Obsessive-Compulsive Disorders » Compulsive Disorder

Telling about my problems

admin — Mon, 30 Aug 2004 00:00:00 +0000

Question:

The problem is, mcs has a hold of himself too often. I guess it’s called stress release.

Hi Major, (hold of himself)? Zoloft , In and out , up and down and yes what a way to go – Way better then zipping in Zoloft but hey knock yourself up, maybe you can get Poopie tohump you and then call you General pretty soon? Between Black Dog, Poopie and Major Zoloft, you guys are the best salesman for not taking meds. But maybe a new class of drugs witll come along and make people with normal sounding names and ideas come back here..

Response:

you’re not you’re fucked up. ;^) Poopie,

Tell everyone here how you got started in the business. :;777* -Steve !stop! copyin/pastin y’all’s lil flirtation on this board and consider the serious thread you’re postin it on. START YOUR OWN SUBJECT AND THREADS ! you guys might need your privacy, anyway. ~tanya (a true believer in everyone’s right to my opinion)

Response:

YUM , don’t tell me you have a sister like yu? It can’t be that good can it? ~no, i have no sisters… parental selection in conjunction with my own was refused by all female chiles… the competition woulda been debilitatin’ !

Response:

Why can’t you learn how to post properly? ~posting properly has never been one of my goals in life. so… tuff guy, why doncha gimme a "postin 101" lesson as opposed to a passive-aggressive "would you please tell me how to post?" response soliciting question. plus.. i’m real friggin dumb. (shaving accident)

Response:

wow… they gotta rule book ! Reply Click Reply to write a response to the current newsgroup message. When writing a reply, you can choose to reply to the newsgroup, reply in e-mail to the author of the original message, or both. (yanno? i think i’m just gonna click "reply" from now on… i’m savin your post and replyin from there… this could be the start of sumthin truly romantic.)

Response:

Why can’t you learn how to post properly? – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I just wish I didn’t wonder what people were thinking so much. ~~ya wouldn’t wonder what people were thinkin about ya if ya realized how seldom they do. and ya can’t change the past, it’s already happened, and ya can’t predict the future, you’ll be wrong, you can’t project what others are thinking, you’ll be wrong. so basically….. ya think everybody’s thinkin about ya, YER gonna be the one to invent the time machine, recreate your life. ("oh, what if, oh, i wish i hadda, oh darn it, sucked for me, so of course everyone else thinks i suck, becaue i am ‘OMNIPOTENT’)which is a task scientific scholars since the beginning of time when a "past" was even conscienable, PLUS you can read minds and now yer predicting the future. DIAGNOSIS: you are conceited, ostentatious, selfish, self-absorbed, and ta top it off… YOU ARE A VICTIM? puh-leeeeeeze… ya see? i don’t give a rat’s ass what people think about me, subsequently i don’t care if you like what i gotta say or not. pity parties abhor me, it’s a simple ploy for MORE attention for you to complain about. You think people think you’re stupid? (yer kiddin)…. WELL NO SHIT, SHERLOCK ! McFLY!!!!!!! McFLY !!!!!! ANYBODY HOME???? will you get a girlfriend? i can answer that, actually. yeah. you will. the bigger question is… would ya WANT SOMEBODY THAT TOLERATES YOUR BEHAVIOR AND BLAMES ON A DISORDER??? good god, i’m OCD, most of us are in here… so what. be obsessive and compulsive and be done with it and quitchur whinin. now i will prescribe your treatment? sure… sure ya wanna know… #1) stop thinkin about crap that is more counterproductive than a fish salesman at gay bar, #2)GETCHUR HEAD OUTTA YER ASS, GETCHUR MIND ON TODAY, THIS MINUTE, THIS SECOND. There ain’t nothin else. period. now is ALL we got and even IT’s a surprise every second.. ya want your life mapped out? you sucha control freak you think you got the power to change the course of life? of nature? your path? #3) own up to the REAL problem.. which only you can answer, but i’m guessin getta hobby besides yourself, mabye take up bowling… well, maybe not.. a gutter ball in public could put ya over tha edge. or come spend a week with me at my tattoo shop. (after 13 years in the business, i never asked one tattoo or piercing collector if they wondered what people thought of them.) think about THAT ! p.s. yer counselor couldn’t pick you outta a midget parade. don’t flatter yerself. GUAR-AN-TEED you were dust in her wind. here’s a test… you have a choice how you view my previous comments. you can choose several options, the 2 most obvious being "hurtful and painful and that bitch just doesn’t understand".. or.. "hey, maybe this is a positive thing…. lemme sit down and look at this".. (clue: everything in life does not have to be hurtful.. you have a choice as to how you feel. you can be a victim, maintain your plight you’ve created… or change your focus. (i’m bettin i’m not in the running for his new girlfriend…. just an educated guess)

Response:

The what if’s are a bitch but at some point (usually happens naturally) they slowly fade away with time. Everyone wishes their lives were better even to someone who’s life you view as great. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I am not sure what to say but I guess I will try. One problem I have and has been getting worse is that I am anaylzing things too much. I am constantly thinking about past events and wondering what I should have done differently or done better, like wishing my life was more enjoyable or wishing I had studied different things in college etc. When I am talking on the phone sometimes I am wondering what the other person thinks sometimes, and when I have visited with a friend or met someone new and departed, I also wonder what they are thinking about me. Sometimes even I think people think I am stupid and things like that. I feel like I should be outgoing more to people but I am always thinking about things so it is hard to talk to people at times, I wish I could just let loose but I can’t. I just wish I didn’t wonder what people were thinking so much. Also at some points I have anxious things happening like wondering when I will get a girlfriend, worrying about transferring colleges, and things like worrying about what will happen after graduating and wondering if I will be able to manage my life. I also have some compulsive-disorder tendencies like arranging things or having to do things The other day I talked to a counsellor about this and I will see a psychologist very soon about this. Actually when I left the counsellor I was actually wondering what she was thinking about me…. Anyone else have these kinds of things happening? At times it is bothersome but I know I will be able to get out of it.

Response:

with your dingle anymore? – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text –

Response:

I view you as great Kevin, the boys want to know if you do the swing thing with your dingle anymore?

Get a hold of yourself Steve and release those boys you’ve got locked in your basement ; )

Response:

I view you as great Kevin, the boys want to know if you do the swing thing with your dingle anymore? Get a hold of yourself Steve and release those boys you’ve got locked in your basement ; )

Kevin that fruity juice your drinking is maybe helping you dream in color again?

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I view you as great Kevin, the boys want to know if you do the swing thing with your dingle anymore? Get a hold of yourself Steve and release those boys you’ve got locked in your basement ; ) Kevin that fruity juice your drinking is maybe helping you dream in color again?

you’re not you’re fucked up. ;^)

Response:

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I view you as great Kevin, the boys want to know if you do the swing thing with your dingle anymore? Get a hold of yourself Steve and release those boys you’ve got locked in your basement ; ) Kevin that fruity juice your drinking is maybe helping you dream in color again? you’re not you’re fucked up. ;^) Poopie,

Tell everyone here how you got started in the business. :;777* -Steve

Response:

Well that answers that question, you’re fucked up. ;^)

Response:

Well that answers that question, you’re fucked up. ;^)

And do tell is that why you are posting to these newsgroups. Richard

Response:

I just wish I didn’t wonder what people were thinking so much. ~~ya wouldn’t wonder what people were thinkin about ya if ya realized how seldom they do. and ya can’t change the past, it’s already happened, and ya can’t predict the future, you’ll be wrong, you can’t project what others are thinking, you’ll be wrong. so basically….. ya think everybody’s thinkin about ya, YER gonna be the one to invent the time machine, recreate your life. ("oh, what if, oh, i wish i hadda, oh darn it, sucked for me, so of course everyone else thinks i suck, becaue i am ‘OMNIPOTENT’)which is a task scientific scholars since the beginning of time when a "past" was even conscienable, PLUS you can read minds and now yer predicting the future. DIAGNOSIS: you are conceited, ostentatious, selfish, self-absorbed, and ta top it off… YOU ARE A VICTIM? puh-leeeeeeze… ya see? i don’t give a rat’s ass what people think about me, subsequently i don’t care if you like what i gotta say or not. pity parties abhor me, it’s a simple ploy for MORE attention for you to complain about. You think people think you’re stupid? (yer kiddin)…. WELL NO SHIT, SHERLOCK ! McFLY!!!!!!! McFLY !!!!!! ANYBODY HOME???? will you get a girlfriend? i can answer that, actually. yeah. you will. the bigger question is… would ya WANT SOMEBODY THAT TOLERATES YOUR BEHAVIOR AND BLAMES ON A DISORDER??? good god, i’m OCD, most of us are in here… so what. be obsessive and compulsive and be done with it and quitchur whinin. now i will prescribe your treatment? sure… sure ya wanna know… #1) stop thinkin about crap that is more counterproductive than a fish salesman at gay bar, #2)GETCHUR HEAD OUTTA YER ASS, GETCHUR MIND ON TODAY, THIS MINUTE, THIS SECOND. There ain’t nothin else. period. now is ALL we got and even IT’s a surprise every second.. ya want your life mapped out? you sucha control freak you think you got the power to change the course of life? of nature? your path? #3) own up to the REAL problem.. which only you can answer, but i’m guessin getta hobby besides yourself, mabye take up bowling… well, maybe not.. a gutter ball in public could put ya over tha edge. or come spend a week with me at my tattoo shop. (after 13 years in the business, i never asked one tattoo or piercing collector if they wondered what people thought of them.) think about THAT ! p.s. yer counselor couldn’t pick you outta a midget parade. don’t flatter yerself. GUAR-AN-TEED you were dust in her wind. here’s a test… you have a choice how you view my previous comments. you can choose several options, the 2 most obvious being "hurtful and painful and that bitch just doesn’t understand".. or.. "hey, maybe this is a positive thing…. lemme sit down and look at this".. (clue: everything in life does not have to be hurtful.. you have a choice as to how you feel. you can be a victim, maintain your plight you’ve created… or change your focus. (i’m bettin i’m not in the running for his new girlfriend…. just an educated guess)

Response:

The problem is, mcs has a hold of himself too often. I guess it’s called stress release. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I view you as great Kevin, the boys want to know if you do the swing thing with your dingle anymore? Get a hold of yourself Steve and release those boys you’ve got locked in your basement ; )

Response:

You are very normal. I’m (historically) pretty self confident but I’ve also had a lot of moments of self doubt. Ever read Robert Frost’s poem, The Road Not Taken? We all look back and say what if? One thing I learned some time ago is never to say "If I only…." I can’t change things and there is no reason to expend energy on things I can’t change. If you really obsess with this to the point where it truly interferes with your life, then you may need help. What you are doing is mind reading. It is common. nevertheless it is irrational. I’d suggest you buy the book "Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy." It is a great self help book that I believe will be very useful to you. Best wishes, The Major – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I am not sure what to say but I guess I will try. One problem I have and has been getting worse is that I am anaylzing things too much. I am constantly thinking about past events and wondering what I should have done differently or done better, like wishing my life was more enjoyable or wishing I had studied different things in college etc. When I am talking on the phone sometimes I am wondering what the other person thinks sometimes, and when I have visited with a friend or met someone new and departed, I also wonder what they are thinking about me. Sometimes even I think people think I am stupid and things like that. I feel like I should be outgoing more to people but I am always thinking about things so it is hard to talk to people at times, I wish I could just let loose but I can’t. I just wish I didn’t wonder what people were thinking so much. Also at some points I have anxious things happening like wondering when I will get a girlfriend, worrying about transferring colleges, and things like worrying about what will happen after graduating and wondering if I will be able to manage my life. I also have some compulsive-disorder tendencies like arranging things or having to do things The other day I talked to a counsellor about this and I will see a psychologist very soon about this. Actually when I left the counsellor I was actually wondering what she was thinking about me…. Anyone else have these kinds of things happening? At times it is bothersome but I know I will be able to get out of it.

