Do you have a problem talking about your problems?
Question:
It is my impression that those of us on the list who are doing the best, particularly with meds, do not drink AT ALL. Boyd – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hi Blackbird, welcome to ASAP, My husband is an anxiety/panic attack sufferer. He also has depression, diabetes and is an active alcoholic. His drinking is interfering with his meds, worsening his diabetes and has caused nerve damage in is feet. He doesn’t like to talk about his "problems". Do any of you anxiety/panic sufferers find it hard to face your mate with things that need discussing? Especially when it means you will have to change your lifestyle? Many will say that the root of this problem is the booze. However, he went through rehab last year and was sober for 4 months. This is when the panic attacks started. This is when the depression became chronic. On another board, (can’t remember where) someone suggested to me that the anxiety is the root of the problem. I’ve only recently come to understand the illness called anxiety. Seems to me that my dh has suffered from this all of his life. You could be right. My guess is that like the overwhelming majority of anxiety and depression sufferers he’s been self-medicating with booze to alleviate underlying anxiety and depression, perhaps since he was a teenager. The fact they flared after he stopped supports that. Booze and anxiety (and/or depression) set in train a slow but steady downward spiral. Booze increases anxiety, and anxiety increases the need for booze. I’m separately reposting information on why that happens. He’s on Celexa and Tofranil for the depression. Seroquel and Xanax for the anxiety. The neurologist prescribed Trileptal for the pain due to nerve damage. Y’all may know that one, too. It’s an anti-seizure med. I have one friend who has taken it for her anxiety/PA. So, how do you get an anxiety sufferer to face the music? First he has to understand that booze isn’t his saviour, but his anxiety and depression’s worst nightmare. Secondly, if he isn’t seeing a psychiatrist, he should. And the psychiatrist needs to be told about the drinking. He shouldn’t be drinking while taking Xanax. That is potentially very dangerous. Nor are the other three meds and alcohol a good combination. I think that his whole med regime needs to be reevaluated. Most people don’t need to take 2 antidepressants, a benzodiazepine (Xanax) and a anti psychotic (Seroquel) to control anxiety and depression. It may be that they are appropriate in you husbands case, there are people who need multiple meds, but they are few and far between. But the number one priority should be the alcohol. Good luck Ian
Response:
My husband is an anxiety/panic attack sufferer. He also has depression, diabetes and is an active alcoholic. His drinking is interfering with his meds, worsening his diabetes and has caused nerve damage in is feet.
This first paragraph has pretty much summed things up very clearly. Alcohol and diabetes is a bad mix. Alcohol and depression is a bad mix. Alcohol and anxiety is a bad mix. Alcohol and meds are a bad mix. You have said that you have tried to get him to understand the seriousness of what he is doing to himself, and that is really the extent of what you can do. Now you need to take care of you…learn how to nurture yourself, and be sure you are not enabling him in anyway. By nagging him, he can blame it all on you. Don’t give him that opportunity. Work on making your own life better and stable. Your husband has the choice to care about his health or not. Sadly, right now, he is choosing the alcohol. Take care, Liz – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – He doesn’t like to talk about his "problems". Do any of you anxiety/panic sufferers find it hard to face your mate with things that need discussing? Especially when it means you will have to change your lifestyle? Many will say that the root of this problem is the booze. However, he went through rehab last year and was sober for 4 months. This is when the panic attacks started. This is when the depression became chronic. On another board, (can’t remember where) someone suggested to me that the anxiety is the root of the problem. I’ve only recently come to understand the illness called anxiety. Seems to me that my dh has suffered from this all of his life. He’s on Celexa and Tofranil for the depression. Seroquel and Xanax for the anxiety. The neurologist prescribed Trileptal for the pain due to nerve damage. Y’all may know that one, too. It’s an anti-seizure med. I have one friend who has taken it for her anxiety/PA. So, how do you get an anxiety sufferer to face the music?
