poll on PD / AD + my dodgy poetry
Question:
Thanks Steph. — Andy
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hi guys, I had a question or 2 for you all. How long have you guys had PD / AD for and how long did it take you to get it under control? Im just wondering because Im now coming up for 5 months of having PD, the first 3 months I propabaly should have been locked up, I cant remember much of february, apart from the scars on my wrists to remind me of how messed up I was. Now I guess I have the same emotions and symptoms as I had a few months back but have learnt to deal with them and control them, but I still have my bad moments. Every day I feel this way. and pray that it will go away. So tiered of feeling sad. emotions that hurt so bad. I just want to feel the light. and see the end in sight. To be whole once more. and take back the life I had before. hmmmm, not to bad for a 30 second poem. Oh well, I’m off for a another glass of red and a Xanax : ) Have a good weekend guys… Love and Hugs as always. Andy…. < having another burnout friday after pushing all week to keep my life together Hi Andy, I hope your weekend had some nice moments 
I can relate to the "burnout". I first discovered I had PAD in 1989. It did not take very long for me to become housebound. After about 3 years, I made a lifechange. I moved and started over with of course the help of someone I knew. I did very well for awhile and then boom! Setback. I overcame that but have since had some ups and downs which are not as bad as they used to be because I did find during all this the right meds for me. I have been hospitalized 4 times and been through major therapy, CBT being the best for me. I hope you have a great week! Steph
Response:
This has been my misery for 3 weeks .Its scarey..very scarey.
Dont be scared, Its a natural part of having PD, learning as much as I could about the disorder, and why I felt this way and relising that it is Ok and normal to get the shakes ect help me to deal with things a lot. Sometimes we are put in troubled times to make us stronger.
I know I had to go through this to get other areas of my life sorted out… It was kinda like God was taping me on the shoulder going "hey get your shit together", But I keeped ignoring him/her. So God’s gone cop this if your what I meen. — Andy
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – andy i dont think i even have the right to responde to you seeing how i had my first panic attack only 3 weeks ago. Not sure i will be able to handle months or even years of these, But i do know what it is like to want to feel whole again . To think maybe you will never be the same .maybe you will never look at something you once looked at and still smile. to want to run away or go "home" and there is no resting place to go cause wherever you run to you will still be there. This has been my misery for 3 weeks .Its scarey..very scarey. ANd i am sorry you are hurting so badly. My prayers and thought are with you. Your post and poem touched me so much that i just wanted to write back and let you know that you are being thght about and prayed for . God Bless Sometimes we are put in troubled times to make us stronger. John 16:33 " I have told you these things,so that in me you will have peace.In this world you will have trouble.But take heart! I have overcome the world."
Response:
Hi Andy, For me 14 years . I am much better with it now and you will be too. There comes a point where you begin to understand what is happening in your body and although it is still scarey you learn how to deal with it. You know when those chemicals start kicking in and your body is only going to take so much. I don’t know about anyone else here, but there came a point for me when anger took over. Also for me a good old fashioned crying jag really relieved some of the anxiety. I LOVE my Xanax. Don’t care what people think about it being addictive. It works! About your poem: Good, but sad! ((((Andy)))) Hang in there, Debbie
Image by FlamingText.com
Response:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hi guys, I had a question or 2 for you all. How long have you guys had PD / AD for and how long did it take you to get it under control? Im just wondering because Im now coming up for 5 months of having PD, the first 3 months I propabaly should have been locked up, I cant remember much of february, apart from the scars on my wrists to remind me of how messed up I was. Now I guess I have the same emotions and symptoms as I had a few months back but have learnt to deal with them and control them, but I still have my bad moments. Every day I feel this way. and pray that it will go away. So tiered of feeling sad. emotions that hurt so bad. I just want to feel the light. and see the end in sight. To be whole once more. and take back the life I had before. hmmmm, not to bad for a 30 second poem. Oh well, I’m off for a another glass of red and a Xanax : ) Have a good weekend guys… Love and Hugs as always. Andy…. < having another burnout friday after pushing all week to keep my life together
Hi Andy, I have had PD for about 6 – 7 years (not sure). It took some months before I had a diagnosis. That is because I initially had a variety of symptoms but no full blown panic attacks. Once diagnosed I made reasonable progress but I am aware I need to monitor my stress levels. I have just had a very hectic, stressful week so I am deliberately taking it easy this weekend. I believe my life is OK. I have normal ups and downs. I haven’t had a full-blown panic attack for about 2 years. Then again I recognise my triggers and have learnt to avert attacks. I still sometimes recognise the onset of symptoms and have a range of strategies that I can use, and of course I have my trusty Xanax. I’m not sure I want the life I had before. I think PD has made me more aware of looking after myself. Take it easy, Meryl
Response:
There comes a point where you begin to understand what is happening in your body and although it is still scarey you learn how to deal with it.