Response:

"Subnbelle" thinkin about crap that is more counterproductive than a fish salesman at

gay bar,

Response:

ya see? i don’t give a rat’s ass what people think about me, subsequently i don’t care if you like what i gotta say or not. pity parties abhor me, it’s a simple ploy for MORE attention for you to complain about. You think people think you’re stupid? (yer kiddin)….

ya, you yer, you’re, your just pick one and stick with it YOU fake. or is it "YA fake"? guess it depends who YER trying to be at the moment. YOU’RE, I mean YER, trying way too hard. YOUR, whoops, YER brain must hurt trying to keep it all straight.

Response:

Well that answers that question, you’re fucked up. ;^) And do tell is that why you are posting to these newsgroups. Richard

Because I’m the whole package, not to mention I’m all that and more. ;^)

Response:

I just wish I didn’t wonder what people were thinking so much. ~~ya wouldn’t wonder what people were thinkin about ya if ya realized how seldom they do. Well I know what they are thinking: One wrong move and WHAMO and ya can’t change the past, it’s already happened, and ya can’t predict the future, you’ll be wrong, you can’t project what others are thinking, you’ll be wrong. so basically…..

You can’t change the past but you can change your reaction to it. The problem is not that people are stuck, they never tried to even go there! and understand and EVOLVE ( remember the word Volvo?) ya think everybody’s thinkin about ya, YER gonna be the one to invent the time machine, recreate your life. ("oh, what if, oh, i wish i hadda, oh darn it, sucked for me, so of course everyone else thinks i suck, becaue i am ‘OMNIPOTENT’)which is a task scientific scholars since the beginning of time when a "past" was even conscienable, PLUS you can read minds and now yer predicting the future.

you see now you got it…. I think DIAGNOSIS: you are conceited, ostentatious, selfish, self-absorbed, and ta top it off… YOU ARE A VICTIM? puh-leeeeeeze…

Yes I was told that by my Shrink who is probably on some fat farm and Poopie. ya see? i don’t give a rat’s ass what people think about me, subsequently i don’t care if you like what i gotta say or not. pity parties abhor me, it’s a simple ploy for MORE attention for you to complain about. You think people think you’re stupid? (yer kiddin)…. WELL NO SHIT, SHERLOCK ! McFLY!!!!!!! McFLY !!!!!! ANYBODY HOME????

Honey its much more then rationalizing. thats part of it, if the chemical part is not kicking in the other part that is needed won’t make you whole. Like manic depressive, anxiety , personalization , problems. We need to have the connections to make us equal and whole. will you get a girlfriend? i can answer that, actually. yeah. you will.

Your talking to me? How many far away girlfriends do I need? If your around now, and not a tubby , and you don’t smoke , come to pappa. But if your not talking to me , ok, Are you staring again? I got it your my therapist! the bigger question is… would ya WANT SOMEBODY THAT TOLERATES YOUR BEHAVIOR AND BLAMES ON A DISORDER??? good god, i’m OCD, most of us are in here… so what. be obsessive and compulsive and be done with it and quitchur whinin.

quitchur whinin…. Who is whinning winny? now i will prescribe your treatment? sure… sure ya wanna know… #1) stop thinkin about crap that is more counterproductive than a fish salesman at gay bar, #2)

you have all the connections in order, but you just might have problem of lectric impulses.Try rubbing your feet on a thick carpet and watch you connections improve with light shock therapy. GETCHUR HEAD OUTTA YER ASS, GETCHUR MIND ON TODAY, THIS MINUTE, THIS – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – SECOND. There ain’t nothin else. period. now is ALL we got and even IT’s a surprise every second.. ya want your life mapped out? you sucha control freak you think you got the power to change the course of life? of nature? your path? #3) own up to the REAL problem.. which only you can answer, but i’m guessin getta hobby besides yourself, mabye take up bowling… well, maybe not.. a gutter ball in public could put ya over tha edge. or come spend a week with me at my tattoo shop. (after 13 years in the business, i never asked one tattoo or piercing collector if they wondered what people thought of them.) think about THAT ! Yu know what? I first thought Schizo, but now realize you might be just

obsessive with slight other tendecies. I won’t know until I ask you this question: Do you like Sex? p.s. yer counselor couldn’t pick you outta a midget parade. don’t flatter yerself. GUAR-AN-TEED you were dust in her wind.

I am not sure your not her now needing some attention. Witch isok we all need to feel loved and I loved you so much. here’s a test… you have a choice how you view my previous comments. you can choose several options, the 2 most obvious being "hurtful and painful and that bitch just doesn’t understand".. or.. "hey, maybe this is a positive thing…. lemme sit down and look at this".. (clue: everything in life does not have to be hurtful.. you have a choice as to how you feel. you can be a victim, maintain your plight you’ve created… or change your focus.

How do I find good work and sleep when I want to ? – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – (i’m bettin i’m not in the running for his new girlfriend…. just an educated guess)

Response:

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I just wish I didn’t wonder what people were thinking so much. ~~ya wouldn’t wonder what people were thinkin about ya if ya realized how seldom they do. and ya can’t change the past, it’s already happened, and ya can’t predict the future, you’ll be wrong, you can’t project what others are thinking, you’ll be wrong. so basically….. ya think everybody’s thinkin about ya, YER gonna be the one to invent the time machine, recreate your life. ("oh, what if, oh, i wish i hadda, oh darn it, sucked for me, so of course everyone else thinks i suck, becaue i am ‘OMNIPOTENT’)which is a task scientific scholars since the beginning of time when a "past" was even conscienable, PLUS you can read minds and now yer predicting the future. DIAGNOSIS: you are conceited, ostentatious, selfish, self-absorbed, and ta top it off… YOU ARE A VICTIM? puh-leeeeeeze… ya see? i don’t give a rat’s ass what people think about me, subsequently i don’t care if you like what i gotta say or not. pity parties abhor me, it’s a simple ploy for MORE attention for you to complain about. You think people think you’re stupid? (yer kiddin)…. WELL NO SHIT, SHERLOCK ! McFLY!!!!!!! McFLY !!!!!! ANYBODY HOME???? will you get a girlfriend? i can answer that, actually. yeah. you will. the bigger question is… would ya WANT SOMEBODY THAT TOLERATES YOUR BEHAVIOR AND BLAMES ON A DISORDER??? good god, i’m OCD, most of us are in here… so what. be obsessive and compulsive and be done with it and quitchur whinin. now i will prescribe your treatment? sure… sure ya wanna know… #1) stop thinkin about crap that is more counterproductive than a fish salesman at gay bar, #2)GETCHUR HEAD OUTTA YER ASS, GETCHUR MIND ON TODAY, THIS MINUTE, THIS SECOND. There ain’t nothin else. period. now is ALL we got and even IT’s a surprise every second.. ya want your life mapped out? you sucha control freak you think you got the power to change the course of life? of nature? your path? #3) own up to the REAL problem.. which only you can answer, but i’m guessin getta hobby besides yourself, mabye take up bowling… well, maybe not.. a gutter ball in public could put ya over tha edge. or come spend a week with me at my tattoo shop. (after 13 years in the business, i never asked one tattoo or piercing collector if they wondered what people thought of them.) think about THAT ! p.s. yer counselor couldn’t pick you outta a midget parade. don’t flatter yerself. GUAR-AN-TEED you were dust in her wind. here’s a test… you have a choice how you view my previous comments. you can choose several options, the 2 most obvious being "hurtful and painful and that bitch just doesn’t understand".. or.. "hey, maybe this is a positive thing…. lemme sit down and look at this".. (clue: everything in life does not have to be hurtful.. you have a choice as to how you feel. you can be a victim, maintain your plight you’ve created… or change your focus. (i’m bettin i’m not in the running for his new girlfriend…. just an educated guess)

it?

Response:

Anyone else have these kinds of things happening?

Yep, all the time until diazepam entered my life. At times it is bothersome but I know I will be able to get out of it.

A positive attitude is a good start. Good luck with your psychologist. Figaro

Response:

For your consideration: Everything is exactly as it should be. If you say or do something a little bit "stupid" when meeting with people – that’s fine. We don’t all have to be perfect and most people understand that everyone, even you, have certain idiocyncrasies. It’s what makes you you. Maybe something that you say or do that some might consider weird or stupid is exactly the thing that you will say or do that will endear you to that girlfriend you are wondering about. If you are like me you not only have worried / thought / overanalysed what others have or are thinking about you – - but then you also worry that you are over thinking it. But even this…even over thinking things, is just fine. It’s how you and the universe ARE right now. Even this overthinking might be the thing that leads you to something else. You are where you are. You have to start from here. Whatever problems you do or don’t have, real or made up in your head, this is where you are and what will lead you to every good thing and every bad thing that will happen in the future. Accept it. That doesn’t mean to lay down or give up or that you don’t have any power to change things. You do. Part of what you are is a person that can recognize these things and change them if you wish. I believe that most people’s biggest strength are also their biggest weaknesses. And conversly one’s biggest weaknesses are also often part of their strengths. A person that is always sure of themselves might be seen as strong and confident. They might be a great leader. But they might also miss things, be stubborn, be un-open to new ideas. A person that is always questioning every part of the world and themselves might be indecisive but they might also be more open to new idea, more open to certain people.

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I am not sure what to say but I guess I will try. One problem I have and has been getting worse is that I am anaylzing things too much. I am constantly thinking about past events and wondering what I should have done differently or done better, like wishing my life was more enjoyable or wishing I had studied different things in college etc. When I am talking on the phone sometimes I am wondering what the other person thinks sometimes, and when I have visited with a friend or met someone new and departed, I also wonder what they are thinking about me. Sometimes even I think people think I am stupid and things like that. I feel like I should be outgoing more to people but I am always thinking about things so it is hard to talk to people at times, I wish I could just let loose but I can’t. I just wish I didn’t wonder what people were thinking so much. Also at some points I have anxious things happening like wondering when I will get a girlfriend, worrying about transferring colleges, and things like worrying about what will happen after graduating and wondering if I will be able to manage my life. I also have some compulsive-disorder tendencies like arranging things or having to do things The other day I talked to a counsellor about this and I will see a psychologist very soon about this. Actually when I left the counsellor I was actually wondering what she was thinking about me…. Anyone else have these kinds of things happening? At times it is bothersome but I know I will be able to get out of it.

Response:

I am not sure what to say but I guess I will try. One problem I have and has been getting worse is that I am anaylzing things too much. I am constantly thinking about past events and wondering what I should have done differently or done better, like wishing my life was more enjoyable or wishing I had studied different things in college etc. When I am talking on the phone sometimes I am wondering what the other person thinks sometimes, and when I have visited with a friend or met someone new and departed, I also wonder what they are thinking about me. Sometimes even I think people think I am stupid and things like that. I feel like I should be outgoing more to people but I am always thinking about things so it is hard to talk to people at times, I wish I could just let loose but I can’t. I just wish I didn’t wonder what people were thinking so much. Also at some points I have anxious things happening like wondering when I will get a girlfriend, worrying about transferring colleges, and things like worrying about what will happen after graduating and wondering if I will be able to manage my life. I also have some compulsive-disorder tendencies like arranging things or having to do things The other day I talked to a counsellor about this and I will see a psychologist very soon about this. Actually when I left the counsellor I was actually wondering what she was thinking about me…. Anyone else have these kinds of things happening? At times it is bothersome but I know I will be able to get out of it.

