Rough..but I did it
Question:
Yeaaaaaa Andrea! I can relate. Your experience brings it all back. And I used to say some really inane things to my kids to get my mind off being in the store, like "Well, it will be better as soon as we get past the alligator pit." The problem is that your husband might expect you to go by yourself every time now! LOL. Dot : ) (Congrats on your victory!)
Response:
way to go, pretty andrea!! I love your story, you really pushed yourself, that’s the only way! You are a star…. * Sent from AltaVista http://www.altavista.com Where you can also find related Web Pages, Images, Audios, Videos, News, and Shopping. Smart is Beautiful
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – My husband was going out with the guys tonight and though I don’t have a problem with that…I had to go get diapers and formula and because I knew he wouldn’t be here to go to the store for me, I was extremely panicky. So, I didn’t do what I normally do, which is to wait until I "feel up to it". I packed the girls up and went. I had to go to a bigger store than I usually do, because the smaller store is soooo expensive on diapers and baby stuff. Anyway, on my drive there, I did feel a little bit dizzy but when I got to the parking lot I sat there for a few minutes to "get myself together" and got the kids in the cart and ventured in. I wanted to "try" and get something for us for dinner but I thought that if I could just go in and get the diapers & formula, that in itself would be a victory. I’m so excited to say that not only did I get the diapers and the formula I also picked up all the fixin’s for tacos….yet, I went to the BACK of the store to get the ground beef, then I wandered around and got the rest and picked up a couple of other things. Well I shook off the panic that I started to feel and I was doing very well. Now, when I got up to the register I told the boy that I wanted 2 packs of cigs (YES, I SMOKE) and he said he would but he rang me up and forgot to add those in. Well, instead of holding up the line I told him that it was ok, I’d go over to the service desk and get them. The service desk is also the Express Lane, so I had to stand in line behind 2 other people, and I was still fine. Didn’t even feel any panic!!!! But after I go up there, the cashier walked away and was gone for minute and then I felt it….the heart racing, feeling sweaty, facing getting red, feeling the store spin around me….but I just stood there and just kept hoping that he would hurry up. I just know that people behind me thought I was crazy….cause I was telling my infant daughter "it’ll be ok, will be outta here in a few minutes" hoping that by talking to her, my mind would stay occupied. But it didn’t occur to me that she was asleep so I know they thought I was friggin’ nuts. I finally got out of the store and I felt a little shaky….but I didn’t have that lingering tension that normally follows behind an attack, and I don’t ever recall not feeling that! Thanks for letting me share that…it feels good! Andrea
Congratulations on a great victory indeed. I can do the grocery store most of the time but I noticed that when I’m there and feel good, the moment I realize that and say to myself "I feel great, no problem here at all", the risk of having a PA is greater than when I’m just shopping without thinking about how I feel. Maybe this happened to you too. I wonder what the mechanism is, it’s remarkable how *catastrophic thinking* seems to be able to disguise itself as *positive self-talk* while it’s not really. Philip
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -My husband was going out with the guys tonight and though I don’t have a problem with that…I had to go get diapers and formula and because I knew he wouldn’t be here to go to the store for me, I was extremely panicky. So, I didn’t do what I normally do, which is to wait until I "feel up to it". I packed the girls up and went. I had to go to a bigger store than I usually do, because the smaller store is soooo expensive on diapers and baby stuff. Anyway, on my drive there, I did feel a little bit dizzy but when I got to the parking lot I sat there for a few minutes to "get myself together" and got the kids in the cart and ventured in. I wanted to "try" and get something for us for dinner but I thought that if I could just go in and get the diapers & formula, that in itself would be a victory. I’m so excited to say that not only did I get the diapers and the formula I also picked up all the fixin’s for tacos….yet, I went to the BACK of the store to get the ground beef, then I wandered around and got the rest and picked up a couple of other things. Well I shook off the panic that I started to feel and I was doing very well. Now, when I got up to the register I told the boy that I wanted 2 packs of cigs (YES, I SMOKE) and he said he would but he rang me up and forgot to add those in. Well, instead of holding up the line I told him that it was ok, I’d go over to the service desk and get them. The service desk is also the Express Lane, so I had to stand in line behind 2 other people, and I was still fine. Didn’t even feel any panic!!!! But after I go up there, the cashier walked away and was gone for minute and then I felt it….the heart racing, feeling sweaty, facing getting red, feeling the store spin around me….but I just stood there and just kept hoping that he would hurry up. I just know that people behind me thought I was crazy….cause I was telling my infant daughter "it’ll be ok, will be outta here in a few minutes" hoping that by talking to her, my mind would stay occupied. But it didn’t occur to me that she was asleep so I know they thought I was friggin’ nuts. I finally got out of the store and I felt a little shaky….but I didn’t have that lingering tension that normally follows behind an attack, and I don’t ever recall not feeling that! Thanks for letting me share that…it feels good! Andrea