Yeah, I’ve got the Pd thing under control for the most part. Then all of a suden It’s to much for me to take emotionaly again. — Andy Hi Andy, For me 14 years . I am much better with it now and you will be too. There comes a point where you begin to understand what is happening in your body and although it is still scarey you learn how to deal with it. You know when those chemicals start kicking in and your body is only going to take so much. I don’t know about anyone else here, but there came a point for me when anger took over. Also for me a good old fashioned crying jag really relieved some of the anxiety. I LOVE my Xanax. Don’t care what people think about it being addictive. It works! About your poem: Good, but sad! ((((Andy)))) Hang in there, Debbie Image by FlamingText.com
Response:
What do you play, I’ve been playing guitar for 15 years now. — Andy news.ttlc.net… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hi Andy, Have has anxiety off and on for 11 years. I loved your poem. Being a musician, melodies already come to mind. Take care, Liz Hi guys, I had a question or 2 for you all. How long have you guys had PD / AD for and how long did it take you to get it under control? Im just wondering because Im now coming up for 5 months of having PD, the first 3 months I propabaly should have been locked up, I cant remember much of february, apart from the scars on my wrists to remind me of how messed up I was. Now I guess I have the same emotions and symptoms as I had a few months back but have learnt to deal with them and control them, but I still have my bad moments. Every day I feel this way. and pray that it will go away. So tiered of feeling sad. emotions that hurt so bad. I just want to feel the light. and see the end in sight. To be whole once more. and take back the life I had before. hmmmm, not to bad for a 30 second poem. Oh well, I’m off for a another glass of red and a Xanax : ) Have a good weekend guys… Love and Hugs as always. Andy…. < having another burnout friday after pushing all week to keep my life together — Problems are only opportunities in work clothes. –Henry Kaiser
Response:
Nice poem!! Be careful of mixing Xanax with alcohol, it is a dangerous combination, I just worry for you, okay?
Thanks ((((((((Jackie))))))))). I know I’m alright on the Xanax and alcohol because I used to go out all night drinking and have 4 or 5mg’s of the stuff, at the time I didn’t care if I OD. Now I only have .5 to 1 mg and a few glasses of red to relax me if I’m really stressed. — Andy
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Andy wrote…… I had a question or 2 for you all. How long have you guys had PD / AD for and how long did it take you to get it under control? Im just wondering because Im now coming up for 5 months of having PD, the first 3 months I propabaly should have been locked up, I cant remember much of february, apart from the scars on my wrists to remind me of how messed up I was. Now I guess I have the same emotions and symptoms as I had a few months back but have learnt to deal with them and control them, but I still have my bad moments. This July will be 20 years of having panic disorder. I didn`t seek any help until after 6 years, that didn`t do much for me then I did CBT in 89 and that gave me almost 7 good years. I had a bad setback from 96 to 98, went on paxil in 98 and have been doing real well ever since. There have been more good years than bad during that 20 year period. Nice poem!! Be careful of mixing Xanax with alcohol, it is a dangerous combination, I just worry for you, okay? {{{{{Andy}}}}} Jackie ~*~The world breaks us all. Afterward, some are stronger at the broken
places.