Response:

The Trice/magna95/Mary/roada/etc. troll

admin — Sat, 26 Jul 2003 00:00:00 +0000

Question:

Amazing how this bitch can’t tell her head from her ass and has to ask for help 20 times a day but she can find an off-topic post and follow up to it in about a second. And she claims she loves the group so much! Must be why she’s helping to ruin it by multiplying the off-topic threads exponentially.

Response:

"There’s a song in the Air and the Gay Senorita doesn’t give a care for the Song in the Air!" . etc. etc. Lovely tune! That’s the Donkey Serenade and very appropo for YOU! I think your psychiatrist would say you have some compulsive disorder since you have such a need to monitor my posts. Try music or listening to some good Baptist sermons. It can help your problem. GeeJOY

In my Country "Baptist" isn’t too far removed from "Church of Scotland" where they rail against the "monstrous regiment of women". Is that what you had in mind? (OK – it is 55 miles North of me)! JohnT

Response:

test don't read

admin — Sat, 26 Oct 2002 00:00:00 +0000

Question:

test

Response:

test

Is this a test of your computer or just to find out how many of us are obsesive compulsive? I was just getting over my obsesive compulsive disorder associated with going to Harbor Freight everyday. Now you start with "test don’t read." Are you trying to ruin my life? Damn it, I’m going to the kitchen for some chocolate. Then maybe to Harbor Freight. You probably have red switches on your power tools, and put don’t touch signs up when you varnish something. Damn, Damn.

Response:

Annoying commentators

admin — Sat, 12 Jan 2002 00:00:00 +0000

Question:

That Kiwi pratt (Smith) is right up there with Lawry and Greig…..

Response:

That Cicero pratt is right up there with Kaelum and Moby.

Response:

That Cicero pratt is right up there with Kaelum and Moby.

Larrikin

Response:

That Cicero pratt is right up there with Kaelum and Moby.

Humh. — "Hope is replace by fear and dreams by survival, most of us get by." Stuart Adamson 1958-2001 Mad Hamish Hamish Laws

Response:

Aww c’mon just try imitating him round the TV room at my place and you’ll see the fun of him LOL

Response:

Richie Benaud is the ultimate idiot. His bias makes him look silly to any non-australian. Castro

Response:

I was a little embarrased with smith and is bias last night, but then I thought about it. NZ are the underdogs, and Aus are the self proclaimed best. Smith has had to sit through the test series with Aussie commentators doing nothing but berate NZ and praise Aus. He has a right to get a bit excited and in his defense his opinion swayed as the game did, which is what a good commentator should do.

I’ve got no problem with Smith. His commentary irritates me sometimes, but thats because I’m an Aussie and he is a little too pro-NZ for my tastes. But, the exact samething would be true about the Aussie commentators irritating the Kiwi fans, so it evens out and I can live with that. I find Bill Lawry so patronising of opposition teams that I can’t stand him (go back to Victoria and stay there Bill, please). No matter how hard he tried to sound positive about NZs win last night it just sounded fake and forced. I like the balance Smith is providing.

Response:

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – That Kiwi pratt (Smith) is right up there with Lawry and Greig….. I actually find Ian Smith to be one of the better international commentators. You won’t find him carrying on like a sook like Michael Holding. He was p*ssed off for the whole all day about the Boucher snick, but at least today he seem over it. He is just a biased as the Aussies commentators though, but thats just a fair balance.

Response:

The WORLD actually extends beyond your little island – Benaud doesn’t see anything else than yellow and he is only respected by some Autralians.

Funny how Richie has been commentating in England for 30 years or so then… Richie Benaud is the ultimate idiot. His bias makes him look silly to any non-australian. You are kidding! Benaud is THE most respected commentator around the WORLD. He goes to great lengths to be unbiased. Wake up.

– "Hope is replace by fear and dreams by survival, most of us get by." Stuart Adamson 1958-2001 Mad Hamish Hamish Laws

Response:

Richie Benaud is the ultimate idiot. His bias makes him look silly to any non-australian. Castro

You are kidding! Benaud is THE most respected commentator around the WORLD. He goes to great lengths to be unbiased. Wake up.

Response:

That Kiwi pratt (Smith) is right up there with Lawry and Greig…..

I actually find Ian Smith to be one of the better international commentators. You won’t find him carrying on like a sook like Michael Holding.

Response:

That Kiwi pratt (Smith) is right up there with Lawry and Greig….. I actually find Ian Smith to be one of the better international commentators. You won’t find him carrying on like a sook like Michael Holding.

He was p*ssed off for the whole all day about the Boucher snick, but at least today he seem over it. He is just a biased as the Aussies commentators though, but thats just a fair balance.

Response:

The WORLD actually extends beyond your little island – Benaud doesn’t see anything else than yellow and he is only respected by some Autralians.

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Richie Benaud is the ultimate idiot. His bias makes him look silly to any non-australian. Castro You are kidding! Benaud is THE most respected commentator around the WORLD. He goes to great lengths to be unbiased. Wake up.

Response:

That Cicero pratt is right up there with Kaelum and Moby.

Are, my adoring fan…. Is it a compulsive disorder that forces you to include my name in every second post, or are you just a closet worshipper? Moby Who worships closets too.

Response:

It was indeed a dark and stormy night when Moby guffawed, dribbled and spat: Are, my adoring fan….

pfft… Another one sticks. – - – http://www.crackersport.com

Response:

Emotional damage from neuroleptics. Only death awaits me.

admin — Fri, 05 Oct 2001 00:00:00 +0000

Question:

Spiritus wrote: > Of course my life is still empty and i need to do something about that. > I figure after I’ve fealt ok on these meds for a while something will > occurr to me to fill my life with meaning. But at the moment still > relatively meaningless.

Isn’t meaningfulness an illusion? Pana Seea

Response:

In article <3BC3142E.6CCB2…@NOspam.net>, Pana Seea wrote: > Spiritus wrote: > > Of course my life is still empty and i need to do something about that. > > I figure after I’ve fealt ok on these meds for a while something will > > occurr to me to fill my life with meaning. But at the moment still > > relatively meaningless. > Isn’t meaningfulness an illusion? > Pana Seea

Well if it is it’s an illusion I’d like to have, but I don’t. I don’t really go for the "everything in live is an illusion" thing. It may be an illusion but it’s real enough when you have to face it and deal with it every day. sp

Response:

Spiritus wrote: > > Isn’t meaningfulness an illusion? > > Pana Seea > Well if it is it’s an illusion I’d like to have, but I don’t. > I don’t really go for the "everything in live is an illusion" thing. > It may be an illusion but it’s real enough when you have to face it and > deal with it every day. > sp

I was really referring to people’s *perceptions* of what is meaningful. When I was young a meaningful life meant being in a sexually intimate relationship and to fit into a peer group. Possibly to follow a "meaningful" cause. Later meaningfulness meant having financial security, having a fancy car, a house and a career and living the good life. Later still it meant to have greater philosophical understand about life and to pass this knowledge on. The search for understanding gave meaning at the time. These days I feel that all those pursuits were an illusion and merely a stepping stone to a greater realization that we weave purpose ourselves or have it woven for us out of a *desire* for purpose, not because it actually exists. I tend to agree with the belief that we chase something ephemeral…something which has no substance, …something which is simply a state of mind and which falls through our fingers when we think it attained. "Meaningfulness" is a vehicle rather than an attainable goal, imho. Pana Seea

Response:

You have to be lost to be found just as you have to be dead to live. John 5:25 AV Verily, verily, I say unto you, The hour is coming, and now is, when the dead shall hear the voice of the Son of God: and they that hear shall live.

Response:

>You have to be lost to be found just as you have to be dead to live.

well it looks like im in good shape then ; )

Response:

"soggytrousers" wrote in message

news:87bsjlqtki.fsf@liliwhite.open.oasis… > You have to be lost to be found just as you have to be dead to live. > John 5:25 AV Verily, verily, I say unto you, The hour is coming, and > now is, when the dead shall hear the voice of the Son of > God: and they that hear shall live.

"we will not know the hour or the day, but remember I come like a thief." I have often wondered about that………..why a thief????????? Maybe he is some stockbroker somewhere, fiddling the company’s bank account!!!! Michelle

Response:

In article <9pjbfc$8m…@laurel.tc.umn.edu>, Alcanthus – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text - wrote: > I was prescribed triavil about 18 years ago for obsesssive compulsive > disorder and depression. I immediately lost my emotional depth and felt like > an integral part of my personality dissappeared. The emotional flatness is > like a cold, icy winter compared to the hot, steamy emotional life I had > before. I’m taking some antidepressants now . I’ve tried all kinds of drugs. > I feel that I only have death to look forward. I’ve tried all kinds of > drugs. Nothing seems to help. I had an MRI of my brain 2 years ago. It > showed that my left ventricle was larger than my right. I’ve just read that > enlargement of this ventricle is associated with the negative symptoms of > schizophrenia. I might be willing to accept that I have this disorder, if > the definition of schizophrenia can be extended to those conditions caused > by neuroleptics. I really don’t know what to do. > Steve

Different meds? I’m on Zyprexa, Seroquell, Paxil, and Clonapine. I think I’ve finally found a combonation that works for me. Bye and large feel better than ever regarding my symptoms. Of course my life is still empty and i need to do something about that. I figure after I’ve fealt ok on these meds for a while something will occurr to me to fill my life with meaning. But at the moment still relatively meaningless. At least my meds are working ok. That’s something. SP

Response:

I was prescribed triavil about 18 years ago for obsesssive compulsive disorder and depression. I immediately lost my emotional depth and felt like an integral part of my personality dissappeared. The emotional flatness is like a cold, icy winter compared to the hot, steamy emotional life I had before. I’m taking some antidepressants now . I’ve tried all kinds of drugs. I feel that I only have death to look forward. I’ve tried all kinds of drugs. Nothing seems to help. I had an MRI of my brain 2 years ago. It showed that my left ventricle was larger than my right. I’ve just read that enlargement of this ventricle is associated with the negative symptoms of schizophrenia. I might be willing to accept that I have this disorder, if the definition of schizophrenia can be extended to those conditions caused by neuroleptics. I really don’t know what to do. Steve

Response:

Your saga seems to suggest that you have not had the right diagnosis and treatment. Some of the new high tech neuroleptics are not as nasty as the stuff from the past. IMHO, you should try some new doctors and maybe something like Geodon. There are people who have half their brain missing from childhood diseases, and yet function completely normaly. Enlarged vertricles as an adult is more serious, but I think there is room for hope. 1/3 of schizophrenics recover and never again have trouble. I don’t want to say that the neuroleptics didn’t do this, but there are other explanations that may be more probable. This group has a lot of experience. Maybe you could list your symptoms and the meds that you have tried….

Response:

Counting, weighing, missing…

admin — Sun, 26 Aug 2001 00:00:00 +0000

Question:

I don’t sit down and count calories, I pretty much know portion size and calories for most food I eat. If I get myself into a stale mate I just pay really close attention to what I am doing and it is pretty much effortless. I will not count calories or anything else the rest of my life either. Once you get the hang of this, it doesn’t have to be time consuming. Roxan

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – How many of you have spent most of your lives, counting calories, counting fat grams, weighing foods and yourself, missing meals, exercising until you can no more, sweating, pumping, walking, running, flaking exhausted in bed at night because you are tired? I was just wondering because I’ve spent most of my life doing these things and I’m tired, but I don’t know how to live life without it. One day, I hope, I won’t have to count, count, weigh, miss but I think I’ll always enjoy a walk. I’d love to be like some of my friends that eat what they want, when they want, exercise because they enjoy it and are never on diets. Ahhhh the perfect world, what a dream ) By the way, still on that damn plateau!!!! I keep singing the song by Johnny O’Keefe that was "move baby move, get in the groove now, move baby move" But nothings moving so then I start singing "lets hold on to what we’ve got, don’t let go girl, we’ve got alot!" by Barry Manilow. LOLOLOL Gee I have to get better music sense!!! LOL Anyways, just letting you know I’m still around, reading posts, plateau’ng, still renovating (less than 2 weeks go before family arrive), and singing weird songs ) Keep up the great work fellow ASD people!!! — Rose "My friend is one… who takes me for what I am." (238/200/140 lbs) (108/91/63 kgs)

Response:

I no longer do that. How many of you have spent most of your lives, counting calories, counting fat grams, weighing foods and yourself, missing meals, exercising until you can no more, sweating, pumping, walking, running, flaking exhausted in bed at night because you are tired?