Andrea- Congratulations on a job well done. I love to hear others success stories! Keep up the great work! I look forward to reading more success stories from you in the future. Hugs Jess
Response:
Philip said Congratulations on a great victory indeed. I can do the grocery store most of the time but I noticed that when I’m there and feel good, the moment I realize that and say to myself "I feel great, no problem here at all", the risk of having a PA is greater than when I’m just shopping without thinking about how I feel. Maybe this happened to you too. I wonder what the mechanism is, it’s remarkable how *catastrophic thinking* seems to be able to disguise itself as *positive self-talk* while it’s not
really. Yeah, I’ve noticed that just about every time I’ve been okay too. The SECOND I say, well no panic attack this time, whoops, there we go again. I think it’s because I’ve broken one of the cardinal CBT rules: welcome the panic attack, leave the door open. Or maybe it’s some kind of God of Panic attacking me for my hubris? ( : I do think there’s some tiny bit of justice in my getting these things: My father had panic attacks and I felt terribly impatient about it. It always seemed to me that he used them as an excuse to lose his temper or get out of situations. My brothers and sisters were less hard on him. And out of the six kids, which do you suppose inherited his disorder. Only fair! Oh, and CONGRATULATIONS on getting through the grocery store, pretty0ne . . . (I always use my kids as an excuse. My symptoms often include disgusting digestive ones. I don’t know how many times I’ve asked some clerk where the bathroom is because "my kids" need it. My poor boys have been hauled into some real pits . . . )
Response:
I finally got out of the store and I felt a little shaky….but I didn’t have that lingering tension that normally follows behind an attack, and I don’t ever recall not feeling that! Thanks for letting me share that…it feels good! Andrea
WOO-HOO! Way to go, Andrea! What a great triumph for you! I can completely relate about the "trip to the store." I don’t have kids, but sometimes I’ve struck up conversations with complete strangers, just to distract myself. Thanks for sharing your success story: I’m sure there are many more to come. Cat
Response:
Andrea, Hi, it’s Cheryl, I am an oldie here but haven’t had much time to write to anyone! Anyway, even with the end being intense, I think you did great. I cannot tell you HOW many times I have been in your shoes, my daughter Christa, would be sitting in the cart and I would be like, "it’s okay honey, mommy will get us out soon." She was good to have there to focus on. I have been standing in line and get that feeling of sweat pouring down me and nausea….and you keep saying, I can do it, I can do it, I am not going to die! I am proud of you, a victory, and share anytime! Love Cheryl
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – My husband was going out with the guys tonight and though I don’t have a problem with that…I had to go get diapers and formula and because I knew he wouldn’t be here to go to the store for me, I was extremely panicky. So, I didn’t do what I normally do, which is to wait until I "feel up to it". I packed the girls up and went. I had to go to a bigger store than I usually do, because the smaller store is soooo expensive on diapers and baby stuff. Anyway, on my drive there, I did feel a little bit dizzy but when I got to the parking lot I sat there for a few minutes to "get myself together" and got the kids in the cart and ventured in. I wanted to "try" and get something for us for dinner but I thought that if I could just go in and get the diapers & formula, that in itself would be a victory. I’m so excited to say that not only did I get the diapers and the formula I also picked up all the fixin’s for tacos….yet, I went to the BACK of the store to get the ground beef, then I wandered around and got the rest and picked up a couple of other things. Well I shook off the panic that I started to feel and I was doing very well. Now, when I got up to the register I told the boy that I wanted 2 packs of cigs (YES, I SMOKE) and he said he would but he rang me up and forgot to add those in. Well, instead of holding up the line I told him that it was ok, I’d go over to the service desk and get them. The service desk is also the Express Lane, so I had to stand in line behind 2 other people, and I was still fine. Didn’t even feel any panic!!!! But after I go up there, the cashier walked away and was gone for minute and then I felt it….the heart racing, feeling sweaty, facing getting red, feeling the store spin around me….but I just stood there and just kept hoping that he would hurry up. I just know that people behind me thought I was crazy….cause I was telling my infant daughter "it’ll be ok, will be outta here in a few minutes" hoping that by talking to her, my mind would stay occupied. But it didn’t occur to me that she was asleep so I know they thought I was friggin’ nuts. I finally got out of the store and I felt a little shaky….but I didn’t have that lingering tension that normally follows behind an attack, and I don’t ever recall not feeling that! Thanks for letting me share that…it feels good! Andrea
Response:
You did great!! You faced some of the monster today and he backed off. Keep working on that. Hey I will talk to my shoes if it would help. Who cares what others think, they have no idea and they do weird things too, just remember that. I would fake having a flu some times start sniffing to act like I just didn’t feel well when I felt like I was flush. I had in the back of my head, hey I wont be here all day, they wont see me again who cares. You are doing wonderful. Keep it up! : )J
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – My husband was going out with the guys tonight and though I don’t have a problem with that…I had to go get diapers and formula and because I knew he wouldn’t be here to go to the store for me, I was extremely panicky. So, I didn’t do what I normally do, which is to wait until I "feel up to it". I packed the girls up and went. I had to go to a bigger store than I usually do, because the smaller store is soooo expensive on diapers and baby stuff. Anyway, on my drive there, I did feel a little bit dizzy but when I got to the parking lot I sat there for a few minutes to "get myself together" and got the kids in the cart and ventured in. I wanted to "try" and get something for us for dinner but I thought that if I could just go in and get the diapers & formula, that in itself would be a victory. I’m so excited to say that not only did I get the diapers and the formula I also picked up all the fixin’s for tacos….yet, I went to the BACK of the store to get the ground beef, then I wandered around and got the rest and picked up a couple of other things. Well I shook off the panic that I started to feel and I was doing very well. Now, when I got up to the register I told the boy that I wanted 2 packs of cigs (YES, I SMOKE) and he said he would but he rang me up and forgot to add those in. Well, instead of holding up the line I told him that it was ok, I’d go over to the service desk and get them. The service desk is also the Express Lane, so I had to stand in line behind 2 other people, and I was still fine. Didn’t even feel any panic!!!! But after I go up there, the cashier walked away and was gone for minute and then I felt it….the heart racing, feeling sweaty, facing getting red, feeling the store spin around me….but I just stood there and just kept hoping that he would hurry up. I just know that people behind me thought I was crazy….cause I was telling my infant daughter "it’ll be ok, will be outta here in a few minutes" hoping that by talking to her, my mind would stay occupied. But it didn’t occur to me that she was asleep so I know they thought I was friggin’ nuts. I finally got out of the store and I felt a little shaky….but I didn’t have that lingering tension that normally follows behind an attack, and I don’t ever recall not feeling that! Thanks for letting me share that…it feels good! Andrea
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – My husband was going out with the guys tonight and though I don’t have a problem with that…I had to go get diapers and formula and because I knew he wouldn’t be here to go to the store for me, I was extremely panicky. So, I didn’t do what I normally do, which is to wait until I "feel up to it". I packed the girls up and went. I had to go to a bigger store than I usually do, because the smaller store is soooo expensive on diapers and baby stuff. Anyway, on my drive there, I did feel a little bit dizzy but when I got to the parking lot I sat there for a few minutes to "get myself together" and got the kids in the cart and ventured in. I wanted to "try" and get something for us for dinner but I thought that if I could just go in and get the diapers & formula, that in itself would be a victory. I’m so excited to say that not only did I get the diapers and the formula I also picked up all the fixin’s for tacos….yet, I went to the BACK of the store to get the ground beef, then I wandered around and got the rest and picked up a couple of other things. Well I shook off the panic that I started to feel and I was doing very well. Now, when I got up to the register I told the boy that I wanted 2 packs of cigs (YES, I SMOKE) and he said he would but he rang me up and forgot to add those in. Well, instead of holding up the line I told him that it was ok, I’d go over to the service desk and get them. The service desk is also the Express Lane, so I had to stand in line behind 2 other people, and I was still fine. Didn’t even feel any panic!!!! But after I go up there, the cashier walked away and was gone for minute and then I felt it….the heart racing, feeling sweaty, facing getting red, feeling the store spin around me….but I just stood there and just kept hoping that he would hurry up. I just know that people behind me thought I was crazy….cause I was telling my infant daughter "it’ll be ok, will be outta here in a few minutes" hoping that by talking to her, my mind would stay occupied. But it didn’t occur to me that she was asleep so I know they thought I was friggin’ nuts. I finally got out of the store and I felt a little shaky….but I didn’t have that lingering tension that normally follows behind an attack, and I don’t ever recall not feeling that! Thanks for letting me share that…it feels good! Andrea
Dear Andrea, I think you did great!! I use to have such a problem going to the back of the store or to the furthest aisle from the exit door, so I understand the joy you feel by being able to accomplish that today. Even though you had a slight anxiety reaction towards the end, you really stuck it out and faced your fear. I am sure that no one thought you were crazy 
(((Andrea))) Jackie ~~It is a mistake to look to far ahead. Only one link of the chain of destiny can be handled at a time~~
Response:
My husband was going out with the guys tonight and though I don’t have a problem with that…I had to go get diapers and formula and because I knew he wouldn’t be here to go to the store for me, I was extremely panicky. So, I didn’t do what I normally do, which is to wait until I "feel up to it". I packed the girls up and went. I had to go to a bigger store than I usually do, because the smaller store is soooo expensive on diapers and baby stuff. Anyway, on my drive there, I did feel a little bit dizzy but when I got to the parking lot I sat there for a few minutes to "get myself together" and got the kids in the cart and ventured in. I wanted to "try" and get something for us for dinner but I thought that if I could just go in and get the diapers & formula, that in itself would be a victory. I’m so excited to say that not only did I get the diapers and the formula I also picked up all the fixin’s for tacos….yet, I went to the BACK of the store to get the ground beef, then I wandered around and got the rest and picked up a couple of other things. Well I shook off the panic that I started to feel and I was doing very well. Now, when I got up to the register I told the boy that I wanted 2 packs of cigs (YES, I SMOKE) and he said he would but he rang me up and forgot to add those in. Well, instead of holding up the line I told him that it was ok, I’d go over to the service desk and get them. The service desk is also the Express Lane, so I had to stand in line behind 2 other people, and I was still fine. Didn’t even feel any panic!!!! But after I go up there, the cashier walked away and was gone for minute and then I felt it….the heart racing, feeling sweaty, facing getting red, feeling the store spin around me….but I just stood there and just kept hoping that he would hurry up. I just know that people behind me thought I was crazy….cause I was telling my infant daughter "it’ll be ok, will be outta here in a few minutes" hoping that by talking to her, my mind would stay occupied. But it didn’t occur to me that she was asleep so I know they thought I was friggin’ nuts. I finally got out of the store and I felt a little shaky….but I didn’t have that lingering tension that normally follows behind an attack, and I don’t ever recall not feeling that! Thanks for letting me share that…it feels good! Andrea
Response:
Way to go, Andrea!! That’s the best news I’ve heard all day. You did better than I did. And, I went to the store this morning. I’m not taking the limelight off of you. I’ll post that later. I am so PROUD of you! I know what you mean about the service desk, etc. I do the same thing. I go in for Lotto and have to go to the service desk. A couple of times the person walked right into another room as soon as I got up to the desk. I thought "great" and I’ll have to wait 10 mins. probably! I wait, though, because I’m not going back to that desk for Lotto later, that’s for sure. I want to do it NOW! Don’t worry about people thinking you’re nuts – when they see a baby, I don’t think they even see YOU, if you know what I mean. I do that – love babies! Talk to whoever you can to occupy your mind. I also do that and it really helps! I’m more excited than you about this, I think! That’s enough. Bye! Di – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – My husband was going out with the guys tonight and though I don’t have a problem with that…I had to go get diapers and formula and because I knew he wouldn’t be here to go to the store for me, I was extremely panicky. So, I didn’t do what I normally do, which is to wait until I "feel up to it". I packed the girls up and went. I had to go to a bigger store than I usually do, because the smaller store is soooo expensive on diapers and baby stuff. Anyway, on my drive there, I did feel a little bit dizzy but when I got to the parking lot I sat there for a few minutes to "get myself together" and got the kids in the cart and ventured in. I wanted to "try" and get something for us for dinner but I thought that if I could just go in and get the diapers & formula, that in itself would be a victory. I’m so excited to say that not only did I get the diapers and the formula I also picked up all the fixin’s for tacos….yet, I went to the BACK of the store to get the ground beef, then I wandered around and got the rest and picked up a couple of other things. Well I shook off the panic that I started to feel and I was doing very well. Now, when I got up to the register I told the boy that I wanted 2 packs of cigs (YES, I SMOKE) and he said he would but he rang me up and forgot to add those in. Well, instead of holding up the line I told him that it was ok, I’d go over to the service desk and get them. The service desk is also the Express Lane, so I had to stand in line behind 2 other people, and I was still fine. Didn’t even feel any panic!!!! But after I go up there, the cashier walked away and was gone for minute and then I felt it….the heart racing, feeling sweaty, facing getting red, feeling the store spin around me….but I just stood there and just kept hoping that he would hurry up. I just know that people behind me thought I was crazy….cause I was telling my infant daughter "it’ll be ok, will be outta here in a few minutes" hoping that by talking to her, my mind would stay occupied. But it didn’t occur to me that she was asleep so I know they thought I was friggin’ nuts. I finally got out of the store and I felt a little shaky….but I didn’t have that lingering tension that normally follows behind an attack, and I don’t ever recall not feeling that! Thanks for letting me share that…it feels good! Andrea
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