doctor Jeri
Question:
you hit it on the old nail head, when I am really anxious and I’m suppose to think things thru rationally, I am lucky just to hold onto my sanity. rational thought does work and it is one of the effective tools I use now, but after 25 yrs of anxiety in one form or another and all the baggage that goes with it, most people just don’t get how hard it can be
Absolutely but I think we have to try to see it from their point of view as well. For somebody who has never felt so panic stricken that they can’t move, it is impossible for them to even try to imagine the feeling it gives a person. It would be like asking me to imagine how it feels to have a tattoo done. I can not imagine pain that I haven’t felt. I don’t believe that anybody allows themselves to imagine real pain. It’s as if our minds block it. Be it physical or mental pain I believe the same applies. I Still am really proud for you,
Thank you Jim. That means a lot to me! one of my rational thoughts (one that I can really believe in), is there were situation that caused extreme anxiety in me that I don’t have any problems with now, if I solved those situations I can solve others
Excellent thinking and so true! If somebody had told me 2 years ago that I had to move home a great distance and start a new life in a strange city , I would have been absolutely panic stricken. Even now just thinking about how I felt at that time sends my anxiety up. The amazing news is that I did it! I decided and did it in a month. My only explanation of this sudden bravado is that I believed I could do it. I talked to myself so much, arguing with the negative thoughts about why not to do it. I won’t say that it was an easy time, it was very tough going but I now use that incident in my life when I have these nasty negatives buzzing around in my head. I try to focus on the fact that I believed in myself then so why not now? Some days it works, others it doesn’t but on those days that it does work I then have another positive to fight the nasty negatives with 
I will now stop rambling, I’ve been without adult conversation most of the day so I’m getting a bit carried away now. If I’m not careful I will start telling you what a day I’ve had with the children. LOL Keep moving forward Jim! 
Love from Caz..x — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
Jim, Keep on doing the best you can… And remember we are all here for you. smiles Elise
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I thank you, (and God) for that support it came at a critical time for me. At that time, my anxiety was causing a lot of family stress, and I did feel completely alone. (look up in the sky, it a bird, its a plane, no, its ASPAM to the rescue) and seriously, I really don’t think I can thank you and all others on this site enough Jim Hi, Jim, This is a good support system for you and I commend your wife on taking an active interest in your condition. Certainly there are issues other simply don’t comprehend and you can’t explain to them. A person has to live the h*ll of pd to know how it can affect their life. That’s what’s great about ASAPM – support, support, support… smiles, Elise Jeri is my wife, she read up about agrophobia and seem to be interested in my problems (as apposed to the blank stare of denial) This is a relief to me, I have been honest and open to her for the last 2yrs about my problems (as much as possible) She did tell me that I was afraid of the panic attacks and that is causing my problems, it’s a start for her,bless her I welcome her help, I did tell her that I felt more comfortable discussing what works and don’t works with people that share similiar disorder, as they are less likely to over simplify the problems Might need your help in dealing with this, there are things she could never understand fully by reading a book and there might be times that my anxiety clouds my judgement Jim — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
– The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
She undoubtedly loves you endlessly I’m a hopeless romantic! I doubt she bit off more than she can chew. Thank you for your kind words. What a nice thing for you to say. I don’t feel I contribute enough here since I can’t sit too long. I always feel like I ask for help more than I GIVE help 
Never good enough…ya know? That hug and kiss on the cheek was deeply appreciated. Hugs, Gigglz
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – She probably bit off more than she can chew but I do appreciate her effort.I thank you for your support it makes this group so much more wonderful with you here Hugging you back with a lite kiss on you cheek ( a standard greeting to friends and family for me) Jim Jeri is my wife, she read up about agrophobia and seem to be interested in my problems (as apposed to the blank stare of denial) This is a relief to me, I have been honest and open to her for the last 2yrs about my problems (as much as possible) She did tell me that I was afraid of the panic attacks and that is causing my problems, it’s a start for her,bless her I welcome her help, I did tell her that I felt more comfortable discussing what works and don’t works with people that share similiar disorder, as they are less likely to over simplify the problems Might need your help in dealing with this, there are things she could never understand fully by reading a book and there might be times that my anxiety clouds my judgement Jim I’m glad she is understanding this! A very positive step for you. Of course, we’re always here for you. This is a wonderful place to be Hugs, Gigglz — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