– Diva "There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure." Eleanor Roosevelt

Response:

How many of you have spent most of your lives, counting calories, counting fat grams, weighing foods and yourself, missing meals, exercising until you can no more, sweating, pumping, walking, running, flaking exhausted in bed at night because you are tired? I was just wondering because I’ve spent most of my life doing these things and I’m tired, but I don’t know how to live life without it. One day, I hope, I won’t have to count, count, weigh, miss but I think I’ll always enjoy a walk. I’d love to be like some of my friends that eat what they want, when they want, exercise because they enjoy it and are never on diets. Ahhhh the perfect world, what a dream ) By the way, still on that damn plateau!!!! I keep singing the song by Johnny O’Keefe that was "move baby move, get in the groove now, move baby move" But nothings moving so then I start singing "lets hold on to what we’ve got, don’t let go girl, we’ve got alot!" by Barry Manilow. LOLOLOL Gee I have to get better music sense!!! LOL Anyways, just letting you know I’m still around, reading posts, plateau’ng, still renovating (less than 2 weeks go before family arrive), and singing weird songs ) Keep up the great work fellow ASD people!!! — Rose "My friend is one… who takes me for what I am." (238/200/140 lbs) (108/91/63 kgs)

Response:

Totally agree!! I have a friend that is so thin, she can eat anything and never gains weight. She has a compulsive disorder that she can’t stay still for a second. She is always rushing around and always looks tired. If its not one compulsion is another I wouldn’t want to be in her shoes either. Im glad that I am where I am. I count when I am not strong enough to say no and it works for me, but I am finding that I am counting alot less these days which is terrific. I use to count all day, now I may count once a week or at times once a fortnight, so I think I’m finding a new way of life. Sure on a plateau, but that plateau will shift one of these days and when it Rose!!!!! — Rose "My friend is one… who takes me for what I am." (238/200/140 lbs) (108/91/63 kgs)

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I used to think there were others out there who could eat whenever and whatever…but I am not in their skins 24/7/365. When we see others eat, we are only looking at a sliver of their lives. I really think most people do watch what they eat at least part of the time. Absolutely. I think we just see a) they’re thin and b) they’re eating chili cheese fries in front of us, so they must "be able to eat like that and stay thin." Who knows how many salads that person eats the rest of the month. Or how often they run/go to the gym/play soccer/whatever. Granted, we all probably know one or two people who really do eat like machines and never gain weight, but they are the exceptions, and as we’ve seen here from time to time, that sort of metabolism doesn’t always hold out forever. On the other hand, there are certainly lots of people out there for whom food truly is fuel and not an emotional tool of some sort, which makes eating less (with an occasional big meal out) no big deal. Just a whole lot of peoples’ mileage varying, all day every day…! — –jd 239/196.5/179 again!, then 159

Response:

The one person I have known who truly could eat anything and everything in mass quantities had such a nervous disposition that she was really hard to be around. We were co-workers and "Jane, calm down" was our boss’s constant plea to her. I wouldn’t want her metabolism for anything in the world! Also, remember Kate Moss, the model who was thinner than Twiggy. She claimed that her skinniness was just due to her high metabolism. Turned out the she had a raging cocaine habit; that’s what fueled her metabolism. Again, I wouldn’t want to be her. The old cliche is true: the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. In our cases, the fat is always thinner on the supermodel, actress, or co-worker. But there is always a reason why that’s so. In the case of the former women, they either spent four or five hours a day in the gym when they’re not working, or have themselves a nasty drug habit or they’re anorexic. And sadly, Jane is so hard to live with that no one will. That’s not how most of us want to live our lives. Just some thoughts. My humble opinions. Tonia

Response:

Good post and so true. Roxan

Response:

I used to think there were others out there who could eat whenever and whatever…but I am not in their skins 24/7/365. When we see others eat, we are only looking at a sliver of their lives. I really think most people do watch what they eat at least part of the time.

Absolutely. I think we just see a) they’re thin and b) they’re eating chili cheese fries in front of us, so they must "be able to eat like that and stay thin." Who knows how many salads that person eats the rest of the month. Or how often they run/go to the gym/play soccer/whatever. Granted, we all probably know one or two people who really do eat like machines and never gain weight, but they are the exceptions, and as we’ve seen here from time to time, that sort of metabolism doesn’t always hold out forever. On the other hand, there are certainly lots of people out there for whom food truly is fuel and not an emotional tool of some sort, which makes eating less (with an occasional big meal out) no big deal. Just a whole lot of peoples’ mileage varying, all day every day…! — –jd 239/196.5/179 again!, then 159

Response:

Sometimes the weighing and measuring and counting feels like a security blanket, sometimes a noose around my neck…it all depends on the mood I am in at the time. I’d love to be like some of my friends that eat what they want, when they want, exercise because they enjoy it and are never on diets.

Response:

Tomorrow Weigh In

admin — Fri, 27 Apr 2001 00:00:00 +0000

Question:

Ok I did something……I should have not done. I decided to weigh myself at work yesterday and today before I go to my WW meeting tomorrow. Of course that scale shows that I have only lost 1 pound. Now I am a little hesitant to go weigh in tomorrow….b/c afterall this is my 2nd week and only loosing 1 pound…….doesn’t sit well with me. I have followed everything to the book, kept within my points and exercised 3 times this week. I tend to get discouraged after weighing in…….and I am venting here b/c I know I need to get my courage up as well as my determination if I only see program I had a slight compulsive disorder in weighing myself 3 to 4 times a day! I have since gotten away from that until yesterday…… Thanks for letting me vent……just wish me luck tomorrow. — Marianne aka Mambo Tampa, FL

Response:

Marianne, don’t get hung up on the scales. I have found that the weight varies according to so many variables during any given week. Even if I do everything perfectly, the reward may come much later than at the next weigh in. Similarly, a bad day will show on the scales only a couple days later – just when I thought I had gotten away with it. I do this at home, and have picked Tuesday as my "official" weigh in day. However, I weigh myself every morning and keep an eye on the running average. I have proven to myself time and time again that a few bad weigh ins do not mean the overall trend of losing would change. So, try to think long term and forget about the arbitrary time of one week for losing or gaining according to sticking to plan. Anyway, the scales at work and at your meeting are probably not showing exactly the same weights, so you can’t really compare them. Mia — 220/183/152 pounds 100/83/69 kilos A Finn in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Ok I did something……I should have not done. I decided to weigh myself at work yesterday and today before I go to my WW meeting tomorrow. Of course that scale shows that I have only lost 1 pound. Now I am a little hesitant to go weigh in tomorrow….b/c afterall this is my 2nd week and only loosing 1 pound…….doesn’t sit well with me. I have followed everything to the book, kept within my points and exercised 3 times this week. I tend to get discouraged after weighing in…….and I am venting here b/c I know I need to get my courage up as well as my determination if I only see program I had a slight compulsive disorder in weighing myself 3 to 4 times a day! I have since gotten away from that until yesterday…… Thanks for letting me vent……just wish me luck tomorrow. — Marianne aka Mambo Tampa, FL

Response:

I agree with this, but why is it that WW only allows for a 2 lbs window for lifetime? Is it a money thing? This more than anything else has made me a slave of the scale. I’m so afraid to go over that 2 lbs, that I counteract by losing weight instead of maintaining. Well, I have just started maintenance, but that’s how I feel right now. The scale will not control me. It’s feeling good about how I look and feel that’s important. I will have to say this every morning and every night when I go to bed. Maybe one day, it’ll sink in. Michelle

Response:

By all means GO! The scales are a pain, but the encouragement is worth all of it! I always feel better when I go, even if I have a gain. Remember, this weight didn’t get on there overnight. It will be lots of overnights to get it to come off.

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Marianne, don’t get hung up on the scales. I have found that the weight varies according to so many variables during any given week. Even if I do everything perfectly, the reward may come much later than at the next weigh in. Similarly, a bad day will show on the scales only a couple days later – just when I thought I had gotten away with it. I agree with this, but why is it that WW only allows for a 2 lbs window for lifetime? Is it a money thing? This more than anything else has made me a slave of the scale. I’m so afraid to go over that 2 lbs, that I counteract by losing weight instead of maintaining. Well, I have just started maintenance, but that’s how I feel right now. The scale will not control me. It’s feeling good about how I look and feel that’s important. I will have to say this every morning and every night when I go to bed. Maybe one day, it’ll sink in. Michelle

Its 2 pounds because at two pounds it is easy to do something about it It is just a couple of weeks weight loss – no big deal for an experienced WWer If it was 5 pounds that would be Big Deal 10 pounds and you might as well buy a series of meetings! Stephen Rees Richmond BC, Canada to reply by email take off yer boots 204.8/165.6/164 http://communities.msn.ca/TheReesWeightLosssite

Response:

Any resemblance between your weight at home today and your weight tomorrow at your meeting is purely coincidental. Ignore home weigh-ins, rely on your once-a-week official one. I drove myself crazy on scale jumping, too. Carol Schmidt

Response:

Ha, the Finnish system allows 2 kilos which is equal to 4.4 pounds. Strange. Mia — 220/183/152 pounds 100/83/69 kilos A Finn in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Marianne, don’t get hung up on the scales. I have found that the weight varies according to so many variables during any given week. Even if I do everything perfectly, the reward may come much later than at the next weigh in. Similarly, a bad day will show on the scales only a couple days later – just when I thought I had gotten away with it. I agree with this, but why is it that WW only allows for a 2 lbs window for lifetime? Is it a money thing? This more than anything else has made me a slave of the scale. I’m so afraid to go over that 2 lbs, that I counteract by losing weight instead of maintaining. Well, I have just started maintenance, but that’s how I feel right now. The scale will not control me. It’s feeling good about how I look and feel that’s important. I will have to say this every morning and every night when I go to bed. Maybe one day, it’ll sink in. Michelle

Response:

Question about Paxil?

admin — Sat, 03 Mar 2001 00:00:00 +0000

Question:

My Doctor put me on Paxil for Depression I been off work for 2 years do to a work injury i am getting w/c Benifits but after awhile of not working it took a toll on me getting Depressed Does Anyone know how long it takes to start working? And if it works good? Mike

I used to take Paxil, and I recall it took about three weeks for it to start working well .. but for me, it actually started to work too well.. Let me explain: Paxil caused me to get very manic, similar to what you would see in someone who has bi-polar depression (except I had no low). My behavior became irradic and I did a lot of reckless, impulsive, and compulsive things while on Paxil.. To me, none of it seemed strange or irradict at the time and it took a relative to put me in the hospital to get off the Paxil as my irradict behavior was getting me into trouble (financial, social, etc). It’s rare for this to happen, so I don’t know if anyone on this group could relate to me. Fortunately, once I came off the Paxil, I was back to my good ol’ self. No more spending sprees, staying up days in a row with a grin on my face from ear-to-ear, and no more reckless behavior. When I talked with the docs, they told me I had gotten what was called drug induced mania from the Paxil. From what I’ve heard, it’s a rare side effect, but a very unpleasant one. One I hope to never ever repeat again. I’ve heard Paxil works well for some people, doesn’t work for others. As they say, you’e mileage may vary. So, all I can say is give it a try and see how you feel between 3 and 4 weeks on it. Currently I am taking Luvox as an anti-depressant and getting excellent results from it. Luvox is an anti-depressant made for people who have obessive compulsive disorder (OCD), however it works great for anxiety according to my doc who put me on it. My problem was mainly anxiety related with a little bit of depression. My depression seems to be more situational opposed to being constant. For example, if I go for more than a few days in a lot of pain, I start getting very depressed. Even depressed enough to think about the worst — but thankfully it has never come to that – I honestly don’t think I could ever do it. However, once the pain is controlled I am no longer depressed. Plus – my pain relief is good now and I’m quite happy! Regards, Skippy

Response:

Docs like to say that it takes as long as 3 weeks to see improvement with AD’s. I never trust a drug that takes that long. After that long i would forget how i was feeling before. I guess you would note that you felt like going out more or something. If it was working, that is. There are many AD’s out there, it is a matter of trial and error to find the right one. And when each one takes a month for results, it can be a very long search. I hope it helps you, actually, my husband was on wellbutrin and he seemed to feel better in a matter of days, but then wore off and he eventually dropped it. Paxil made him ill. Paxil is being advertized now on tv as a aid for extreme shyness or even aggraphobia, and other phobias. Some like wellbutrin and, i think, zoloft are used in smoking cessation programs. They are all trying to find their niche, but most doctors don’t seem to understand them much, so neither do i. Good luck, some people are helped with them.