Response:
Bully for you Sasha. You should be right proud of yourself for this major and important accomplishment. But the fact remains…you did this because you decided it needed to happen…and how difficult it is to recognize that we cannot do this for others. Peace, John – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – It is my impression that those of us on the list who are doing the best, particularly with meds, do not drink AT ALL. Boyd Easier said than done, but I did it. Yesterday I got 30 days sober! You can tell your husband that it really felt great to get that chip and although it has been a rough thirty days things are going to get better now, at least that is what they tell me. Sasha Hi Blackbird, welcome to ASAP, My husband is an anxiety/panic attack sufferer. He also has depression, diabetes and is an active alcoholic. His drinking is interfering with his meds, worsening his diabetes and has caused nerve damage in is feet. He doesn’t like to talk about his "problems". Do any of you anxiety/panic sufferers find it hard to face your mate with things that need discussing? Especially when it means you will have to change your lifestyle? Many will say that the root of this problem is the booze. However, he went through rehab last year and was sober for 4 months. This is when the panic attacks started. This is when the depression became chronic. On another board, (can’t remember where) someone suggested to me that the anxiety is the root of the problem. I’ve only recently come to understand the illness called anxiety. Seems to me that my dh has suffered from this all of his life. You could be right. My guess is that like the overwhelming majority of anxiety and depression sufferers he’s been self-medicating with booze to alleviate underlying anxiety and depression, perhaps since he was a teenager. The fact they flared after he stopped supports that. Booze and anxiety (and/or depression) set in train a slow but steady downward spiral. Booze increases anxiety, and anxiety increases the need for booze. I’m separately reposting information on why that happens. He’s on Celexa and Tofranil for the depression. Seroquel and Xanax for the anxiety. The neurologist prescribed Trileptal for the pain due to nerve damage. Y’all may know that one, too. It’s an anti-seizure med. I have one friend who has taken it for her anxiety/PA. So, how do you get an anxiety sufferer to face the music? First he has to understand that booze isn’t his saviour, but his anxiety and depression’s worst nightmare. Secondly, if he isn’t seeing a psychiatrist, he should. And the psychiatrist needs to be told about the drinking. He shouldn’t be drinking while taking Xanax. That is potentially very dangerous. Nor are the other three meds and alcohol a good combination. I think that his whole med regime needs to be reevaluated. Most people don’t need to take 2 antidepressants, a benzodiazepine (Xanax) and a anti psychotic (Seroquel) to control anxiety and depression. It may be that they are appropriate in you husbands case, there are people who need multiple meds, but they are few and far between. But the number one priority should be the alcohol. Good luck Ian
Response:
:Yesterday I got 30 days sober! Congratulations {{{{{Sasha}}}}} I can only imagine how hard this was for you! Being sober can "only" lead instance. Jackie ~~Life isn`t measured by the breathes you take, but what takes your breath away~~
Response:
It is my impression that those of us on the list who are doing the best, particularly with meds, do not drink AT ALL. Boyd Easier said than done, but I did it. Yesterday I got 30 days sober! You can tell your husband that it really felt great to get that chip and although it has been a rough thirty days things are going to get better now, at least that is what they tell me. Sasha
Congratulations! I remember my first month of being sober in AA on November 15, 1978. Chip
Response:
It is my impression that those of us on the list who are doing the best, particularly with meds, do not drink AT ALL. Boyd
Easier said than done, but I did it. Yesterday I got 30 days sober! You can tell your husband that it really felt great to get that chip and although it has been a rough thirty days things are going to get better now, at least that is what they tell me. Sasha – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hi Blackbird, welcome to ASAP, My husband is an anxiety/panic attack sufferer. He also has depression, diabetes and is an active alcoholic. His drinking is interfering with his meds, worsening his diabetes and has caused nerve damage in is feet. He doesn’t like to talk about his "problems". Do any of you anxiety/panic sufferers find it hard to face your mate with things that need discussing? Especially when it means you will have to change your lifestyle? Many will say that the root of this problem is the