– The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
I take the blame for much of the problem I isolating her from it all the years I lived in denial and she had to live though my acohol problems as I tried to drown my problems away I ended up overly attached to her as a caregiver, even if all I said was I didn’t feel good, just to talk to her started to make me feel normal there came a time I had to seperate myself from this behavior toward her, when I realized that it is only within me to take care of this disorder, then I was able to start loving her in a more healthy way, more as a partner in life and don’t blame her anymore when I feel that she "not there for me" I think she responded to this more healthy love I have for her (I do love her very much) and ironically she ends up wanting to be a caregiver to me or at least she wants to help. I can only control what I do and I’m not all that good at doing that (LOL) and try to except the up and downs that go with relationships, I can say that bravely now, but its hard to except sometimes Thank you for the web-site, I am amazed at how you always pull those out of your hat ((((jackie)))) Jim
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – :Jeri is my wife, she read up about agrophobia and seem to be interested in :my problems (as apposed to the blank stare of denial) : This is a relief to me, I have been honest and open to her for the last :2yrs about my problems (as much as possible) : She did tell me that I was afraid of the panic attacks and that is causing :my problems, it’s a start for her,bless her : I welcome her help, I did tell her that I felt more comfortable discussing :what works and don’t works with people that share similiar disorder, as they :are less likely to over simplify the problems : Might need your help in dealing with this, there are things she could never :understand fully by reading a book and there might be times that my anxiety :clouds my judgement Dear Jim, I`m so glad for you that your wife is taking an interest in your disorder. I wish my husband would do the same but he refuses to. It is something that If there is anything we can do for you and Jeri, just ask and we will do everything we can to help you. This could be a good website for your wife. The 7th link is especially informative. http://panicdisorder.about.com/cs/forfriendsfamily/ {{{{{Jim}}}}} Jackie ~*~Tears spill out, only because I feel so much, it can’t all fit inside~*~ — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
– The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
She probably bit off more than she can chew but I do appreciate her effort.I thank you for your support it makes this group so much more wonderful with you here Hugging you back with a lite kiss on you cheek ( a standard greeting to friends and family for me) Jim
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Jeri is my wife, she read up about agrophobia and seem to be interested in my problems (as apposed to the blank stare of denial) This is a relief to me, I have been honest and open to her for the last 2yrs about my problems (as much as possible) She did tell me that I was afraid of the panic attacks and that is causing my problems, it’s a start for her,bless her I welcome her help, I did tell her that I felt more comfortable discussing what works and don’t works with people that share similiar disorder, as they are less likely to over simplify the problems Might need your help in dealing with this, there are things she could never understand fully by reading a book and there might be times that my anxiety clouds my judgement Jim I’m glad she is understanding this! A very positive step for you. Of course, we’re always here for you. This is a wonderful place to be Hugs, Gigglz — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
– The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
:Jeri is my wife, she read up about agrophobia and seem to be interested in :my problems (as apposed to the blank stare of denial) : This is a relief to me, I have been honest and open to her for the last :2yrs about my problems (as much as possible) : She did tell me that I was afraid of the panic attacks and that is causing :my problems, it’s a start for her,bless her : I welcome her help, I did tell her that I felt more comfortable discussing :what works and don’t works with people that share similiar disorder, as they :are less likely to over simplify the problems : Might need your help in dealing with this, there are things she could never :understand fully by reading a book and there might be times that my anxiety :clouds my judgement Dear Jim, I`m so glad for you that your wife is taking an interest in your disorder. I wish my husband would do the same but he refuses to. It is something that If there is anything we can do for you and Jeri, just ask and we will do everything we can to help you. This could be a good website for your wife. The 7th link is especially informative. http://panicdisorder.about.com/cs/forfriendsfamily/ {{{{{Jim}}}}} Jackie ~*~Tears spill out, only because I feel so much, it can’t all fit inside~*~ — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
