thing by the way. > That’s okay. > May I ask you one thing: Exactly why do you think that homosexuality is > something that should be feared? > Lars
Response:
Hi everyone. It’s been awhile since I posted on the board. I was actually proud of myself not giving in one my homosexual obsessions during my week vacation. I stayed at a lake with my fiancee and my mind was the clearest it had been in a month. I did get the thoughts creeping in but only on a few occasions and not with much anxiety. I just enjoyed myself. I said to myself "Wow, maybe I have this particular obssession licked like the multitude of other obsessions I’ve managed to stop over the years" THEN.. I got back home and things started back up again. I live about an hour from work and I typically obsessed alot during the drive-in. It was like my mind remembered the habit because sure enough as soon as I began that drive the thoughts began spilling out again. I tried to diffuse them but the anxiety was back as well. The usual happened after that. I started to obsess more about it, then I started to get mad at myself for allowing the obsessions, then I got depressed, and well you know the rest. I did stop myself from frantically searching informational sites on the Internet for the subject the other day but I’m still in the same boat I was before vacation. Does anyone else have this habit of obsessing kind of on the spot in places or times when you’re used to obsessing. It’s so maddening and since I didn’t get too much sleep last night the OCD is worse today. It’s one of those days where you obsess but your mind doesn’t have enough energy to fight the thoughts so you start getting thoughts that maybe you are excepting your compulsions and you really are homosexual or whatever. UGGGH! Well, that’s my rant