booze. However, he went through rehab last year and was sober for 4 months. This is when the panic attacks started. This is when the depression became chronic. On another board, (can’t remember where) someone suggested to me that the anxiety is the root of the problem. I’ve only recently come to understand the illness called anxiety. Seems to me that my dh has suffered from this all of his life. You could be right. My guess is that like the overwhelming majority of anxiety and depression sufferers he’s been self-medicating with booze to alleviate underlying anxiety and depression, perhaps since he was a teenager. The fact they flared after he stopped supports that. Booze and anxiety (and/or depression) set in train a slow but steady downward spiral. Booze increases anxiety, and anxiety increases the need for booze. I’m separately reposting information on why that happens. He’s on Celexa and Tofranil for the depression. Seroquel and Xanax for the anxiety. The neurologist prescribed Trileptal for the pain due to nerve damage. Y’all may know that one, too. It’s an anti-seizure med. I have one friend who has taken it for her anxiety/PA. So, how do you get an anxiety sufferer to face the music? First he has to understand that booze isn’t his saviour, but his anxiety and depression’s worst nightmare. Secondly, if he isn’t seeing a psychiatrist, he should. And the psychiatrist needs to be told about the drinking. He shouldn’t be drinking while taking Xanax. That is potentially very dangerous. Nor are the other three meds and alcohol a good combination. I think that his whole med regime needs to be reevaluated. Most people don’t need to take 2 antidepressants, a benzodiazepine (Xanax) and a anti psychotic (Seroquel) to control anxiety and depression. It may be that they are appropriate in you husbands case, there are people who need multiple meds, but they are few and far between. But the number one priority should be the alcohol. Good luck Ian
Response:
It is my impression that those of us on the list who are doing the best, particularly with meds, do not drink AT ALL. Boyd
The comment about the drinking really hit home. I entered that spiral, and finally hit the bottom. I have found, NOT drinking has reduced anxiety to the point where I can manage the attacks without meds. Booze and anxiety, Manus Manum Lavat "one had washes the other." As far as not talking about problems, that comes mostly with drink. If the person is in denial, they hide the fact even from themselves. On a side note, C-Span ran a history of Faulkner, and it seems the great writer when having to meet groups of people had to get drunk…..hummmm..sound familiar to us? He died before Paxil, and other meds, but I’m sure he would have benefited greatly!
Response:
:So, how do you get an anxiety sufferer to face the music? You sound like you can use some support yourself. Here is a great website check this out, you need it. http://panicdisorder.about.com/cs/forfriendsfamily/ Take care! Jackie ~~Life isn`t measured by the breathes you take, but what takes your breath away~~
Response:
I wasn’ aware of any music playing. It would seem more appropriate for you to begin to understand yourself and why you are in a relationship with this person. What is your motivation? What are you trying to accomplish? What are you hoping will happen? Attendance at Al-Anon meetings or CoDA meetings would be helpful for you. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change Courage to change the things I can And the wisdom to know the difference I would suggest self-reflection for yourself. Let us know how you progress. Peace, John – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – My husband is an anxiety/panic attack sufferer. He also has depression, diabetes and is an active alcoholic. His drinking is interfering with his meds, worsening his diabetes and has caused nerve damage in is feet. He doesn’t like to talk about his "problems". Do any of you anxiety/panic sufferers find it hard to face your mate with things that need discussing? Especially when it means you will have to change your lifestyle? Many will say that the root of this problem is the booze. However, he went through rehab last year and was sober for 4 months. This is when the panic attacks started. This is when the depression became chronic. On another board, (can’t remember where) someone suggested to me that the anxiety is the root of the problem. I’ve only recently come to understand the illness called anxiety. Seems to me that my dh has suffered from this all of his life. He’s on Celexa and Tofranil for the depression. Seroquel and Xanax for the anxiety. The neurologist prescribed Trileptal for the pain due to nerve damage. Y’all may know that one, too. It’s an anti-seizure med. I have one friend who has taken it for her anxiety/PA. So, how do you get an anxiety sufferer to face the music?