Response:

Mike, I tried Paxil, but it did absolutely nothing for me. I do know of others on Paxil and they have good luck with it. If I am not mistaken, and since it has been a while since I was on it, I think it takes approximately 4-6 weeks to start working…just like the other SSRI’s. Robin I am *not* a Medical Doctor (MD) or *any* other type of Medical Professional. PLEASE consult your own Dr. for medical advice. The information posted is information I have learned from researching or learning from my own disease.

Response:

Been on it for 6 years. Took about a week…made me horribly sleepy for a week, then I was a new person. Enjoy. Rae

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – My Doctor put me on Paxil for Depression I been off work for 2 years do to a work injury i am getting w/c Benifits but after awhile of not working it took a toll on me getting Depressed Does Anyone know how long it takes to start working? And if it works good? Mike

Response:

Worried about authorities

admin — Sun, 25 Feb 2001 00:00:00 +0000

Question:

>Matt Wells wrote in message >news:3a994e13.220859921@news.sprint.ca… >> I tried taking Luvox for awhile but didn’t like the way it made me feel. I’ve felt >> much better after I stopped using it.

How exactly did it make you feel? Did you or your doctor take you off of the med? Was it side effects? Did the med just ‘not work’? >> Anyway, my number one worry all the time is that I will inadvertently >> break some kind of law and will get arrested

This is nothing more than classic OCD. When the OCD starts to manifest, oftentimes a worry (aka obssession part of OCD) will be about something that is very uncharacteristic of ourselves. We know that the behavior we are worrying about doing or not doing does not coincide with what we know to be our true selves. This is the OCD playing its horrible tricks nothing more. It would be good to still monitor yourself in case the obession (the worry) begins to warrant compulsions. Take note of how you react to your worries, tell your wife and your doctor about them (are you keeping records?) >> separating me from my wife (I didn’t worry about this before I met her, which probably is >> significant).

Sounds like you’re worried about losing your wife- which is a common worry, but the OCD has blown it out of proportion/exaggerated it. I’m not saying that you should completely drop the feeling cuz it’s natural to care about those we love, *but when it becomes excessive, intrusive, and crippling then it’s the OCD.* >> Just recently I was all worked up because my employers spelled my name slightly wrong >> (Mathew as opposed to Matthew) on my T-4! (That’s a W-2 for Americans I think, >> the payroll form used for income tax). I know that it’s silly, but I get these thoughts that >> the tax office will think that I’m trying to fraud them, and come arrest me.

I have to smile a little on this for I too have an unusual first-name spelling. Pet peeve stuff, mostly it’s no biggie. After all it’s just one little "T", but then again you know that. The OCD has blown this out of proportion again. If it makes you feel better, talk to the guy who handles the payroll and ask him to change the spelling to the correct one. If he gets bent out of shape then it’s his problem. Whether it gets changed or not, the Gestapo will *NOT* come to get you! Don’t feel silly: part of it (the pet peeve side of it) is something many of us deal with anyway, but the bit about the cops is the OCD. *If it helps*, after talking with personnel about it, write it down on a piece of paper that you indeed had the conversation and then write "NO BIG DEAL" underneath. Keep it in a location that’s visible to you, but not so obvious to your co-workers if you are senitive to that. >> Anybody else have problems similar to this?

ABSOLUTELY! Most OCD sufferers have excessive and UNREALISTIC worries. It’s part of the ‘Obession’ in Obessive-Compulsive Disorder. I too get these sorts of worries. Sometimes the worries/obessions are out of the blue in terms of their subject matter and sometimes they are legitimate concerns that get exagerated by the OCD. Bottom Line: You’re not alone, and it’s just the OCD. -Heron I’m not a doctor, just a fellow patient. HTHY!

Response:

For your first offence you probably wouldn’t get jail time anyway, just probation. You wouldn’t be seperated from your wife after committing your first offence. – Thrasher Matt Wells wrote in article <3a994e13.220859…@news.sprint.ca>… | Hi everyone, | | This is my first posting to this board. I am a 23-year old OCD | sufferer, and I’ve probably had it most of my life. I tried taking | Luvox for awhile but didn’t like the way it made me feel. I’ve felt | much better after I stopped using it. | | Anyway, my number one worry all the time is that I will inadvertently | break some kind of law and will get arrested, separating me from my | wife (I didn’t worry about this before I met her, which probably is | significant). Just recently I was all worked up because my employers | spelled my name slightly wrong (Mathew as opposed to Matthew) on my | T-4! (That’s a W-2 for Americans I think, the payroll form used for | income tax). I know that it’s silly, but I get these thoughts that | the tax office will think that I’m trying to fraud them, and come | arrest me. It sounds so silly as I write it down, yet as I do it | worries me further. I had a similar problem on one of my credit | cards, and had the same worries. | | Just the thought of me in jail is too much for me to bear. I think it | turns me into too much of a boy scout, always worrying about doing | exactly the right thing (not that I want to rob banks or anything, but | I make sure that I’m always on time for work, I don’t talk out of line | to anybody, stuff like that). | | Anybody else have problems similar to this? | | Matt | |

Response:

Matt, How long did you take LUVOX? Did you give your body time to get acclimated to the drug? It is a great drug. Matt Wells wrote in message

news:3a994e13.220859921@news.sprint.ca… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Hi everyone, > This is my first posting to this board. I am a 23-year old OCD > sufferer, and I’ve probably had it most of my life. I tried taking > Luvox for awhile but didn’t like the way it made me feel. I’ve felt > much better after I stopped using it. > Anyway, my number one worry all the time is that I will inadvertently > break some kind of law and will get arrested, separating me from my > wife (I didn’t worry about this before I met her, which probably is > significant). Just recently I was all worked up because my employers > spelled my name slightly wrong (Mathew as opposed to Matthew) on my > T-4! (That’s a W-2 for Americans I think, the payroll form used for > income tax). I know that it’s silly, but I get these thoughts that > the tax office will think that I’m trying to fraud them, and come > arrest me. It sounds so silly as I write it down, yet as I do it > worries me further. I had a similar problem on one of my credit > cards, and had the same worries. > Just the thought of me in jail is too much for me to bear. I think it > turns me into too much of a boy scout, always worrying about doing > exactly the right thing (not that I want to rob banks or anything, but > I make sure that I’m always on time for work, I don’t talk out of line > to anybody, stuff like that). > Anybody else have problems similar to this? > Matt

Response:

Ha! Everytime I drive past a cop I do a quick check of what I’m doing wrong! Normally, if I am, the kind officer takes the time to tell me ( I was returning from a gig tonight, I rode with the bass player. We passed a cop, and we started to talk about getting pulled over. Well, guess what? She gets pulled over! (License plate light was out – just a warning.) "Matt Wells" wrote in message

Response:

I don’t worry about being thrown in jail so much, but I do worry about things like income tax and not breaking the law. I think I would be slightly upset if they spelled my name wrong, although I assume they have some other sort of way to identify you on the form. (we have social security numbers) I also try to be on time and it really makes me upset when other coworkers routinely stroll in 15 minutes or a half hour late and don’t mark their lateness down on their time sheets. I almost wish we had time clocks so that the cheaters would not be able to get away with it anymore. I tell my boss but she never does anything about it. Lately, I have been coming in 5 or 10 minutes late because I am tired of always being the first one in and getting stuck doing all the work but I don’t like playing this game. Just my luck, I will be the one who gets caught. I really like to be a good employee. I used to be like you and not start any trouble, but after about 7 or so years there, I started to develop a mouth on me. Now I’ve been there 17 years and I’m tired of getting shit on. If you don’t stick up for yourself, no one else will. Ida "Matt Wells" wrote in message

Response:

Hi everyone, This is my first posting to this board. I am a 23-year old OCD sufferer, and I’ve probably had it most of my life. I tried taking Luvox for awhile but didn’t like the way it made me feel. I’ve felt much better after I stopped using it. Anyway, my number one worry all the time is that I will inadvertently break some kind of law and will get arrested, separating me from my wife (I didn’t worry about this before I met her, which probably is significant). Just recently I was all worked up because my employers spelled my name slightly wrong (Mathew as opposed to Matthew) on my T-4! (That’s a W-2 for Americans I think, the payroll form used for income tax). I know that it’s silly, but I get these thoughts that the tax office will think that I’m trying to fraud them, and come arrest me. It sounds so silly as I write it down, yet as I do it worries me further. I had a similar problem on one of my credit cards, and had the same worries. Just the thought of me in jail is too much for me to bear. I think it turns me into too much of a boy scout, always worrying about doing exactly the right thing (not that I want to rob banks or anything, but I make sure that I’m always on time for work, I don’t talk out of line to anybody, stuff like that). Anybody else have problems similar to this? Matt

Response:

Please, need help coping?

admin — Thu, 19 Oct 2000 00:00:00 +0000

Question:

"Hassled Housepuppy" hass…@mailandnews.com wrote: >But, far more important to me right now, pray do tell, where can I get >reliable (and also genuinely impartial) advice as to how to resolve my >marriage and personal problems without (yet again) getting into the >(unwelcome and unwanted) drip-feed of masked or blatant religion or all the >usual "alternative" therapies?

Reliable? This is counsel, not a product warrantee program. Opinions, views and suggests are offered up to you, and then you decide for yourself whether what you read can be helpful to you. Sometimes, just a change of perspective is more useful than a change of circumstance. So you state your problem as best you can, listen to the feedback, and then as Floridanewbie suggested, take what’s useful and simply disregard the rest. CJ

Response:

>> Reliable? This is counsel, not a product warrantee program. >I think the OP means reliable as in better quality than tarot card >readings or Dionne Warwick’s psychic network.

I"d guess better than the former and i can"t comment about the latter

Response:

"Hassled Housepuppy" hass…@mailandnews.com wrote: >CJ >Thank you for your observations. You will see from my long missives with >floridanewbie that that is what I’m trying to achieve, but none of it has >worked well enough for me in the past.