Response:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Hi guys, I had a question or 2 for you all. How long have you guys had PD / AD for and how long did it take you to get it under control? Im just wondering because Im now coming up for 5 months of having PD, the first 3 months I propabaly should have been locked up, I cant remember much of february, apart from the scars on my wrists to remind me of how messed up I was. Now I guess I have the same emotions and symptoms as I had a few months back but have learnt to deal with them and control them, but I still have my bad moments. Every day I feel this way. and pray that it will go away. So tiered of feeling sad. emotions that hurt so bad. I just want to feel the light. and see the end in sight. To be whole once more. and take back the life I had before. hmmmm, not to bad for a 30 second poem. Oh well, I’m off for a another glass of red and a Xanax : ) Have a good weekend guys… Love and Hugs as always. Andy…. < having another burnout friday after pushing all week to keep my life together
Hi Andy, I hope your weekend had some nice moments I can relate to the "burnout". I first discovered I had PAD in 1989. It did not take very long for me to become housebound. After about 3 years, I made a lifechange. I moved and started over with of course the help of someone I knew. I did very well for awhile and then boom! Setback. I overcame that but have since had some ups and downs which are not as bad as they used to be because I did find during all this the right meds for me. I have been hospitalized 4 times and been through major therapy, CBT being the best for me. I hope you have a great week! Steph
Response:
Ta, : ) — Andy
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – — TC3 Hi guys, I had a question or 2 for you all. How long have you guys had PD / AD I think it was showing up in bits and peices in nursing school years ago but the full monty came in 1996 I think….. for and how long did it take you to get it under control? The right concoction of meds came in November of 1999 I think(I am bad with months/dates)…however, I don’t think I will ever have control….it just slips out and wreaks havoc now and then….. Im just wondering because Im now coming up for 5 months of having PD, the first 3 months I propabaly should have been locked up, I cant remember much of february, apart from the scars on my wrists to remind me of how messed up I was. Now I guess I have the same emotions and symptoms as I had a few months back but have learnt to deal with them and control them, but I still have my bad moments. Every day I feel this way. and pray that it will go away. So tiered of feeling sad. emotions that hurt so bad. I just want to feel the light. and see the end in sight. To be whole once more. and take back the life I had before. This is wonderful, I have save it…it is so much how I feel especially today. hmmmm, not to bad for a 30 second poem. Oh well, I’m off for a another glass of red and a Xanax : ) Have a good weekend guys… Love and Hugs as always. Love to you Andy…..keep hanging in and keep the poetry coming.. that was perfect. loveCheryl Andy…. < having another burnout friday after pushing all week to keep my life together
Response:
Hi Andy, Have has anxiety off and on for 11 years. I loved your poem. Being a musician, melodies already come to mind. Take care, Liz – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hi guys, I had a question or 2 for you all. How long have you guys had PD / AD for and how long did it take you to get it under control? Im just wondering because Im now coming up for 5 months of having PD, the first 3 months I propabaly should have been locked up, I cant remember much of february, apart from the scars on my wrists to remind me of how messed up I was. Now I guess I have the same emotions and symptoms as I had a few months back but have learnt to deal with them and control them, but I still have my bad moments. Every day I feel this way. and pray that it will go away. So tiered of feeling sad. emotions that hurt so bad. I just want to feel the light. and see the end in sight. To be whole once more. and take back the life I had before. hmmmm, not to bad for a 30 second poem. Oh well, I’m off for a another glass of red and a Xanax : ) Have a good weekend guys… Love and Hugs as always. Andy…. < having another burnout friday after pushing all week to keep my life together
– Problems are only opportunities in work clothes. –Henry Kaiser
Response:
Andy wrote…… I had a question or 2 for you all. How long have you guys had PD / AD for and how long did it take you to get it under control? Im just wondering because Im now coming up for 5 months of having PD, the first 3 months I propabaly should have been locked up, I cant remember much of february, apart from the scars on my wrists to remind me of how messed up I was. Now I guess I have the same emotions and symptoms as I had a few months back but have learnt to deal with them and control them, but I still have my bad moments.
This July will be 20 years of having panic disorder. I didn`t seek any help until after 6 years, that didn`t do much for me then I did CBT in 89 and that gave me almost 7 good years. I had a bad setback from 96 to 98, went on paxil in 98 and have been doing real well ever since. There have been more good years than bad during that 20 year period. Nice poem!! Be careful of mixing Xanax with alcohol, it is a dangerous combination, I just worry for you, okay? {{{{{Andy}}}}} Jackie ~*~The world breaks us all. Afterward, some are stronger at the broken places.
Response:
andy i dont think i even have the right to responde to you seeing how i had my first panic attack only 3 weeks ago. Not sure i will be able to handle months or even years of these, But i do know what it is like to want to feel whole again . To think maybe you will never be the same .maybe you will never look at something you once looked at and still smile. to want to run away or go "home" and there is no resting place to go cause wherever you run to you will still be there. This has been my misery for 3 weeks .Its scarey..very scarey. ANd i am sorry you are hurting so badly. My prayers and thought are with you. Your post and poem touched me so much that i just wanted to write back and let you know that you are being thght about and prayed for . God Bless Sometimes we are put in troubled times to make us stronger. John 16:33 " I have told you these things,so that in me you will have peace.In this world you will have trouble.But take heart! I have overcome the world."
Response:
– TC3
Hi guys, I had a question or 2 for you all. How long have you guys had PD / AD
I think it was showing up in bits and peices in nursing school years ago but the full monty came in 1996 I think….. for and how long did it take you to get it under control?
The right concoction of meds came in November of 1999 I think(I am bad with months/dates)…however, I don’t think I will ever have control….it just slips out and wreaks havoc now and then….. Im just wondering – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – because Im now coming up for 5 months of having PD, the first 3 months I propabaly should have been locked up, I cant remember much of february, apart from the scars on my wrists to remind me of how messed up I was. Now I guess I have the same emotions and symptoms as I had a few months back but have learnt to deal with them and control them, but I still have my bad moments. Every day I feel this way. and pray that it will go away. So tiered of feeling sad. emotions that hurt so bad. I just want to feel the light. and see the end in sight. To be whole once more. and take back the life I had before.