Response:
Hi Blackbird, welcome to ASAP, – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -My husband is an anxiety/panic attack sufferer. He also has depression, diabetes and is an active alcoholic. His drinking is interfering with his meds, worsening his diabetes and has caused nerve damage in is feet. He doesn’t like to talk about his "problems". Do any of you anxiety/panic sufferers find it hard to face your mate with things that need discussing? Especially when it means you will have to change your lifestyle? Many will say that the root of this problem is the booze. However, he went through rehab last year and was sober for 4 months. This is when the panic attacks started. This is when the depression became chronic. On another board, (can’t remember where) someone suggested to me that the anxiety is the root of the problem. I’ve only recently come to understand the illness called anxiety. Seems to me that my dh has suffered from this all of his life.
You could be right. My guess is that like the overwhelming majority of anxiety and depression sufferers he’s been self-medicating with booze to alleviate underlying anxiety and depression, perhaps since he was a teenager. The fact they flared after he stopped supports that. Booze and anxiety (and/or depression) set in train a slow but steady downward spiral. Booze increases anxiety, and anxiety increases the need for booze. I’m separately reposting information on why that happens. He’s on Celexa and Tofranil for the depression. Seroquel and Xanax for the anxiety. The neurologist prescribed Trileptal for the pain due to nerve damage. Y’all may know that one, too. It’s an anti-seizure med. I have one friend who has taken it for her anxiety/PA. So, how do you get an anxiety sufferer to face the music?
First he has to understand that booze isn’t his saviour, but his anxiety and depression’s worst nightmare. Secondly, if he isn’t seeing a psychiatrist, he should. And the psychiatrist needs to be told about the drinking. He shouldn’t be drinking while taking Xanax. That is potentially very dangerous. Nor are the other three meds and alcohol a good combination. I think that his whole med regime needs to be reevaluated. Most people don’t need to take 2 antidepressants, a benzodiazepine (Xanax) and a anti psychotic (Seroquel) to control anxiety and depression. It may be that they are appropriate in you husbands case, there are people who need multiple meds, but they are few and far between. But the number one priority should be the alcohol. Good luck Ian
Response:
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: My husband is an anxiety/panic attack sufferer. He also has : depression, diabetes and is an active alcoholic. His drinking is : interfering with his meds, worsening his diabetes and has caused nerve : damage in is feet. : : He doesn’t like to talk about his "problems". Do any of you : anxiety/panic sufferers find it hard to face your mate with things : that need discussing? Especially when it means you will have to : change your lifestyle? : : Many will say that the root of this problem is the booze. However, he : went through rehab last year and was sober for 4 months. This is when : the panic attacks started. This is when the depression became : chronic. On another board, (can’t remember where) someone suggested : to me that the anxiety is the root of the problem. I’ve only recently : come to understand the illness called anxiety. Seems to me that my dh : has suffered from this all of his life. : : He’s on Celexa and Tofranil for the depression. Seroquel and Xanax : for the anxiety. The neurologist prescribed Trileptal for the pain : due to nerve damage. Y’all may know that one, too. It’s an : anti-seizure med. I have one friend who has taken it for her : anxiety/PA. : : So, how do you get an anxiety sufferer to face the music? that goes with anyone in any difficult circumstance…..we all can’t be egotistical to think we could "fix" them or make them face things.. only the person can do this for themself…. However, you can find out what this is all about …….read about anxiety, talk to people so you can cope…..give him the margin to express himself…even if he is not a talker, let him know you are there but will give him room to do what he can…. Cheryl
Response:
Dear Blackbird: I’ve read your post carefully and while you have some of it right, most has been twisted around. The real problem is getting your husband to face the music about his drinking problem, not his problem with anxiety. I am very familiar dealing with someone I love who has/had a problem with alcohol so please know I understand where you are coming from. It is not the anxiety that is making him have a hard time to face you with his problems or concerns that need talking about. It is inability to express himself that may come from any number places. Because he can’t or won’t face his problems head on, he has stuffed them and uses alcohol to medicate the inner pain he must be feeling. This is not unusual. He also is probably using alcohol to medicate his anxiety. It’s sort of like a vicious cycle that never ends. One thing he should not be doing is taking medication and drinking at the same time. This could possibly lead to a deadly situation. My suggestion to you