It’s frankly hard to be helpful if you’re only giving out tidbits and pieces of what’s going on with you and your marriage. If you’re genuinely looking for advice, counsel, opinions, or even just a different perspective, it’s not going to come from us playing guessing games with what might or might not be your actual situation. So put it down in story form; narrate what’s been happening with your marriage and where you perceive the problem to be right now. But we frankly can’t say much of anything before this is done. It’s challenge enough to be helpful when folks are frank and candid. But it’s near impossible to say anything constructive or relivent without first hearing a good description of the situation. So lay it out. CJ

Response:

Thank you for your (eventual) good grace. From your opening comment about "troll", although I did not understand your previous comment about "honest spammer" at the time, it has become evident that I was somewhat misguided using the inappropriate phrase "Trolling around the search engines in desperation" – I’m afraid, pure ignorance on Internet phrases on my part, I can assure you – it seemed more apt than "surfing the search engines", but there you go, you learn by your mistakes all the time! Turning to matters of real relevance, and the elusive question of resolving marriage problems, I take on board your comment about a deja.com search. This is near to the heart of my problem. I have searched for solutions every which way I can think of around subjects like, for example, Addiction and alcohol abuse, Worry, Anxiety, Depression, Insecurity, Step-child problems/Turbulent and troubled teenagers, Low self-esteem, Poor communication, Unfounded fears and Excessively high materialistic expectations. Whilst there are hundreds of matches and threads on some of these (even 000’s in places), and I’ve looked at many, I’ve not really come up with any meaningful solutions. As you say, the solutions might be there but under obscure titles, and this makes it all the more difficult. And yes, I’ve been into, for example, the alt.depression groups, but found them altogether too offensive and aggressive to be constructive, so I’ve left them alone. In part, this is why I began to feel more comfortable in asm and really wanted to even contribute something. And yes, I had already put your advice into practice in going through the strings of comments, looking for ever more specific replies, in the hope of gleaning pieces I could apply. It is clear to me that many of the comments made by several regular contributors are extremely well intended, but I am not seeing the deep seated solutions that I really need, which is why I am trying to take the subjects much further. You suggest I provide some clues as to the problems that I face. The above list is a pretty good (but seriously understated) start. Consolation is that my wife and I are truly devoted and committed to each other, but there exists a long history of dealing with all of the above and much much more that spills over from these central problems. In truth, we are both at our wits end, with zero quality of life, and don’t know where to turn. This is what caught my eye in stumbling over the F W Consultancy thing. Anyone out there with practical experience of approaching them, or dealing with them? If I was really honest with myself, heart of hearts, I think I wanted George to try them, or someone else to come forward within asm and say they knew about them (in a positive experience sense), before having the courage to approach them myself. Deep down, I don’t really care dreadfully much about the credit card risk thing, or the (reasonable) cost of help, if I can get some genuine help. What caught my attention were phrases like, "solving marriage problems", "definitive solutions" and, of course, "No marriage need fail", all of which is what we want, but I had never heard of marriage consultancy before and didn’t know what to do. I take on board your point about "poor person" and "hugs", which is fine by me, and I don’t easily get offended by "home truths", but even after all the therapy and counseling we are still struggling with things that have dogged the marriage all along and I don’t know how to be rid of them. What we know we have to do is get past all the "buy more flowers/presents" or "have more sex/spark up your sex life" suggestions because all of these have proven as not being enough (even though they have helped a little). Before taking up your final suggestion, and setting out the specifics of the present troubles, I thought I would see what suggestions might be forthcoming for sorting out the long list of problems above. Whilst waiting, pray do tell, why do I need to use another name to set out a new thread? Thank you for your kind thoughts, and I’m certainly keen to "see what happens" Hassled Housepuppy floridanewbie wrote in message

news:3a003711.38271019@news.mindspring.com… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> On Wed, 1 Nov 2000 14:23:36 -0000, "Hassled Housepuppy" > wrote: > Hiya Housepuppy, > Welcome to alt.support.marriage (asm) > Thank you for your long, thoughtful post to my ever cynical remarks. > While in previous posts I allowed you might not be a spamming troll, > my suspicions remained until your recent reply. At this stage I can > see you are looking for information and help … I apologize if my > previous remarks made you feel even worse. > You ask where the help and/or reading suggestions are for your > problems … fair enough. First though, you have to provide some > clues as to what problems you face or would like to resolve. Some > might suggest you do a deja.com search on a specific asm topic since > almost everything has been convered here at one time or another but > the deja.com archives are falling apart and besides, some of the best > stuff is not under subject titles that are obvious. > > >Where does that leave me? Ah, yes! Newsgroup recommended reading, or was > >that Newsgroup’s favoured Spammed reading? You say that several publications > >are regularly recommended. Pardon me for trying, but I can’t remember seeing > >one on solving my marriage issues. Pray tell me exactly where to look? > >Before opening my mouth this time, I’ve been back and had another look, but > >can’t see what you’re referring to, specifically. Perhaps you can be more > >specific – titles, authors, what their qualifications are, who owns them and > >who backs their knowledge, why I should trust them, why I should trust your > >judgement over any such otherwise unknown (to me) source, why I should be > >prepared to get my credit card out for them – all that sort of thing might > >be real supportive and helpful. > You say you had been lurking before finally posting to George … > while reading all those other posts didn’t you notice that when people > lay out a problem or situation, others make suggestions which may be > helpful? In fact, in the threads where the original poster comes > back to add information or clarify something, the suggestions > generally become more and more concrete…. that is until the thread > veers off into left field as often happens with loooong threads > > >Problem for me is, with more trouble brewing at home, I need some real help > >right now but you’ve instilled doubts in my mind too. > Good, you are not gullible > Around Usenet, there is an old saying to take what you can use and > leave the rest. When you come to a public support group, you may > hear things you do not like. This is not one of those groups where > people tell you "poor person … {{{{hugs}}}}" … on the other hand, > sometimes all it takes is one or two solid suggestions to get a person > to consider something they just had not thought about. > Why not give the folks around here a crack at your problem … lay out > what trouble is brewing and see what happens. You may get nothing of > value but there is always the chance something will click. Keep in > mind, most people here are ordinary folks … even those with training > in counseling and therapy are here as regular folks. I have no > training in this stuff … consider me to be akin to a pet rock. > > >Perhaps you can resolve that dilemma for me, as well. If you can tell me > >exactly how I can sort out my marriage, or what books I can buy off the > >shelf that will tell me exactly what to do, or which ones to get out of the > >Library or Newsgroup, I’ll be eternally grateful. If not, I’ll send the > >e-mail and be damned, and let you know if and when they reply if you’re > >genuinely interested in being constructive about other people’s problems. > >In the meantime, how about giving some genuine marriage support with some > >RELIABLE recommended reading, instead of serving me unsettling and unnerving > >platitudes and accusations? > Start a new thread, either using your housepuppy name or another one > … let’s see what happens. > Regardless, I do hope you are able to solve the problems you face. > Floridanewbie

Response:

On Fri, 3 Nov 2000 14:58:41 -0000, "Hassled Housepuppy" wrote:

>Turning to matters of real relevance, and the elusive question of resolving >marriage problems, I take on board your comment about a deja.com search. >This is near to the heart of my problem. I have searched for solutions every >which way I can think of around subjects like, for example, Addiction and >alcohol abuse, Worry, Anxiety, Depression, Insecurity, Step-child >problems/Turbulent and troubled teenagers, Low self-esteem, Poor >communication, Unfounded fears and Excessively high materialistic >expectations.

Other than an addiction to porn you have hit on about every ill a relationship might encounter over a lifetime … yet I guess all this is going on at once in your life… that is quite a burden. I don’t think a single book is going to help unless you can focus on your most immediate problems or at least break them down into discrete entities. Are you the one with the addictions, depression and insecurities? Have you had a complete physical by your doctor? Is professional counseling (individual, family or marriage) out of the question? >The above list is a pretty good (but seriously understated) start. >Consolation is that my wife and I are truly devoted and committed to each >other, but there exists a long history of dealing with all of the above and >much much more that spills over from these central problems. In truth, we >are both at our wits end, with zero quality of life, and don’t know where to >turn. This is what caught my eye in stumbling over the F W Consultancy >thing. >Anyone out there with practical experience of approaching them, or dealing >with them?

Are you talking about problems with your children? If so, how old are they and what has transpired to bring you to your wits end? >If I was really honest with myself, heart of hearts, I think I wanted George >to try them, or someone else to come forward within asm and say they knew >about them (in a positive experience sense), before having the courage to >approach them myself. >Deep down, I don’t really care dreadfully much about the credit card risk >thing, or the (reasonable) cost of help, if I can get some genuine help. >What caught my attention were phrases like, "solving marriage problems", >"definitive solutions" and, of course, "No marriage need fail", all of which >is what we want, but I had never heard of marriage consultancy before and >didn’t know what to do.

Some people think highly of Michele Weiner-Davis (although some think she is useless but that is true of all therapists): http://www.weiner-davis.com/ Others think very highly of Willard Harley, Jr: http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ Here is a site that some claim saved their faltering marriages: Retrouvaille … a Lifeline for Married Couples A Program to Help Couples Heal and Renew their own Marriage Relationship. http://www.retrouvaille.org/ If you have been following the group long, you may have seen the recommendation to read David Schnarch’s book "Passionate Marriage" or books by John Gottman: Why Marriages Succeed or Fail The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work >Before taking up your final suggestion, and setting out the specifics of the >present troubles, I thought I would see what suggestions might be >forthcoming for sorting out the long list of problems above.

Without something a bit more concrete, I’m not certain you will get much of a response. I’ve tossed out a few ideas to see if they might serve as a catalyst for discussion but we may be talking in circles … which, at times, is something at which I excel >Whilst waiting, pray do tell, why do I need to use another name to set out a >new thread?

Absolutely no need to do either but if you felt the Hassled Housepuppy name had been tainted with the "troll" label, it would be easy enough to come back under a fresh name. I don’t think that is a problem now that you have explained your newness to Usenet newsgroups and the peculiar terminology we sometimes take for granted. As for starting a new thread, it might help to get folks focused specifically on the matters you would like to discuss … when you tag onto an existing thread, there is a risk people have lost interest in the thread and thus are no longer reading new posts that may come in. Floridanewbie

Response:

CJ Thank you for your observations. You will see from my long missives with floridanewbie that that is what I’m trying to achieve, but none of it has worked well enough for me in the past. Hassled Housepuppy CJMorgan59 wrote in message

news:20001101175735.18152.00000067@ng-fr1.aol.com… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> "Hassled Housepuppy" hass…@mailandnews.com wrote: > >But, far more important to me right now, pray do tell, where can I get > >reliable (and also genuinely impartial) advice as to how to resolve my > >marriage and personal problems without (yet again) getting into the > >(unwelcome and unwanted) drip-feed of masked or blatant religion or all the > >usual "alternative" therapies? > Reliable? This is counsel, not a product warrantee program. Opinions, views and > suggests are offered up to you, and then you decide for yourself whether what > you read can be helpful to you. Sometimes, just a change of perspective is more > useful than a change of circumstance. > So you state your problem as best you can, listen to the feedback, and then as > Floridanewbie suggested, take what’s useful and simply disregard the rest. > CJ

Response:

Gidget Being somewhat of a novice at all of this, and having made a fool of myself already over the misuse of the word "trolling", could you please explain OP and MMOB. By the way, can anybody point me at a glossary of Newsgroup terms? Hassled Housepuppy Gidget wrote in message

news:MPG.146a70b3d078323b98990b@news… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> In article <20001101175735.18152.00000…@ng-fr1.aol.com>, > cjmorga…@aol.com says… > > Reliable? This is counsel, not a product warrantee program. > I think the OP means reliable as in better quality than tarot card > readings or Dionne Warwick’s psychic network. > Ok, I’ll MMOB now. :)

