Help me help my boyfriend
Question:
My live-in boyfriend of 2 years has been experiencing severe panic attacks for the last two weeks. This week he was prescribed Xanax and Zoloft but he is unable to keep taking them because of the side effects he is experiencing. He has lost 20 lbs in 9 days (and was skinny to begin with). I have taken a leave of absence from work to care for him. He doesn’t want me to leave him alone. I can’t even leave the house. I feel so helpless because I can’t do anything for him. I want to help him. Is there anything I can do? Please e-mail me any responses. Thank you. Renee
Response:
Wowee Zowee Renee. Sounds like the Doc went from zero to sixty with your boyfriend. I was prescribed just Xanax for 3 years before anything else was given (Celexa). The Xanax was probably given to "chill him out" for the ride. SSRI’s can provide immense relief but the transition is a very rocky ride. Most symptoms caused by the Zoloft should diminish within 2-3 weeks (i’m guessing). Any attacks prior? Is this a climax of anxiety over time? Is the Doc a therapist or internist-that can make a major difference in perspective of his illness. Actually most therapists view anxiety as a condition long in the making and its only recently that they proved it is genetic. If this is all "out-of-the-blue"? I’d ask for a second opinion if this is the case. No doctor is perfect. Maybe it is a misdiagnosis? Anxiety is pretty trendy right now. Is he not taking either one? SSRI’s really can’t be taken "Stop N Go" but of the two Xanax probably offers the most immediate relief if taken at a consistent pace. It has a short half-life which means that it wears off in about 6 hours or so. I don’t know how it was prescribed but divide the day equally with dosage, maybe ending the day with a slightly larger dose to make it through the night. Xanax is addictive but it might settle him down well enough to start the Zoloft as it should be started and he can wean later (like I am currently doing). Like I said, it sounds like too much, too soon. Anxiety is self-perpetuating. You have an attack and then you become anxious about the POSSIBILITY of another one enough to actually create another attack. Let me know how tomorrow goes, Renee. Denise Hang in there. He’s very lucky you are beside him.
Response:
My first thoughts, from personal experience, are to get back on the meds. Especially the Xanax for short-term, quick relief. There are quite a few choices when it comes to the SSRIs and everyone seems to have their favorite. SSRI’s take 4 to 6 weeks to kick in so he needs to continue taking them to see results. Ask your Dr. about other SSRIs (Prozac, Paxil, et al) Secondly he needs to begin some type of therapy. Cognitive therapy worked well for me. There are several good titles at the bookstore dealing with this subject matter. He needs to see a Dr. who specializes in Anxiety and Panic. Other short term "fixes" might include: finding his "safe place" where he feels least likely to have a PA. Has anything happened lately that might have triggered to onset of PA (e.g., loss of job or a loved-one, talk of marriage <G). Try to ease the immediate symptoms to get him "normal" and look at proper meds and therapy for long term survival. Good luck
Response:
Dear Renee, I don’t know what it is like to be on that side of the fence,because I am the one with Panic and depression. But I can tell you that right now your boyfriend needs you very much. It takes time for the meds. My boyfriend did not uderstand my condition but, now he has learned alot abut it and he tries to understand it. No one can know what it is like unless the have it and thank God you don’t. I say stick with him and do all you can but don’t baby him. He needs your support not your pity. Barb
Response:
This is not my situation, and this post does not refer to me. I am not sure who you are speaking to. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Dear Renee, I don’t know what it is like to be on that side of the fence,because I am the one with Panic and depression. But I can tell you that right now your boyfriend needs you very much. It takes time for the meds. My boyfriend did not uderstand my condition but, now he has learned alot abut it and he tries to understand it. No one can know what it is like unless the have it and thank God you don’t. I say stick with him and do all you can but don’t baby him. He needs your support not your pity. Barb
Response:
Renee, This post is directed to GORDON RENEE who wrote the original post. It is not directed at you. Cathy P.H.O.B.I.A. People Helping Others Become Independent Again Off-line Panic/Anxiety Support Group Learn about us at http://community.nj.com/cc/phobia
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – This is not my situation, and this post does not refer to me. I am not sure who you are speaking to. Dear Renee, I don’t know what it is like to be on that side of the fence,because I am the one with Panic and depression. But I can tell you that right now your boyfriend needs you very much. It takes time for the meds. My boyfriend did not uderstand my condition but, now he has learned alot abut it and he tries to understand it. No one can know what it is like unless the have it and thank God you don’t. I say stick with him and do all you can but don’t baby him. He needs your support not your pity. Barb
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Dear Renee, I don’t know what it is like to be on that side of the fence,because I am the one with Panic and depression. But I can tell you that right now your boyfriend needs you very much. It takes time for the meds. My boyfriend did not uderstand my condition but, now he has learned alot abut it and he tries to understand it. No one can know what it is like unless the have it and thank God you don’t. I say stick with him and do all you can but don’t baby him. He needs your support not your pity. Barb Hey Barb!
I actually got in contact with the "Renee" you refer to-(I’m noticing your post is old-sorry if this all seems like ancient history). I got her to write a couple of times and I’ve been trying to include her in a small women’s group mail I have going…I had to really search for her;I was really rattled by her post, too. I think she’s doing better but she does seem very shy. I just sent her an e-mail (a "just hello" kind of thing). If she writes back, I’ll let her know that other people were wishing well for her. (Hopefully Renee will at least stick with this newsgroup! Writing it out is even better than talking, I’ve found!) Thanks for being a Good Person, Barb. D.Clark – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text –