This is wonderful, I have save it…it is so much how I feel especially today. hmmmm, not to bad for a 30 second poem. Oh well, I’m off for a another glass of red and a Xanax : ) Have a good weekend guys… Love and Hugs as always.
Love to you Andy…..keep hanging in and keep the poetry coming.. that was perfect. loveCheryl – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Andy…. < having another burnout friday after pushing all week to keep my life together
Response:
Hi Andy, When I think back I think that I must have always had some form of PA since I was very small. I only made this realization lately as I was afraid of my own shadow as a child. I wouldn’t take chances, I was very introverted (not now though). But they got bad about 4 or 5 years ago when I first went on Paxil and ativan. I stopped taking the paxil after a couple of weeks and lived on ativan for several months. Then there were some major life events that took place and I ended up out in the work force. I had to force myself to go everyday and I did have two major attacks there. But I had overcome my fear of driving as it was a necessity. I did this without any support or meds and I was doing really well up until 2 months ago. I would still get minor attacks mostly at night and pretty much daily over the entire period. Well at least thoughts that I was dying of something or other. I can honestly say that I never missed a day of work due to PA in the three years I was there. But two months ago they just came back with a vengence. Mostly related to stresses at work. Nancy So here I sit back at home again — Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hi guys, I had a question or 2 for you all. How long have you guys had PD / AD for and how long did it take you to get it under control? Im just wondering because Im now coming up for 5 months of having PD, the first 3 months I propabaly should have been locked up, I cant remember much of february, apart from the scars on my wrists to remind me of how messed up I was. Now I guess I have the same emotions and symptoms as I had a few months back but have learnt to deal with them and control them, but I still have my bad moments. Every day I feel this way. and pray that it will go away. So tiered of feeling sad. emotions that hurt so bad. I just want to feel the light. and see the end in sight. To be whole once more. and take back the life I had before. hmmmm, not to bad for a 30 second poem. Oh well, I’m off for a another glass of red and a Xanax : ) Have a good weekend guys… Love and Hugs as always. Andy…. < having another burnout friday after pushing all week to keep my life together
Response:
Hi guys, I had a question or 2 for you all. How long have you guys had PD / AD for and how long did it take you to get it under control? Im just wondering because Im now coming up for 5 months of having PD, the first 3 months I propabaly should have been locked up, I cant remember much of february, apart from the scars on my wrists to remind me of how messed up I was. Now I guess I have the same emotions and symptoms as I had a few months back but have learnt to deal with them and control them, but I still have my bad moments. Every day I feel this way. and pray that it will go away. So tiered of feeling sad. emotions that hurt so bad. I just want to feel the light. and see the end in sight. To be whole once more. and take back the life I had before. hmmmm, not to bad for a 30 second poem. Oh well, I’m off for a another glass of red and a Xanax : ) Have a good weekend guys… Love and Hugs as always. Andy…. < having another burnout friday after pushing all week to keep my life together
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hi guys, I had a question or 2 for you all. How long have you guys had PD / AD for and how long did it take you to get it under control? Im just wondering because Im now coming up for 5 months of having PD, the first 3 months I propabaly should have been locked up, I cant remember much of february, apart from the scars on my wrists to remind me of how messed up I was. Now I guess I have the same emotions and symptoms as I had a few months back but have learnt to deal with them and control them, but I still have my bad moments. Every day I feel this way. and pray that it will go away. So tiered of feeling sad. emotions that hurt so bad. I just want to feel the light. and see the end in sight. To be whole once more. and take back the life I had before. hmmmm, not to bad for a 30 second poem. Oh well, I’m off for a another glass of red and a Xanax : ) Have a good weekend guys… Love and Hugs as always. Andy…. < having another burnout friday after pushing all week to keep my life together
Dear Andy, I had PAD in small periods I think from when I was 5 (i am 44 now ) I had full blown PAD the last 10 years and I am on meds for the last 10 months. ( I was very medphobic ) 40 mg paxil and 7,5 mg valium for sleeping and with a PA I take the valium also as needed I have a *life*. maybe different from the life *normies* have. But to me it is very precious and I cherish life very much It took me a long time to overcome my negative feelings towards my own disorder. Now I am somewhat in ballance I focus on what I am rather than to what I should be. It is a process,believe me. You to will find your way in this,I am pretty sure Kisses from Anna