Response:

George You certainly seem to have your share of problems, many of which I can identify with through a lifetime of painful experiences of my own After years of desperate trouble, and trying every form of counseling, therapy and analysis under the sun to no avail, I seem to have hit on some help that might make sense for you Trolling around the Search Engines in desperation one day, I happened upon a statement ‘No Marriage Need Fail’ and thought this absolutely had to be the usual complete Bull****. Turns out it was some organization giving "expert" advice on solving marriage problems. At my wits end at the time, it seemed worth a closer look It seems I have been looking for help in all the wrong places. They say that counseling doesn’t really ever set out to solve problems, and therapy and analysis is something altogether different, but what they say they provide is "Consultancy advice". Never heard of that sort of help for marriage before, but apparently it exists and it’s a consultant’s job to sort you out an actual solution to problems like this and not a counselor. I haven’t actually tried them yet, ‘cos things have quietened down at home for me, but give it a look. If you want to save your marriage, they say they will tell you how. It’s at www.fwconsultancy.com Best of luck, and don’t give up on what you want! george wrote in message

news:aOOH5.9100$Tl6.67508@news4.atl… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Hi all. New to the group. Hope it won’t have to become a habit. This is > going to be a little long and complicated. Sorry to tell my life story, but > can’t tell this any other way. > Background: > I am 42 years old. My wife is 43. I am catholic(non-practicing), she is > Jewish (ditto). She is originally from California, I’m from Kentucky. We > live in Louisville, where I was raised. She considers Kentucky to be her > home. We are both Professional Geologists, and met in College. But we > didn’t start dating in earnest until after we both started working for the > same consulting firm. We both had bad experiences with the firm, and left > it together. We decided to try to start our own company (I know, don’t work > with a loved one or spouse – never was a problem, though). She has two > girls (women): (No children from our marriage). One is currently > twenty-two, the other is twenty. I have almost always gotten along with the > oldest, in fact we are very close. She has a little boy who is six years > old (she got pregnant two months before the wife and I got married). The > youngest one, though, has never accepted me. She has been diagnosed with > schizopreniform psychosis (at the age of 17). > Diggression – this girl has been a living nightmare for the both of us. > Quit school (blames us for her quitting). She once kicked me in the face, > cusses me out all the time, ran away twice, was mixed up with a really bad > bunch of drug addicts and criminals, took my new (at the time) car for a joy > ride before she was old enough to get a license and nearly totalled it. > Fortunately, nobody got hurt. She tried to commit suicide twice. Both times > with drugs. Finally, my wife had to kick her out. The first time was > before she turned 18. Then I kicked her out after she turned 18 (trashed > the house in a party while we were away – her FRIENDS stole my computer, > cameras, and other things. She has broken the back door, and at least five > windows in the house, and busted holes in the walls. I spend most of my > free time fixing things. All in all, between my wife and I, she had to move > out at least five times. She has been in trouble with the law. We tried to > get some serious help for her, through the courts (what a joke), and finally > after her last suicide attempt (when she got her diagnosis). She was put on > medication, which seemed to help her along with the therapy. But she quit > taking the medicine and therapy after she turned 18. Then she decided to > move back to California (to get away from us Kentucky hicks). She tried to > live with her grandparents – they kicked her out too. Then with her two > aunts. No good. She lived from day to day (we think she hooked some of the > time), in flop houses, and occassionally with men and other girls, until > they couldn’t stand it any longer and kicked her out. Anyway, this went on > for over a year. > Then, last March, my wife suddenly anounced that daughter #2 was coming > home. I tried to get along, even tried to reconcile with her. Same old > story. She began working at strip joints as a dancer. I had to kick her > out again because she refused to respect our wishes and not do drugs, > especially in our home. She came back two weeks later, and started it all > over again. I had to kick her out again. After another two weeks, two of > her friends came over and told me that she was pregnant. Terrific! Well, I > for one thought she needed to come home, whatever her problems, she was > going to have a child and was going to need all the help she could get. My > wife agreed, and so she came home. Things were pretty good for a while – she > quit smoking, and doing drugs (I really worry about the child, though). > Things settled down some. > Then in July, took my wife, oldest step-daughter, and step-grandchild to > Kings Island (youngest one didn’t go, she had to work, she says). Had a > great time. Bought the youngest one a tee-shirt. Gave it to her the next > morning, she thanked me, then proceeded into a tirade because she had bought > a loaf of bread and someone had eaten some of it (Come on! Really). I > explained that I had made breakfast for everyone, and we didn’t have any > other bread, and that I would buy her another loaf. She proceeded to curse > at me and everyone else, and yelled at the grandchild. I had had enough, I > tried to give her five dollars for the bread, and she smacked it out of my > hand, cursed at me some more. I asked her to leave, and turned and she hit > me in the back of the head with a hard shoe. I got furious, and tried to go > after her (I might have hit her, if my wife hadn’t intervened – she was in > the bathroom through all of this). I know – my getting angry was the worst > thing I could have done. My wife decided that she wanted a divorce. Said > she didn’t love me anymore. We talked through all of our emotions, and did > not make the leap. The daughter came home that evening. Next two weeks > were hard for us all. But things cooled down > Meat of the problem: > My wife and I have been passionately in love with each other since we first > started dating. She is my soulmate. We try to share as much of the burdens > as we can. I have tried to be as supportive of her and her children as any > step-father can. She is a saint. She moved here from California during the > recession of 1981, she says because there was more work here than there > (even though I know we had 11% unemplyment at the time). Anyway, she worked > and went to school and raised her two daughters on her own. It was very > hard for her. Which, I think is partially why she married me. I know this, > but I wanted to help her, and make her life and their lives better, and > easier. > It has been very hard, and has really stressed our relationship. For the > past two months, she has become increasingly distant. Although we were > still having sex – great sex, always (never with great frequency, however – > I’ll take it when I can get it), she was increasingly wanting more time to > herself. Then, when I got a dsl hook up, she became obssessed with being > on-line – can’t blame her there, its awesome! However, she was coming home, > going on-line, and staying on-line until it was time to go to work the next > morning. I’m laying there in bed all night waiting for her to come up. > I’m an insomniac, so I can understand the obssession she was having with the > internet. I usually get on-line or otherwise work on the computer until 2-3 > in the morning about once to three times a week. But she was doing this > every single night for weeks, and staying up all night. I knew that with > her it was more than an addiciton, she was avoiding me, although we were > generally talking fine. There’s more. She has obssessive-compulsive > disorder, as does her sister. She has been going to a psychiatrist for a > couple of years. She has been seeing a therapist for at least five months. > Her sister has it worse than she does, at least until now. All the time she > was staying up all night I knew, or suspected, that she was contemplating > leaving me. She has said several times over the last year that she wanted > to be alone. She was in a way, pushing me and her children (but not the > grandchild) away from her. She asked for space. I gave it to her, as much > as she wanted, and didn’t push the issue. > Then a month ago, I went out of town for a week. When I returned, she was > back on the computer. I tried to talk to her about her problems, but she > was so cold about it all. She said she didn’t miss me while I was gone, and > thought it would be best if we got a divorce. We talked about it, and she > said that we should see a therapist. She said it would help my transition. > Like a jerk, I said "what’s the point, you’ve already made up your mind?! > We talked some more, and I told her that if she thought it would help, we > could go. That night she sat at the computer, while I laid in bed awake. > The next day, with the grandchild in the livingroom, the two daughters got > into a really bad catfight over a $2 daytimer (they do not get along > either-youngest totally resents the oldest, oldest can’t stand of the > youngest). I calmly stepped between the two, and asked the oldest to take > her little boy (my buddy) and go home (I was totally concerned for his > emotional and possibly physical wellbeing at this point). My wife asked the > youngest to leave. She

Response:

On Wed, 1 Nov 2000 14:23:36 -0000, "Hassled Housepuppy" wrote:

Hiya Housepuppy, Welcome to alt.support.marriage (asm) Thank you for your long, thoughtful post to my ever cynical remarks. While in previous posts I allowed you might not be a spamming troll, my suspicions remained until your recent reply. At this stage I can see you are looking for information and help … I apologize if my previous remarks made you feel even worse. You ask where the help and/or reading suggestions are for your problems … fair enough. First though, you have to provide some clues as to what problems you face or would like to resolve. Some might suggest you do a deja.com search on a specific asm topic since almost everything has been convered here at one time or another but the deja.com archives are falling apart and besides, some of the best stuff is not under subject titles that are obvious. >Where does that leave me? Ah, yes! Newsgroup recommended reading, or was >that Newsgroup’s favoured Spammed reading? You say that several publications >are regularly recommended. Pardon me for trying, but I can’t remember seeing >one on solving my marriage issues. Pray tell me exactly where to look? >Before opening my mouth this time, I’ve been back and had another look, but >can’t see what you’re referring to, specifically. Perhaps you can be more >specific – titles, authors, what their qualifications are, who owns them and >who backs their knowledge, why I should trust them, why I should trust your >judgement over any such otherwise unknown (to me) source, why I should be >prepared to get my credit card out for them – all that sort of thing might >be real supportive and helpful.

You say you had been lurking before finally posting to George … while reading all those other posts didn’t you notice that when people lay out a problem or situation, others make suggestions which may be helpful? In fact, in the threads where the original poster comes back to add information or clarify something, the suggestions generally become more and more concrete…. that is until the thread veers off into left field as often happens with loooong threads >Problem for me is, with more trouble brewing at home, I need some real help >right now but you’ve instilled doubts in my mind too.

Good, you are not gullible Around Usenet, there is an old saying to take what you can use and leave the rest. When you come to a public support group, you may hear things you do not like. This is not one of those groups where people tell you "poor person … {{{{hugs}}}}" … on the other hand, sometimes all it takes is one or two solid suggestions to get a person to consider something they just had not thought about. Why not give the folks around here a crack at your problem … lay out what trouble is brewing and see what happens. You may get nothing of value but there is always the chance something will click. Keep in mind, most people here are ordinary folks … even those with training in counseling and therapy are here as regular folks. I have no training in this stuff … consider me to be akin to a pet rock. >Perhaps you can resolve that dilemma for me, as well. If you can tell me >exactly how I can sort out my marriage, or what books I can buy off the >shelf that will tell me exactly what to do, or which ones to get out of the >Library or Newsgroup, I’ll be eternally grateful. If not, I’ll send the >e-mail and be damned, and let you know if and when they reply if you’re >genuinely interested in being constructive about other people’s problems. >In the meantime, how about giving some genuine marriage support with some >RELIABLE recommended reading, instead of serving me unsettling and unnerving >platitudes and accusations?