The support is very helpfull but the hugs and where the biggest surprise for me, the love and friendship i get with this group touches me deeply Love Jim
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I’m so glad your wife is taking an interest in this disorder, Jim. That’s what we’re here for too – support, and hugs. :-) Hugs, Di Jeri is my wife, she read up about agrophobia and seem to be interested in my problems (as apposed to the blank stare of denial) This is a relief to me, I have been honest and open to her for the last 2yrs about my problems (as much as possible) She did tell me that I was afraid of the panic attacks and that is causing my problems, it’s a start for her,bless her I welcome her help, I did tell her that I felt more comfortable discussing what works and don’t works with people that share similiar disorder, as they are less likely to over simplify the problems Might need your help in dealing with this, there are things she could never understand fully by reading a book and there might be times that my anxiety clouds my judgement Jim — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
– The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
I thank you, (and God) for that support it came at a critical time for me. At that time, my anxiety was causing a lot of family stress, and I did feel completely alone. (look up in the sky, it a bird, its a plane, no, its ASPAM to the rescue) and seriously, I really don’t think I can thank you and all others on this site enough Jim
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hi, Jim, This is a good support system for you and I commend your wife on taking an active interest in your condition. Certainly there are issues other simply don’t comprehend and you can’t explain to them. A person has to live the h*ll of pd to know how it can affect their life. That’s what’s great about ASAPM – support, support, support… smiles, Elise Jeri is my wife, she read up about agrophobia and seem to be interested in my problems (as apposed to the blank stare of denial) This is a relief to me, I have been honest and open to her for the last 2yrs about my problems (as much as possible) She did tell me that I was afraid of the panic attacks and that is causing my problems, it’s a start for her,bless her I welcome her help, I did tell her that I felt more comfortable discussing what works and don’t works with people that share similiar disorder, as they are less likely to over simplify the problems Might need your help in dealing with this, there are things she could never understand fully by reading a book and there might be times that my anxiety clouds my judgement Jim — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
– The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
you hit it on the old nail head, when I am really anxious and I’m suppose to think things thru rationally, I am lucky just to hold onto my sanity. rational thought does work and it is one of the effective tools I use now, but after 25 yrs of anxiety in one form or another and all the baggage that goes with it, most people just don’t get how hard it can be I Still am really proud for you, one of my rational thoughts (one that I can really believe in), is there were situation that caused extreme anxiety in me that I don’t have any problems with now, if I solved those situations I can solve others Jim
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Jeri is my wife, she read up about agrophobia and seem to be interested in my problems (as apposed to the blank stare of denial) This is a relief to me, I have been honest and open to her for the last 2yrs about my problems (as much as possible) She did tell me that I was afraid of the panic attacks and that is causing my problems, it’s a start for her,bless her I welcome her help, I did tell her that I felt more comfortable discussing what works and don’t works with people that share similiar disorder, as they are less likely to over simplify the problems Might need your help in dealing with this, there are things she could never understand fully by reading a book and there might be times that my anxiety clouds my judgement Jim Hi Jim This is great news that Jeri is reading up about your disorder. She may not ever be able to actually "feel" what it’s like (Thank Goodness!) but hopefully with lots of reading you will make more sense to her. lol. I understand your feeling that Jeri will never fully understand as I have a very good friend who is supportive but he just doesn’t "get it" with me sometimes. He thinks I am totally illogical in my thinking. Well, YES! If I told him half of my thoughts I think he would believe me to be totally off my rocker. LOL.. On the good side, when my friend points out the irrational thoughts going through my head it does make me sit back and rethink (sometimes). Maybe we need non anxious people to help kick us into action sometimes? Love from Caz..x — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
– The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
I’m so glad your wife is taking an interest in this disorder, Jim. That’s what we’re here for too – support, and hugs. :-) Hugs, Di