is to get in touch with his doctor ASAP and let him know about your husband’s drinking while taking his meds. I sincerely hope this doctor has knowledge of alcoholism….sadly it is not unusual for a doctor to just shrug his shoulders and tell you there is nothing to worry about. If this should happen, then I would call your local hospital and ask to speak to an alcoholic councilor on staff. This is very important…..I repeat myself – the combination of alcohol and medication can prove deadly in a number of ways, one of which is his ability to drive, make quick judgments, etc. It may also effect his liver function where most of the meds you mention are passed through. I am not a doctor, so that last statement might not be written right, but I know a proper functioning liver is important when taking medications like anti-depressants and benzos (Xanax) He is taking two different anti-depressants and two different anti-anxiety drugs, all of which are heavy duty meds. I again suggest you getting in touch with his doctor pronto. I also suggest that you begin attending Al-anon meetings if you are not already. You will find strength, hope, and a way to cope with living with an active alcoholic while saving your sanity and finding serenity while the alcoholic is still drinking. Please do not take this wrong, but you are already taking on a job that should be left in your husband’s hands. He is making choices that are not well-thought out, but that is his right to do so. I know you love him and want to help him as much as possible, but sometimes the very things we do out of love keeps the alcoholic drinking….we rescue him from the consequences of his actions and decisions, which just stops him from reaching his bottom where he must reach out for help. It may seem like I am talking out of both sides of my mouth…telling you to call his doctor and then saying you are only saving him from reaching his bottom. However in this case, with the digestion of alcohol and medications, I feel your intervention is necessary. But the end result still lays in your husband’s hands. If he decides to still keep on drinking and taking the meds after the doctor talks to him, then you must let go and accept that you have no control over another person’s decisions. I know this is extremely hard, but Al-anon and its members are there to help you. And so am I. Please feel free to email me as often as you care to. I am here to listen and share with you my experience, strength, and hope. I hope I have been of some help. As we say in Al-anon, let go and let God, one day at a time. It is not unusual for someone to self-medicate with alcohol to ease depression, not knowing that they are only making things worse. Alcohol is a depressive and it is certainly counteracting the anti-depression meds he is taking.
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – My husband is an anxiety/panic attack sufferer. He also has depression, diabetes and is an active alcoholic. His drinking is interfering with his meds, worsening his diabetes and has caused nerve damage in is feet. He doesn’t like to talk about his "problems". Do any of you anxiety/panic sufferers find it hard to face your mate with things that need discussing? Especially when it means you will have to change your lifestyle? Many will say that the root of this problem is the booze. However, he went through rehab last year and was sober for 4 months. This is when the panic attacks started. This is when the depression became chronic. On another board, (can’t remember where) someone suggested to me that the anxiety is the root of the problem. I’ve only recently come to understand the illness called anxiety. Seems to me that my dh has suffered from this all of his life. He’s on Celexa and Tofranil for the depression. Seroquel and Xanax for the anxiety. The neurologist prescribed Trileptal for the pain due to nerve damage. Y’all may know that one, too. It’s an anti-seizure med. I have one friend who has taken it for her anxiety/PA. So, how do you get an anxiety sufferer to face the music?
Response:
My husband is an anxiety/panic attack sufferer. He also has depression, diabetes and is an active alcoholic. His drinking is interfering with his meds, worsening his diabetes and has caused nerve damage in is feet. He doesn’t like to talk about his "problems". Do any of you anxiety/panic sufferers find it hard to face your mate with things that need discussing? Especially when it means you will have to change your lifestyle? Many will say that the root of this problem is the booze. However, he went through rehab last year and was sober for 4 months. This is when the panic attacks started. This is when the depression became chronic. On another board, (can’t remember where) someone suggested to me that the anxiety is the root of the problem. I’ve only recently come to understand the illness called anxiety. Seems to me that my dh has suffered from this all of his life. He’s on Celexa and Tofranil for the depression. Seroquel and Xanax for the anxiety. The neurologist prescribed Trileptal for the pain due to nerve damage. Y’all may know that one, too. It’s an anti-seizure med. I have one friend who has taken it for her anxiety/PA. So, how do you get an anxiety sufferer to face the music?