Start a new thread, either using your housepuppy name or another one … let’s see what happens. Regardless, I do hope you are able to solve the problems you face. Floridanewbie

Response:

CJ Taking your observations to be sincere, and not merely sarcastic, thank you very much for your sympathy. I feel much better now knowing that I have been missing out on "some of the best available advice for free" all my life. Do tell, where did I go wrong? But, far more important to me right now, pray do tell, where can I get reliable (and also genuinely impartial) advice as to how to resolve my marriage and personal problems without (yet again) getting into the (unwelcome and unwanted) drip-feed of masked or blatant religion or all the usual "alternative" therapies? I would love to know! Please let me in on the secret. Hassled Housepuppy CJMorgan59 wrote in message

news:20001024182405.04914.00000614@ng-fz1.aol.com… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> "Hassled Housepuppy" hass…@mailandnews.com wrote: > >Out of all of my dreadful personal experiences, I have learnt two very > >expensive lessons. > >The first is that if its offered for free, it probably isn’t worth diddly > squat. > Some of life’s best advise is just there for the asking. Sorry to hear you’ve > never come across it. > CJ

Response:

"Hassled Housepuppy" hass…@mailandnews.com wrote: >Out of all of my dreadful personal experiences, I have learnt two very >expensive lessons. >The first is that if its offered for free, it probably isn’t worth diddly

squat. Some of life’s best advise is just there for the asking. Sorry to hear you’ve never come across it. CJ

Response:

Floridanewbie Responding to your understandable cynicism of all that appears on offer on the Internet, I have moved your suggestions along. First of all, I can’t help it whether you believe me or not, but I have nothing to sell, or Spam, to this Newsgroup – unless you want to go into the gardening business, so I have no sales to report. Next, you accuse me of nefariousness, because I haven’t posted to alt.support.marriage before. Well, surprize, surprize, I came new to this group very recently for exactly that – "support.marriage", yes, support with my marriage troubles, but I don’t see a lot of that going around, not really and certainly not from you. More like, on my experiences of the Newsgroup so far, "Well if this Newsgroup is the best I can turn to, I might as well give up my marriage right now". Why haven’t I posted before? Are you ready for another surprize? Just like you, I’m suspicious too! I believe in looking around a bit before making myself known – or making myself look foolish. Been there, done that, got the tea-shirt in the Chat-rooms, thank you very much. But, silly me too, George’s plight struck a cord with my own experiences, but I wish I hadn’t bothered to try and make a contribution to him or the Newsgroup – But I probably won’t bother again, and I don’t see a lot of marriage support in that either. Where does that leave me? Ah! The wonderful wonders of the Library and all those reliable books on solving marriage trouble just waiting to be plucked off the shelf! Putting the semantics of "free" or not to one side as apparently not the real issue with you, I wholeheartedly agree with what you say about it being nice to see and assess a book before you buy – my sentiments entirely – applies to a lot of other things as well, but it isn’t always possible and it didn’t work for me in marriage at any rate. Taking your point to heart, however, I did as you inspired and went along to the local Library and asked whether they could point me to any publications that would actually tell me how to solve my marriage and personal problems in specific terms – guess what, yes, life is full of surprizes, I came out empty handed, after an hour and a half – what a surprize! Not much help there then, unless you can tell me which publications you found to be genuine on my subject of interest? Where does that leave me? Ah, yes! Newsgroup recommended reading, or was that Newsgroup’s favoured Spammed reading? You say that several publications are regularly recommended. Pardon me for trying, but I can’t remember seeing one on solving my marriage issues. Pray tell me exactly where to look? Before opening my mouth this time, I’ve been back and had another look, but can’t see what you’re referring to, specifically. Perhaps you can be more specific – titles, authors, what their qualifications are, who owns them and who backs their knowledge, why I should trust them, why I should trust your judgement over any such otherwise unknown (to me) source, why I should be prepared to get my credit card out for them – all that sort of thing might be real supportive and helpful. Then there’s the F W Consultancy. I’ve been back and had another look at their site, too. I take on board your point about not knowing them – me either – and that they don’t say who backs them or why they should be trusted, but at least they have an address and telephone and fax numbers to refer to which is more than many sites offer when (or if) they’ve really got something to hide. Perhaps we should be paranoid because they’re an English site, and not American? Perhaps we should be paranoid, just because they’re on the Internet in the first place? They also show up as top rating in several search engines for Marriage Consultancy – if that is supposed to mean anything – with the rest only as glorified dating agencies – or does that confirm they are con people in your mind? Problem for me is, with more trouble brewing at home, I need some real help right now but you’ve instilled doubts in my mind too. I’ve drafted an e-mail to them, conveying all the fears and phobias about unknown organisations and Newsgroups, and asking them what assurances they can give about trusting them, but I’m in two minds to send it or not. What if they bite back – tell me I’m a fool if I think I am going to get anything worthwhile from them? What if they appear genuine? What if they actually offer something I actually want, or need? Is this group alt.support.marriage, or the knock the poor b****rd whilst he’s down group? Perhaps you can resolve that dilemma for me, as well. If you can tell me exactly how I can sort out my marriage, or what books I can buy off the shelf that will tell me exactly what to do, or which ones to get out of the Library or Newsgroup, I’ll be eternally grateful. If not, I’ll send the e-mail and be damned, and let you know if and when they reply if you’re genuinely interested in being constructive about other people’s problems. In the meantime, how about giving some genuine marriage support with some RELIABLE recommended reading, instead of serving me unsettling and unnerving platitudes and accusations? floridanewbie wrote in message

news:39f5d1f4.164036014@news.mindspring.com… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> On Tue, 24 Oct 2000 17:31:09 +0100, "Hassled Housepuppy" > wrote: > >Accuse all you will, it seemed that George wanted some help and my apologies > >for bothering at all. > >As a fellow problem-marriage sufferer, I ask, "What’s he supposed to do?" Is > >he supposed to decide that his marriage is not worth $15? Why is everything > >and everyone total crap if they don’t give everything away for free? In my > >experience, you’re lucky if you get what you pay for, let alone worry about > >the freebies. > > Give away for free? What did you read? I wrote: > > My advice … head for your nearest library or bookstore … do not > > waste time on this unknown site being promoted by a spammer. > Neither bookstores nor libraries give stuff away for free, at least > not in the US. My real estate taxes support my public library. My > university tuition and alumni contributions support my academic > library access. My bookstores expect me to hand over cash before I > can trot out with their books. > Perhaps you are a well-intentioned person who would never stoop to > spamming but it is interesting you come to the group without ever > having posted before, at least not that I recall, and suggest a site > that gives absolutely zero information about itself other than the > titles of some stuff it wants to sell. For all I know those titles > could be a few sheets of paper stapled together, plagerized from other > sources, assuming the buyer gets anything at all once giving out > his/her credit card number. > I use libraries heavily to see if trees have died in vain … there is > a LOT of crap published. If I find a keeper in the library, I then > buy it for myself… sometimes I buy multiple copies and give them > away as gifts to others. > In this group there are several books people recommend time and time > again … those titles are also something worth reading and/or buying. > Have you looked at any of the books others have suggested here? > > >You advise going to the nearest library or bookstore, so what’s he going to > >buy and by whom? Who else do you know that claims to provide expert > >solutions to marriage problems, let alone provide them for free? Is he > >supposed to reject some organization just because you haven’t heard of them? > >Since when has a Consultancy been allowed to deliver garbage and get away > >with it? > Yeah .. there you go … put a title on your web site and now you are > a reputable, legitimate business … silly me! I can be so cynical > and suspicious … > If businesses can find enough people to send them money just once, > they can stay in business for a long time. Have you not noticed this? > > Why are we so interested in their Terms and Conditions? It would be > >a pretty crap service if they did not have that information stipulated > >somewhere. Why can’t George be allowed to make up his own mind? > I suggested others would be better advised to use places where they > could see the actual publications and judge for themselves if the > thing looked like it was worth the time and/or money. You seem to > believe they should buy sight unseen … I could find nothing on that > web site that gave me any useful information; did I miss a hidden web > page that only appears for "true believers?" > People should make up their own mind … let us know if you got a lot > of orders after you posted your site here. > Floridanewbie, eternally suspcious

Response:

On Tue, 24 Oct 2000 17:31:09 +0100, "Hassled Housepuppy" wrote: >Accuse all you will, it seemed that George wanted some help and my apologies >for bothering at all. >As a fellow problem-marriage sufferer, I ask, "What’s he supposed to do?" Is >he supposed to decide that his marriage is not worth $15? Why is everything >and everyone total crap if they don’t give everything away for free? In my >experience, you’re lucky if you get what you pay for, let alone worry about >the freebies.

Give away for free? What did you read? I wrote: > My advice … head for your nearest library or bookstore … do not > waste time on this unknown site being promoted by a spammer.

Neither bookstores nor libraries give stuff away for free, at least not in the US. My real estate taxes support my public library. My university tuition and alumni contributions support my academic library access. My bookstores expect me to hand over cash before I can trot out with their books. Perhaps you are a well-intentioned person who would never stoop to spamming but it is interesting you come to the group without ever having posted before, at least not that I recall, and suggest a site that gives absolutely zero information about itself other than the titles of some stuff it wants to sell. For all I know those titles could be a few sheets of paper stapled together, plagerized from other sources, assuming the buyer gets anything at all once giving out his/her credit card number. I use libraries heavily to see if trees have died in vain … there is a LOT of crap published. If I find a keeper in the library, I then buy it for myself… sometimes I buy multiple copies and give them away as gifts to others. In this group there are several books people recommend time and time again … those titles are also something worth reading and/or buying. Have you looked at any of the books others have suggested here? >You advise going to the nearest library or bookstore, so what’s he going to >buy and by whom? Who else do you know that claims to provide expert >solutions to marriage problems, let alone provide them for free? Is he >supposed to reject some organization just because you haven’t heard of them? >Since when has a Consultancy been allowed to deliver garbage and get away >with it?

Yeah .. there you go … put a title on your web site and now you are a reputable, legitimate business … silly me! I can be so cynical and suspicious … If businesses can find enough people to send them money just once, they can stay in business for a long time. Have you not noticed this? > Why are we so interested in their Terms and Conditions? It would be >a pretty crap service if they did not have that information stipulated >somewhere. Why can’t George be allowed to make up his own mind?

I suggested others would be better advised to use places where they could see the actual publications and judge for themselves if the thing looked like it was worth the time and/or money. You seem to believe they should buy sight unseen … I could find nothing on that web site that gave me any useful information; did I miss a hidden web page that only appears for "true believers?" People should make up their own mind … let us know if you got a lot of orders after you posted your site here. Floridanewbie, eternally suspcious

Response:

Accuse all you will, it seemed that George wanted some help and my apologies for bothering at all. As a fellow problem-marriage sufferer, I ask, "What’s he supposed to do?" Is he supposed to decide that his marriage is not worth $15? Why is everything and everyone total crap if they don’t give everything away for free? In my experience, you’re lucky if you get what you pay for, let alone worry about the freebies. Out of all of my dreadful personal experiences, I have learnt two very expensive lessons. The first is that if its offered for free, it probably isn’t worth diddly squat. The second is that I have paid out $000’s and $000’s on, so called, counseling that never helped my family or me a jot You advise going to the nearest library or bookstore, so what’s he going to buy and by whom? Who else do you know that claims to provide expert solutions to marriage problems, let alone provide them for free? Is he supposed to reject some organization just because you haven’t heard of them? Since when has a Consultancy been allowed to deliver garbage and get away with it? Why are we so interested in their Terms and Conditions? It would be a pretty crap service if they did not have that information stipulated somewhere. Why can’t George be allowed to make up his own mind? floridanewbie wrote in message

news:39f43c55.60181436@news.mindspring.com… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> On Mon, 23 Oct 2000 14:16:40 +0100, "Hassled Housepuppy" > wrote: > > >Trolling around the Search Engines in desperation one day, > ^^^^^^ > > Wow, an honest spammer!!!!! Trolling, trolling, la dee dah > > >I haven’t actually tried them yet, ‘cos things have quietened down at home > >for me, but give it a look. If you want to save your marriage, they say they > >will tell you how. It’s at www.fwconsultancy.com > > OK, let’s not be closed minded … Let’s see what is on the site. Oh > damn … what a surprise … give us your credit card number and we, > an unknown outfit, will send you a special report … not a drop of > useful information without giving them money. > ================================================= > > Before ordering, you should satisfy yourself regarding Terms and > Conditions, which also provide details about the use of credit cards > Ordering a copy of a specialist Consultancy publication could not be > simpler > To order on-line, click on a publication title below and you will be > transferred to an order page on our administration site at > friendlyways.com > If you order on-line you will be awarded 5 epoints for every