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Jeri is my wife, she read up about agrophobia and seem to be interested in my problems (as apposed to the blank stare of denial) This is a relief to me, I have been honest and open to her for the last 2yrs about my problems (as much as possible) She did tell me that I was afraid of the panic attacks and that is causing my problems, it’s a start for her,bless her I welcome her help, I did tell her that I felt more comfortable discussing what works and don’t works with people that share similiar disorder, as they are less likely to over simplify the problems Might need your help in dealing with this, there are things she could never understand fully by reading a book and there might be times that my anxiety clouds my judgement Jim
– The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Jeri is my wife, she read up about agrophobia and seem to be interested in my problems (as apposed to the blank stare of denial) This is a relief to me, I have been honest and open to her for the last 2yrs about my problems (as much as possible) She did tell me that I was afraid of the panic attacks and that is causing my problems, it’s a start for her,bless her I welcome her help, I did tell her that I felt more comfortable discussing what works and don’t works with people that share similiar disorder, as they are less likely to over simplify the problems Might need your help in dealing with this, there are things she could never understand fully by reading a book and there might be times that my anxiety clouds my judgement Jim
I’m glad she is understanding this! A very positive step for you. Of course, we’re always here for you. This is a wonderful place to be Hugs, Gigglz — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Jeri is my wife, she read up about agrophobia and seem to be interested in my problems (as apposed to the blank stare of denial) This is a relief to me, I have been honest and open to her for the last 2yrs about my problems (as much as possible) She did tell me that I was afraid of the panic attacks and that is causing my problems, it’s a start for her,bless her I welcome her help, I did tell her that I felt more comfortable discussing what works and don’t works with people that share similiar disorder, as they are less likely to over simplify the problems Might need your help in dealing with this, there are things she could never understand fully by reading a book and there might be times that my anxiety clouds my judgement Jim
Hi Jim This is great news that Jeri is reading up about your disorder. She may not ever be able to actually "feel" what it’s like (Thank Goodness!) but hopefully with lots of reading you will make more sense to her. lol. I understand your feeling that Jeri will never fully understand as I have a very good friend who is supportive but he just doesn’t "get it" with me sometimes. He thinks I am totally illogical in my thinking. Well, YES! If I told him half of my thoughts I think he would believe me to be totally off my rocker. LOL.. On the good side, when my friend points out the irrational thoughts going through my head it does make me sit back and rethink (sometimes). Maybe we need non anxious people to help kick us into action sometimes? Love from Caz..x — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
Jeri is my wife, she read up about agrophobia and seem to be interested in my problems (as apposed to the blank stare of denial) This is a relief to me, I have been honest and open to her for the last 2yrs about my problems (as much as possible) She did tell me that I was afraid of the panic attacks and that is causing my problems, it’s a start for her,bless her I welcome her help, I did tell her that I felt more comfortable discussing what works and don’t works with people that share similiar disorder, as they are less likely to over simplify the problems Might need your help in dealing with this, there are things she could never understand fully by reading a book and there might be times that my anxiety clouds my judgement Jim — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
Hi, Jim, This is a good support system for you and I commend your wife on taking an active interest in your condition. Certainly there are issues other simply don’t comprehend and you can’t explain to them. A person has to live the h*ll of pd to know how it can affect their life. That’s what’s great about ASAPM – support, support, support… smiles, Elise
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Jeri is my wife, she read up about agrophobia and seem to be interested in my problems (as apposed to the blank stare of denial) This is a relief to me, I have been honest and open to her for the last 2yrs about my problems (as much as possible) She did tell me that I was afraid of the panic attacks and that is causing my problems, it’s a start for her,bless her I welcome her help, I did tell her that I felt more comfortable discussing what works and don’t works with people that share similiar disorder, as they are less likely to over simplify the problems Might need your help in dealing with this, there are things she could never understand fully by reading a book and there might be times that my anxiety clouds my judgement Jim — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
– The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
